On a flight from Washington D.C. to California some years ago, a passenger sitting beside me inquired what I was working on that seemed to have all my attention. I mentioned I was working on my next book, which was about the impact of sports and physical activity on a young person’s success in life. My fellow passenger thought for a long minute, and said: “You know, I’ve often thought that if I could be God for just a few seconds, the one thing I would grant people would be the ability to feel better about themselves.” In over half a century that I have been working with children and adults as a counselor, corporate and sports consultant, development of self-esteem has been the most frequently requested topic in workshops. And in counseling and one-on-one coaching sessions, self-esteem, and how adults and youth should assess themselves quickly becomes a major theme of conversation. The dictionary describes self-esteem as “belief in oneself, self-respect”. In short, when people talk about someone having self-esteem, they mean that the person has self- acceptance and believes she is worthy of respect and love. People who have high self-esteem and self-confidence tend to be more successful with friendships, and in business, love and sports. Good things seem to happen for them; their relationships are more solid and enduring; they get things done, and they derive greater enjoyment from work and play. Self-esteem is an enduring virtue which lasts a lifetime. Children with healthy self-esteem have no inhibitions while interacting with others, are comfortable in diverse social settings and enjoy group activities as well as independent pursuits. When confronted with problems they work towards finding solutions. It can’t be grown in an incubator; it is the outcome of a childhood development process that streams into adulthood. In sports arenas and playing fields worldwide, there are many ways in which parents, teachers and coaches can develop the self-esteem of their children. Given below are eight guidelines for building your child’s confidence and self-esteem. Sports should be fun for children. If you listen to kids or read reports about why they play sports, it should become obvious that the number one reason is to have fun. Fun, play and games make up the special world of children. It’s our job as parents, teachers and coaches to let children enjoy sports and physical activity. Become a positive role model. If you are excessively harsh or demanding of yourself, pessimistic, or unrealistic about your abilities and limitations, your child will mirror you. You are a role model in how you react to a close contest or a poor call by an umpire or referee. Remain calm and in control. In short, nurture your own self-esteem, and your child will have an ideal role model. Watch your words. Children are very sensitive to what parents say. Therefore, give positive and constructive feedback. A child’s self-esteem is based on what they hear about themselves from others, especially parents. The more a child hears positives about herself,…
