– Cathrine Neilsen-Hewett is an associate professor in early childhood education, Early Start and School of Education, University of Wollongong and Steven Howard is an associate professor, child development, University of Wollongong. (This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license) With governments around the world asking their citizens to avoid places, activities and gatherings to save lives, this just might be the largest ever international effort to self-regulate our actions against competing desires and impulses. To achieve this, we must overcome our desire to enjoy the sun and sand, go shopping or to the pub, and even embrace family and friends. Of course, it’s not so easy for young children, who must forego activities they previously enjoyed and may be confused by contradictions — like being able to see friends at, but not after, school. But there are ways parents can help children learn to regulate their emotions and behaviour, and to practise these skills. Why do kids need to learn to self-regulate? Self-regulation has always played an important role in our lives. It’s what underpins our ability to control our behaviour, emotions and interactions, while at the same time avoiding distractions and enticing alternatives. With lower levels of self-regulation, our decisions and behaviour would more frequently be poorly conceived, unnecessarily risky or inappropriate to the situation — often with undesirable results. Even in the early years of life, the ability to self-regulate is important. Preschool children who have better self-regulation are often better prepared for school and life. They tend to: have higher levels of academic success make fewer risky decisions as adolescents and enjoy better health, wealth and productivity as adults. So, what can we do to support children’s self-regulation, especially during this pandemic, when their capacity for self-control already appears to be under strain? Self-regulation requires at least three things: setting goals, problem-solving and working on motivation, and overcoming distraction and impulses. 1. Selecting goals Self-regulatory behaviour is goals-directed. This means children themselves must decide to behave in a particular way. If a child is unaware of (or forgets) a family tradition of waiting for everyone to be seated before starting to eat, she would be providing proof of poor self-regulation. Yet perhaps this child never decided to pursue that goal in the first place. We need to support children’s thinking and decision-making towards attaining goals, while acknowledging that goals can change and plans may need to be adjusted. Adults can support children to become goal-oriented by giving them opportunities to lead and make decisions, as well as encouraging them to devise simple plans, strategies and procedures to achieve set goals. This may be as simple as asking children to decide what they would like to play (building a cubby house), and plan where they would play (bedroom), with whom (mum, dad, sibling), and what resources they will need (cardboard box, cushions). 2. Problem-solving and motivation Even when a goal has been set, the path to realising it is seldom smooth. Children are…
