Aarthi Takawane

I want to teach my seven-year-old personal safety rules without getting her scared and suspicious of all strangers. Please suggest.

— Mrinalini Kiran, Delhi

Children in the six-ten age group are developing operational thinking — they understand rules and logic but are still emotionally sensitive. The key is to empower without alarming.

Try these practical ways to teach her personal safety rules:

Use role-play. Practise some scenarios – for instance, her getting separated in a crowd: “If you can’t find me, go to a shopkeeper and say, ‘I’m lost, can you help me call my parent?’”

Teach the “Safe 5” rule. Teach them to identify five trusted adults she can turn to for help when in danger — such as uniformed personnel, store staff, teachers.

Reinforce body autonomy. Teach her it’s okay to say no to unwanted touch, even from adults she knows.

Teach the “Uh-oh” feeling. Encourage children to trust their instincts. If something feels wrong, they don’t have to explain why — they can leave or ask for help.

Fear is immobilizing; confidence through preparation is empowering. Focus on skill-building rather than stranger-danger narratives, which are often exaggerated.

Please recommend some ways to teach my child values such as gratitude, contentment and empathy without being preachy.

— Risha Choudhry, Mumbai

In cities saturated with advertising, consumerism and social comparison, children are vulnerable to equating happiness with material goods. Here are some effective ways to teach the virtues of gratitude and empathy.

Create daily gratitude rituals. A “gratitude jar” at dinner or bedtime sharing of “three good things” grounds them in appreciation.

Connect gratitude to action. Encourage thank-you notes to express gratitude after receiving gifts, kindness. This builds children’s social-emotional awareness.

Limit material rewards. Avoid using toys or treats as the primary motivator. Focus instead on experiences and other rewards.

Introduce mindfulness practices. Teach children mindfulness practices such as breathing exercises, mindful coloring, or listening to calming music to relax and de-stress.

Children learn more from parental behaviour than what they say. Cultivate a culture of contentment at home.

I am apprehensive about pushing my daughter into the ultra-competitive higher education system. Yet I want her to succeed and give her best without experiencing stress and anxiety. She is in class X. Please advise.

— Jean Mondal, Bengaluru

In high-pressure urban academic environments, children easily internalise performance anxiety. You need to shift focus from outcomes to inputs. Here are some strategies

to do so:

Model adaptive self-talk. Let her hear you say: “I don’t know this yet, but I can learn.” This normalises struggle and failure as part of the learning process.

Praise process, not just results. Instead of “You’re so smart,” say, “You worked hard to figure that out” or “I noticed you didn’t give up.”

De-stigmatize failure. Share age-appropriate stories of your own setbacks and what you learned. This builds psychological safety around failure.

Encourage self-reflection. Ask questions such as, “What was hard about that?” or “What would you try differently next time?” This encourages metacognition.

In competitive settings, it’s crucial to protect intrinsic motivation. Children need to know that their worth is not tied to exam success, but to persistence and effort.

When my six-year-old child sees beggars at traffic lights, he asks many questions, which I can’t answer well. Any suggestions?

— Hardik Manvik, Pune

Children at this stage are capable of moral reasoning and often keen observers of social disparities. The goal is to validate their observations while encouraging empathy, not guilt or despair. Here are some ways to help him understand:

Create space for open dialogue. When children ask questions about homelessness and poverty, don’t shut it down. Use it as a springboard: “What do you think it might feel like to live without a home?” If they make simplistic judgments (e.g., “They must be lazy”), offer broader context: “Sometimes people face difficult situations like losing a job or health problems.”

Encourage action-based empathy. Involve them in age-appropriate volunteering, donation drives, or community clean-ups. Action helps reduce helplessness.

Be honest but hopeful. Acknowledge that inequality is real but also highlight efforts and people working toward solutions — “Many people are trying to make things better.”

Avoid overexposure. Shield them from overwhelming news or adult-level discussions because their emotional processing is still developing.

(Aarthi Takawane is a Pune-based psychologist and Head, Skill Development Center, National Federation for Blind, Maharashtra)