Hello Parents!
I recently met a mother who is waging regular battles with her daughter. Her 14-year-old daughter wants to go out with friends and hang out at malls as do most teenagers.
But given the deteriorating law and order situation countrywide, her parents refuse to allow her to go anywhere unaccompanied. Her mother fears the dangers lurking in teen hangouts such as malls — shady males hanging around, girls being served spiked drinks and so on.
Teens, preteens and moms will continue to wage these battles, involving curfews, dating and related matters.
But parents should note that too many restrictions are as dangerous as too much freedom. The highly restricted child could become rebellious, leading to negative behaviour including running away, or indulging in clandestine substance abuse and risky sexual behaviour. Likewise a teen with too much freedom could get involved in substance abuse, pornography and premarital sex.
Striking a balance between freedom and restrictions is the duty of every responsible parent. Of course, this is a tricky business and could involve lifelong struggle.
Ultimately, the values and discernment that are inculcated in children are what shape them and help them to do the right thing, choose suitable companions, and resist dangerous addictions.
I believe all the personal time spent with children, bonding, understanding and building values makes the vital difference. The minutes spent listening to your child, telling bedtime stories, sharing anecdotes from her life… all of them just pile up over the years, building character and values. Your life, values and example will impact your child’s heart and personality. That’s why investing time in our children’s lives is the best investment that parents can make.
Also read: Why staying connected with your teenager is tricky but important