In a championship game between two high school soccer teams, a goalkeeper was inadvertently kicked and knocked unconscious. With the ball in play and the unfortunate team trying to defend without a goalkeeper, a member of the opposing team intentionally kicked the ball out of bounds to stop play.When asked later why he kicked the ball out of bounds instead of trying to shoot it into the open goal, the young man said, If someone is hurt like that, especially the goalkeeper, you do that. If I had scored, it wouldnt have been much of a goal. This young player displayed an exceptional understanding of the difference between winning and success — that one doesnt necessarily equal the other. And I would like to stress that not everyone understands that difference. It is when sportspersons entirely equate winning with success (and vice versa) that sportsmanship problems arise. Hardly surprising. If you must win to feel successful, then losing becomes an even bigger blow to the ego than it is ordinarily. Unless the difference between winning fairly on a level playing field and winning at any price is understood, the pressure to win often at the cost of ones self-esteem and peer reputation, becomes intense. So how do you help your kids distinguish the difference between winning fairly and ‘success? First, you have to examine your own attitudes and beliefs. How important do you believe winning is in the grand scale of things? I know one mom who thought she was pretty enlightened when it came to sportsmanship issues — until her favourite basketball team experienced its first losing season in two decades. Suddenly, she couldnt even read the sports pages as it was too painful. But gradually she rectified her over-reaction. If I am like this over a bunch of guys I dont even know, what am I going to do when my kids team starts losing? she reasoned. As a responsible parent its important for the growth and development of your children that you dont equate winning with success. Success is all about honest effort, good feeling, comradeship, making a contribution, developing skills, and having fun — things we have some control over. Individuals have control over the amount of effort they put into training and on-field performance, but they have limited control over the final points on the scoreboard. Success is what youngsters strive for, but unfortunately winning is what adults value, and kids know it. In the world of sports, the word ‘success is usually used to describe a desired outcome or goal. A successful athlete is one who performs at a certain established level. However, since not everyone can win, outcomes are not the best way to determine success. Therefore, its better for parents, athletes, and coaches to define success on the basis of self-improvement. This could be by improving attitudes (being open to learning, positive) and behaviour (showing up for practice on time, becoming a team player, etc). As a responsible and caring parent, how…
