Older students in schools often pick on younger children especially during recess periods. How should a bullied child react?
The best advice to give bullied children is to keep away from bullies to the extent possible. This isn’t cowardice, it’s a passive defence mechanism. The more exposed they are, the more vulnerable they become to bulllies. Advise children to stay back in the classroom during the peak bullying season and to hang out with groups of friends. Generally, bullies lose interest after a while. But if you feel that your child is being sought out and bullied in spite of her staying away, then the matter cannot be taken lightly. It has to be immediately reported to school authorities. Usually in such cases, the bully is not a harmless older child picking on a kid, but one with deeper problems who wants to take them out on a helpless younger child.

What’s the stage when parents need to take children’s bullying reports seriously?
A bullied child will drop hints (usually bullies extract a vow of silence from victims). Or often tell you directly that somebody is picking on them. Ask for all details the first time if they tell you or talk to your child’s friends. Trust your instinct. If your child suddenly seems reluctant about going to school, has unusual night awakenings, sudden mood changes, avoids certain people, loses appetite and is not her usual self, it’s time to take up the issue with school authorities. Never ignore your child in this matter. She needs your support.

What should children do when bullied?
Children can try different options. One is to ignore the bully’s provocations and become friendly with the bully and win over the enemy. Alternatively advise your child to drop hints that she will complain to teachers/parents. Or she could even give the bully an open confrontational telling off.

Depending on the situation, children need to choose the best course of action. Guide your child, using your discretion and experience.

Meanwhile find out if there are rules against bullying in school. If so, what are they?
Most schools have basic rules — no teasing, passing rude or lewd remarks, etc. Schools can take precautions by appointing teachers/student volunteers to monitor crowded areas like the canteen, playground or toilets during recess hours.

If space permits, they can also segregate primary, middle and senior students to avoid unnecessary clashes.

Hi-Five

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Also read: How parents can prevent and deal with bullying