Why parental sensitivity matters for fathers and mothers Have you ever heard of children’s attachment or attachment theory? If you are a parent, caregiver or an educator, chances are that it rings a bell. Children’s attachment refers to a strong emotional bond that children develop toward people who care for them. A lot of research in recent decades highlights the importance of positive attachment — what scientists describe as “secure attachment.” Secure attachment acts like a superpower for children. When established, it can set the stage for positive outcomes, such as strong academic performance, learning, empathy, emotional regulation and well-being. As a result, many parents and caregivers want their children to develop a secure attachment. But how can parents and caregivers achieve this? In our recent study, a synthesis of 174 studies including more than 22,000 parents and children, we confirmed that when parents’ behaviour shows sensitivity to children’s needs, they are more likely to develop secure attachment. Being present and attentive As children grow, they face situations where they need support from their parents. For example, infants may cry because they are hungry, uncomfortable or feel scared because they heard a loud noise. Older children could scrape their knees falling off bikes or fear a monster in the closet. A “sensitive” parent is someone who notices when her child needs attention and responds promptly in a way that comforts and reassures the child. (See video about understanding children’s attachment needs from Circle of Security International.) An “insensitive” parent won’t notice that her child is in need, or may be less interested in supporting him/her. This could happen for multiple reasons. Their attention may be drawn elsewhere; they may be preoccupied with work or personal issues or their phones; they may also have a history of being insensitively parented, or may lack the knowledge and skills to heed and respond to their child’s cues effectively. Sensitivity fosters trust and security Our study, published in Psychological Bulletin, highlights how sensitive and responsive parenting behaviours are key ingredients to achieving secure attachment. Importantly, this is applicable to children of all ages, and girls and boys. This study tells us that sensitive behaviour assures children that they can rely on their parent in moments of need and trust them to help. This fosters secure attachment. Children’s sense of secure attachment with their parents or first caregivers is also the foundation for relationships with other caregivers as children grow up, such as grandparents and educators. When they have caregivers who respond to their needs, children learn that when situations get hard, they can rely on them for support and comfort. Most people may think mothers need to comfort a distressed child. However, our study reiterates that sensitive parenting must emanate from mothers and fathers. Being sensitive and responding to a child’s needs is about being attentive and caring, and this can be achieved by any caregiver. Strategies to become more sensitive Given the importance of sensitive behaviour, parents, grandparents and/or educators may wonder how…
