Dr. Priyanka G Halwasiya
Dr. Priyanka G. Halwasiya, a child psychologist at Sir Ganga Ram Hospital, Delhi, shares guidelines for parents to educate adolescent children about online dating safety and dangers
The advent of the internet, social media and dating apps has changed the way people meet and interact. Especially for tech-savvy adolescents, the online world has become the go-to place to meet and romance. But the worldwide web is not without its dangers and traps. Cyber bullying, online sexual abuse, impersonation, identity theft, and financial scams among other dangers, lurk online. It’s the duty of parents to prepare and educate children about online safety.
Dr. Priyanka G. Halwasiya, a child psychologist at Sir Ganga Ram Hospital, Delhi, and co-founder of Ehsaas, an association of school counselors and psychologists, shares guidelines for parents to educate adolescent children about online dating safety and dangers.
Share limited personal information online. The world of social media has its share of fake accounts. Educate teenage children against blindly believing claims of strangers. Teach them that they should never share personal information and photos, never send their bank information, usernames, or passwords to anyone they’ve met online. Also to never send money for any reason, even if the person claims it’s an emergency.
Moreover, if your teen decides to meet an online ‘stranger’ pretending to be a friend in the physical world, ensure you are informed of the meeting time and venue, and that you/a trusted adult is present at the date venue.
Real vs. online. When teenagers meet and interact online, the social and non-verbal cues of real world conversations are missing. Therefore it’s difficult to establish relationships of love and trust. Explain to children the difference between real vs. screen and that romantic relationships are built on in-person interactions involving mutual trust and respect.
Set privacy settings. It’s important that children keep personal information such as their location, address and where they attend school or college, private. Teach them to use the right privacy settings across all their social media accounts and turn off location services, so they can control information that’s available for everyone.
Dangers of sexting. Discuss with teens — who are in a vulnerable phase of their lives and experiencing sexual awakening — the dangers of ‘sexting’ i.e, using the phone, computer, or camera to take or send sex-related text messages or images, usually selfies. Warn them about different ways their texts, pictures and videos can be misused by sexual predators. In the wrong hands, a sext can perpetuate bullying, emotional abuse, revenge porn, harassment, embarrassment, low self-esteem, and depression.
Discuss topics such as sex, intimacy, etc. Teens tend to seek validation online. So when it comes to dating, they may do or say inappropriate things to gain acceptance of the online friend. To ensure they make safer choices, talk to them about subjects such as trust, sex and intimacy. This will ensure they are well-informed and not led into believing something that isn’t true.
Encourage open communication with children. Adolescence is a time of intense physical, psychological and emotional changes. During the teen years, children experience emotional turmoil, highs and lows and are particularly vulnerable to peer pressure. In particular on social media, teens are out to impress, win and influence friends. Make every effort to create a culture of open communication and discussion with teenage children at home in which they feel comfortable to discuss their problems and insecurities with you. Simultaneously set clear rules and boundaries based on family values to provide a sense of stability and empowerment while avoiding sarcasm, taunts and preachy lectures. More important, make time for family activities in which you can have freewheeling discussions and real, not online, conversations.
Watch out for warning signs of an unhealthy online relationship. Parents need to be vigilant and observant of their teenage child’s behaviour. For instance if she is becoming overly secretive, disinterested in academics/home life, spending too much time online and not sleeping well, you need to intervene and investigate the causes. It could be that she is being forced to do things that she doesn’t want such as sharing personal pictures, or the online ‘friend’ is insulting, name calling or putting her down and/or threatening to blackmail her. If the situation is serious, proscribe the online friend’s account and henceforth monitor your child’s social media activity without being overly intrusive.
It’s critical that parents constantly remind and reassure their teenage children that they are always available to listen to them without judgment. It’s the duty of parents to empower, guide and support teenage children to blossom into young confident adults.
