Dilip P Patel
Recently as I awaited my turn to address nearly 500 parents and teachers in a well known school in Bangalore, a thought flashed across my mind and I quickly converted it into the lead-in of my address.”Dear Parents, I have three questions to put to you. If your answer is in the affirmative, show it by raising your hand for each question.” After a brief pause, I added ‚ “And yes, you might find the first two questions stupid but I must ask them, so please answer them.”There was a pregnant silence. I fired my first question: “Do you love your children?” Almost every hand went up. I was left in no doubt that all the parents present loved their children. That was the first stupid question.My next question was: “Are you doing everything possible for your children to get the best out of them?” This was a more intelligent question, but then almost every parent and teacher believes they are doing their best for the children in their care. Hence many hands went up.The third question was even more intelligent: “Is your child giving his/ her best because of your efforts?” This time hardly any hands went up. Very few parents are satisfied with the performance ‚ in the classroom or beyond ‚ of their children. Ditto teachers who may have their favourites, based largely on their academic performance, but even they believe their favourites can do better. Hence the very few raised hands was understandable.Thus two of the most important influencers of the development and growth of children ‚ parents and teachers‚ are by and large, dissatisfied with their wards.
Therefore isn‚t it logical to presume that if this dissatisfaction is transformed into satisfaction, the latent talent in children will flower? This ‚ transforming parent-teacher perspectives ‚ is the purpose of life skills education.It has been my common experience that every time I address adults on values, ethics and life skills, either in the corporate arena, or on a social platform, they all chorus saying, “Yes, yes, you are doing a great job, but you need to concentrate on children. If our children are taught these good things, our society will surely improve.” Or words to this effect.This reaction has made me wonder whether society is only made up of children, since I‚m told that by teaching them good values and ethics society will improve. Weren‚t today‚s adults children once upon a time? Did no one teach them good values? If so why hasn‚t society improved? Why will it improve now? It‚s a puzzle. But a parable I heard sometime back provides a good insight. Let me put it in my own words.”I was in search of some pure, white ivory. I roamed the hills, rivers, and jungles. Suddenly I spotted a beautiful pair of pure, white curvaceous bars of ivory, four-five ft. long, jutting out of a bush. I ran to claim them. But, alas, they were firmly attached to a giant elephant.”
Children are like the ivory in the story. They are firmly connected with the adult world loosely defined as society. Can we really isolate them from society? Not possible! Hence, if we aspire for societal improvement, then adults connected with the lives of children have to simultaneously learn good values, ethics and life skills. And the closest to children‚s lives are their parents and teachers. Hence, if life skills are good for the improvement of society, they have to be acquired by teachers and parents as well. Only then will the white ivory remain pure and produce results in due course.
Therefore how and where do we begin? In every school there‚s an important recurring event known as the parent-teachers association (PTA) meeting. This is an excellent platform for life skills education.Usually parents walk into PTA meetings with caution and trepidation. The focus is usually on academics, poor performance in exams, home work, assignments and project work. It‚s blame game time with suggestions and advice passed back and forth. New promises are made to subject children to more rigorous learning regimens, controls and diktats. Not a few parents feel humiliated for being pulled up for their children‚s poor performance. And all this results in blame gaming at home as well. Therefore it‚s important to change the agenda of PTA meetings. If the importance of life skills learning is communicated to teachers and parents, the narrow focus on academics in PTA meetings will widen to encompass other mental capabilities strengthened by life skills. Over time, parents and teachers will begin to view education holistically. The pressure on academic performance will reduce. But for this to happen both parents and teachers must be exposed to the importance of life skills learning. Exposure of parents and teachers to life skills education will provide a vital link for students to connect with the adult world. It‚s well known that children tend to withdraw into isolation in adolescence. In a recent survey, more than 40 percent of children in class VIII (ages 13-14) admitted that communication with parents reduces drastically and is limited to operational needs. At this crucial time in their lives children and parents need to learn life skills to cope with the pressures of adolescence. If parents persist with authoritative, opinionated and controlling behaviour, children are likely to react with rebellion.
Life skills education ‚ for children, teachers and parents ‚ is necessary to nurture a more capable and responsible new generation. This issue will be discussed later.
(Dilip P. Patel is a director of The Activity, a Bangalore-based life skills education centre)
Life Skills Education
Dilip P Patel
Recently as I awaited my turn to address nearly 500 parents and teachers in a well known school in Bangalore, a thought flashed across my mind and I quickly converted it into the lead-in of my address.”Dear Parents, I have three questions to put to you. If your answer is in the affirmative, show it by raising your hand for each question.” After a brief pause, I added ‚ “And yes, you might find the first two questions stupid but I must ask them, so please answer them.”There was a pregnant silence. I fired my first question: “Do you love your children?” Almost every hand went up. I was left in no doubt that all the parents present loved their children. That was the first stupid question.My next question was: “Are you doing everything possible for your children to get the best out of them?” This was a more intelligent question, but then almost every parent and teacher believes they are doing their best for the children in their care. Hence many hands went up.The third question was even more intelligent: “Is your child giving his/ her best because of your efforts?” This time hardly any hands went up. Very few parents are satisfied with the performance ‚ in the classroom or beyond ‚ of their children. Ditto teachers who may have their favourites, based largely on their academic performance, but even they believe their favourites can do better. Hence the very few raised hands was understandable.Thus two of the most important influencers of the development and growth of children ‚ parents and teachers‚ are by and large, dissatisfied with their wards.
Therefore isn‚t it logical to presume that if this dissatisfaction is transformed into satisfaction, the latent talent in children will flower? This ‚ transforming parent-teacher perspectives ‚ is the purpose of life skills education.It has been my common experience that every time I address adults on values, ethics and life skills, either in the corporate arena, or on a social platform, they all chorus saying, “Yes, yes, you are doing a great job, but you need to concentrate on children. If our children are taught these good things, our society will surely improve.” Or words to this effect.This reaction has made me wonder whether society is only made up of children, since I‚m told that by teaching them good values and ethics society will improve. Weren‚t today‚s adults children once upon a time? Did no one teach them good values? If so why hasn‚t society improved? Why will it improve now? It‚s a puzzle. But a parable I heard sometime back provides a good insight. Let me put it in my own words.”I was in search of some pure, white ivory. I roamed the hills, rivers, and jungles. Suddenly I spotted a beautiful pair of pure, white curvaceous bars of ivory, four-five ft. long, jutting out of a bush. I ran to claim them. But, alas, they were firmly attached to a giant elephant.”
Children are like the ivory in the story. They are firmly connected with the adult world loosely defined as society. Can we really isolate them from society? Not possible! Hence, if we aspire for societal improvement, then adults connected with the lives of children have to simultaneously learn good values, ethics and life skills. And the closest to children‚s lives are their parents and teachers. Hence, if life skills are good for the improvement of society, they have to be acquired by teachers and parents as well. Only then will the white ivory remain pure and produce results in due course.
Therefore how and where do we begin? In every school there‚s an important recurring event known as the parent-teachers association (PTA) meeting. This is an excellent platform for life skills education.Usually parents walk into PTA meetings with caution and trepidation. The focus is usually on academics, poor performance in exams, home work, assignments and project work. It‚s blame game time with suggestions and advice passed back and forth. New promises are made to subject children to more rigorous learning regimens, controls and diktats. Not a few parents feel humiliated for being pulled up for their children‚s poor performance. And all this results in blame gaming at home as well. Therefore it‚s important to change the agenda of PTA meetings. If the importance of life skills learning is communicated to teachers and parents, the narrow focus on academics in PTA meetings will widen to encompass other mental capabilities strengthened by life skills. Over time, parents and teachers will begin to view education holistically. The pressure on academic performance will reduce. But for this to happen both parents and teachers must be exposed to the importance of life skills learning. Exposure of parents and teachers to life skills education will provide a vital link for students to connect with the adult world. It‚s well known that children tend to withdraw into isolation in adolescence. In a recent survey, more than 40 percent of children in class VIII (ages 13-14) admitted that communication with parents reduces drastically and is limited to operational needs. At this crucial time in their lives children and parents need to learn life skills to cope with the pressures of adolescence. If parents persist with authoritative, opinionated and controlling behaviour, children are likely to react with rebellion.
Life skills education ‚ for children, teachers and parents ‚ is necessary to nurture a more capable and responsible new generation. This issue will be discussed later.
(Dilip P. Patel is a director of The Activity, a Bangalore-based life skills education centre)