For more than 25 years I have been designing, developing and, most important, implementing sports education programmes for coaches and parents. I regularly solicit views of parents and coaches relating to sports opportunities their children are availing today. Their views on the subject tend to be confusing and disturbing. • “Today’s young athletes have such great coaches, equipment and organisation, I wish I had these opportunities when I was a kid.” • “One of the reasons I coach my kids is because I was a pretty good athlete myself as a youngster — but I had some pretty bad coaches along the way which prevented me from transforming from good to great.” • “It’s a shame girls weren’t given the chance to play when I was young, because I was a natural athlete. I only hope my daughter takes advantage of all the possibilities that sports offers young women today.” What I perceive in these comments, is a subtle but underlying message revealing the unfulfilled dreams of coaches and parents. Yes, of course, they all want the best for their children. But it also seems fair to ask: is their prime motivation to have their kids achieve the goals in sports and life that they themselves couldn’t attain a generation earlier? Perhaps the most important lesson to be learnt by coaches and parents of young athletes, is that as children continue to climb the ladder of achievement in the world of sports, they must consciously separate the dreams of their wards from their own. A coach might see a young athlete becoming a star goalie of the soccer team, but in his mind, the player may be hoping he’s just good enough to make the team and nothing more. As a parent or coach, you will naturally play an active role in your ward’s development. And it’s only natural that you have a desire to not only steer them over the rough paths of childhood, but also to enhance their enjoyment of playing sports and games — especially if they exhibit exceptional talent in a particular activity. Having said that, there’s definitely a point when, as mature adults, coaches and parents need to ask themselves whether they are letting children pursue their own dreams — or subconsciously forcing their dreams upon their children and mentees. Parents pressuring children and pointing them in a direction they are reluctant to go can adversely affect the parent-child or coach-trainee equation. Very often, the loud-mouthed, over-bearing parent or coach of a young athlete is someone who doesn’t see his child or ward getting a bad call or a raw deal from the game official or referee, but sees himself and his own ambitions being thwarted. This whole issue becomes complicated because most children and youth will tell you they enjoy playing sports, and that they especially enjoy doing well because it “pleases Mom and Dad or my coach so much”. There’s certainly nothing wrong or improper about youngsters doing their best to win the…
