Akanksha Pandey
How can I help my 12-year-old son cope with peer pressure in school and make independent decisions without succumbing to negative influences?
— Meera Varma, Mumbai
Start by building your son’s confidence and critical thinking skills. Encourage open communication to ensure he is comfortable discussing his experiences and challenges with you. Role-play common peer pressure scenarios to help him practice assertive responses and decision-making skills. Teach him to evaluate the consequences of his choices, and to prioritize his values over seeking external approval. Reinforce positive friendships that align with your family’s values and emphasize the importance of standing up for one’s beliefs. With your support and guidance, he will make independent decisions and resist negative influences.
What are some ways parents living in crowded urban areas can encourage creativity in children, especially with limited access to outdoor play spaces?
— Hirvi Pandey, Delhi
Encouraging creativity in children living in urban environments can be enjoyable and rewarding. Start by creating a dedicated area at home for creative activities such as drawing, painting, creative writing, music, etc. Provide materials such as art paper, recycled items, and craft kits to spark their imagination. Encourage storytelling or writing by offering story prompts or journaling together. Engage in indoor activities such as cooking, which allows them to experiment with flavors and presentation. Additionally, virtual resources such as online art classes, music lessons, or coding workshops can nurture their creativity. Expose them to diverse experiences through books, documentaries, and virtual museum tours. Moreover, support children’s curiosity by encouraging questions and discussing their ideas and projects, and offering improvement ideas.
Please advise on some strategies to instill traditional cultural values in children exposed to fast-paced, modern lifestyles.
— Shikha Vineet, Chennai
Balancing traditional cultural values with a modern lifestyle involves creating a harmonious blend of two worlds. Incorporate cultural practices into your daily life, such as celebrating festivals, cooking traditional meals, and sharing stories about your family’s history. Expose your children to activities that connect them with their roots, such as classical dance, music, or language classes. At the same time, encourage them to explore modern interests, such as sports, technology, or contemporary art. It is important not to pressure them to adopt either set of values; instead, enable exposure to various experiences and allow them to choose how they want to engage — whether through active participation or simply by observing and learning. This helps children to develop their own balanced identities that are natural and authentic.
Lead by example in integrating traditional values into modern life, such as balancing work and family commitments, using technology responsibly. More importantly, encourage children to embrace diversity and adapt to change while remaining grounded in their cultural values.
My son has started expressing reservations about performing certain roles associated with girls. How can I teach him to challenge and overcome gender stereotypes in everyday life?
— Parvathy Nair, Kochi
Teaching your son to challenge and overcome gender stereotypes starts with creating an open and supportive environment where he is comfortable discussing his opinions. Encourage critical thinking by discussing examples of gender roles he encounters in media, school, and everyday life. Promote equality at home by sharing responsibilities and avoiding gender stereotyping. Encourage him to pursue activities and hobbies he enjoys, regardless of societal norms, and praise his efforts instead of reinforcing traditional gender roles.
Introduce him to diverse role models who defy traditional gender norms, such as male nurses, female scientists, or stay-at-home dads, to demonstrate that work and interests are not determined by gender. Lastly, teach him to respect and celebrate gender differences, emphasizing that challenging stereotypes creates a more inclusive and equitable society.
(Akanksha Pandey is a clinical psychologist and founder of Compathy Health, a Bengaluru-based healthcare company)