Cynthia John Hello Parents! I recently met a mother who is waging regular battles with her daughter. Her 14-year old daughter wants to go out with friends, hang out at malls and visit friends, like most teenagers. But given the deteriorating law and order situation countrywide, her parents refuse to allow her to go anywhere unaccompanied. Her mother fears dangers lurking in teen hangouts such as malls — shady males hanging around, girls being served spiked drinks and so on. Teens, preteens and moms will continue to wage these battles, involving curfews, dating, sex, and related matters (see EducationWorld, December 2012). But parents should note that too many restrictions are as dangerous as too much freedom. The highly restricted child could become rebellious, prompting dangerous behaviour including leaving home, indulging in clandestine substance abuse and highly sexual behaviour. Likewise a teen given too much freedom could get involved in substance abuse, pornography and premarital sex. Striking a balance between freedom and restrictions is the duty of every responsible parent. Of course, this is a tricky business and could involve a lifelong struggle. Ultimately, the values and judgement inculcated in children shape them and help them to do the right thing, choose suitable companions, and resist dangerous addictions. I believe the personal time spent with children, bonding with them and transfering values makes a vital difference. The minutes spent listening to your child, telling bedtime stories, sharing anecdotes from your life… all of them accumulate over the years, building character and values. Your life, values and example will impact your child’s heart and personality.That’s why investing time in children is the best investment that parents can make. Idea Box: Stepping outdoors Increasingly, school, homework, television and computers are conspiring to keep your child indoors. Here are some strategies to get kids outdoors for activities and absorption of vitamin D. Host a photography contest. Give your children and their friends an outdoor theme, and prompt them to click good pictures. Organise a Nature search. Make a list of things that can be found in nature, and give your child and friends the list. This can be done in a public park, if it is not possible near your house. The person who brings every object listed is declared winner. Outdoor crafts. Give your child basic craft materials such as fevicol, scissors and cards. Let her hunt for objects like twigs, pebbles, feathers and stones and design creative greeting and thank you cards. Facebook Twitter LinkedIn WhatsApp
