Adolescence

End stigma & support teens’ mental and emotional well-being

By -Reena Chopra, well-known child psychologist and founder of Saar Holistic Wellness, Chandigarh Social stigma and misconceptions about mental health prevent many parents and teenage children from seeking professional advice. In this essay, I focus on adolescent mental health and how parents can support their children’s emotional well-being. Adolescence is characterized by dramatic physical, emotional, and social changes, which are both exciting and challenging. For many children, navigating these roller coaster changes are emotionally demanding and draining. It’s an important parental duty to support children during this turbulent phase. However, there is lack of awareness and knowledge about ways and means parents can support teenage children’s mental well-being. Moreover, social stigma and misconceptions about mental health prevent many parents and children from seeking professional advice. In this essay, I focus on adolescent mental health and how parents can support their children’s emotional well-being. Common mental health problems Adolescence is a time when most teens experience heightened emotions, peer pressure, academic stress, and the urge to become independent. While these challenges are normative, sometimes they trigger anxiety, depression, and eating disorders in teenage children. The World Health Organization estimates that 10-20 percent of adolescents globally experience mental health problems. Among them: Anxiety disorders — characterized by excessive worry, fear, and nervousness. Depression — persistent melancholia, hopelessness, and lack of interest in activities. Eating disorders — anorexia or bulimia. Substance abuse — turning to drugs or alcohol to cope with stress. Self-harm — deliberately hurting oneself as a coping mechanism for depression/anxiety. It’s important to remember that mental health problems are not a sign of weakness, but a sign that professional help and support are needed. Mental health stigma Despite growing awareness of mental health issues, teens struggle to talk about their psychological problems. Mental health stigma is defined as “negative or discriminatory attitudes that others may have about mental illness”. This stigma often makes teens feel ashamed and embarrassed to admit they are struggling emotionally, leading them to conceal symptoms and avail professional help. Major reasons why teens avoid discussing mental health include: Fear of being judged or misunderstood. Many teens worry that their friends, family, or peers will view them as weak or broken if they open up about their mental health struggles. Misconceptions about mental health. There is a general belief that mental health illnesses only happen to “other people” or that they should just “rough it out” on their own. Lack of awareness. Teens may not fully understand and/or recognize signs and symptoms of mental illness. Addressing mental health stigma requires open conversations and education. By normalizing discussions about mental health, parents can change children’s mindsets. Warning signs and symptoms It’s difficult for teens to recognise mental health problems in themselves. They believe it’s normal to experience mood swings, stress, and sadness during adolescence. Therefore, it’s important for parents to keenly observe their children’s behaviour. Some warning signs: Persistent sadness or hopelessness. Feeling down most of the time, even when there’s no clear reason. Withdrawal from friends and…

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Financial literacy primer for teens

Understanding how to manage money prudently enables adolescents not only to navigate the present but also equips them for long-term success Adolescence is a time of significant change and growth, when children transition from childhood to young adults and prepare for the future. Among the many skills they need to develop to navigate the adult world, is financial literacy. Understanding how to manage money prudently enables adolescents not only to navigate the present but also equips them for long-term success. Here are some important money management nostrums teens should familiarise themselves with: Understand the basics Financial literacy begins with understanding the basics of money management. This includes knowing how to earn, save, spend, and invest. Teens should start by familiarizing themselves with concepts such as income, expenditure, budgeting, and saving — the foundational concepts of financial literacy. Income. This is the money you earn, whether it’s from a part-time job, pocket money, allowance, or gifts. Understanding where your money comes from is the first step in managing it effectively. Expenses. These are the things you spend money on. Expenses can be fixed (such as a monthly subscription, house rent) or variable (shopping, dining out with friends). Tracking your expenses helps you understand what items you are spending your money on. Budgeting. A budget is a plan for how you’ll spend and save your income. It enables you to live within your means and set aside some income for future needs. Saving. Saving is about putting money aside for future use. It’s important to save for emergencies and future goals such as funding college education, a car, or even purchasing a home. Create a budget Budgeting is a skill every teen should learn. Here’s a five-step guide to create a monthly budget: List your income. List the money you receive at regular intervals. It could come from a part-time job, by way of pocket money from parents, or any other source. List your expenses. Write down everything you spend money on. This includes necessities such as snacks and transportation, as well as discretionary spending (shopping, entertainment). Categorise your expenses. Group your expenses into categories such as needs (essentials such as food and clothing) and discretionary (non-essential expenditure such as dining out and entertainment). Allocate your income. Decide how much you want to spend in each category. Ensure you provide for needs first, and then allocate money for wants and savings. Track your spending. Keep track of your spending through the month to ensure you’re sticking to the budget. Monitor and adjust the budget if you are overspending and/or have to spend on an emergency. Importance of saving It’s important for teens to develop the habit of saving regularly, even if it’s just a small amount. Here are some tips to start saving: Set a specific savings goal which will motivate you to save. It could be for something such as buying a new phone, or long-term like saving for college expenses. Categorise savings as a fixed expense. Decide on the percentage…

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Teen child daughter studying remote virtual class on laptop with father at home.

Teen steps: Navigating career options

A practical ten-point guide to enable secondary school leavers to navigate the process of making informed career choices With an abundance of career options available in the post-liberalisation Indian economy, it’s unsurprising that many school-leavers are overwhelmed, confused and uncertain about where to begin. Social pressure to make the ‘right’ career choice is intense, leading to anxiety and indecision. Therefore, it’s important to empower adolescents to identify their interests and aspirations, and guide, support and encourage them to choose aptitudinally suitable and rewarding career paths. With right guidance, teens can navigate this important decision with confidence and clarity. Here’s a practical ten-point guide to enable secondary school leavers to navigate the process of making informed career choices: 1. Self-assessment. Encourage teens to introspect, explore and identify their interests and strengths. They could start by reflecting on the academic subjects they enjoy in school, co-curricular activities they find engaging, and what values are important to them. Self-assessment tools such as personality/ aptitude and psychometric tests provide valuable insights into potential career paths that align with aptitudes. 2. Research. Urge school-leavers to research careers, industries and professions using the internet, books and informational interviews. Several websites, blogs, and career e-platforms provide comprehensive information about different careers, including job roles, educational requirements, and average remuneration. Encourage them to make notes and compile a list of careers that interest them. 3. Volunteering and internship opportunities. Emphasize the importance of acquiring hands-on experience through volunteering and internships in careers that interest them. Whether it’s volunteering at a local animal shelter or interning with a marketing agency, practical experiences provide invaluable insights into different career paths and opportunities to develop relevant skills and build professional networks. 4. Talk to professionals. Encourage teens to connect with professionals working in careers they’ve shortlisted. Informative interviews and job shadowing experiences allow them to ask questions, observe professionals in action, and acquire firsthand insights into the every day realities of different careers. Suggest they prepare a list of questions beforehand and follow up with a thank-you note afterward to express gratitude for the opportunity. 5. Consider personality type. Educate them that their personality type can significantly influence their career choices. For instance, introvert individuals may thrive in careers that allow for independent work, such as writing or computer programming, while extroverts may prefer jobs that involve interaction with others, e.g. sales or teaching. Encourage them to assess their personality type and preferences when exploring career options. 6. Explore non-traditional career paths. Advise teens to think outside the box and explore non-traditional career paths. With the dawn of the AI age and the gig economy, there are a plethora of opportunities in fields such as freelance writing, digital marketing, and apps development. Encourage them to explore their interests and chart ways and means to transform them into viable career options. 7. Take advantage of school resources. Remind teens to utilise resources provided in school, such as career counselling services, workshops, and career fairs. Participation provides valuable opportunities to learn about different…

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Educating teens about online dating dangers & safety

Dr. Priyanka G. Halwasiya, a child psychologist at Sir Ganga Ram Hospital, Delhi, shares guidelines for parents to educate adolescent children about online dating safety and dangers The advent of the internet, social media and dating apps has changed the way people meet and interact. Especially for tech-savvy adolescents, the online world has become the go-to place to meet and romance. But the worldwide web is not without its dangers and traps. Cyber bullying, online sexual abuse, impersonation, identity theft, and financial scams among other dangers, lurk online. It’s the duty of parents to prepare and educate children about online safety. Dr. Priyanka G. Halwasiya, a child psychologist at Sir Ganga Ram Hospital, Delhi, and co-founder of Ehsaas, an association of school counselors and psychologists, shares guidelines for parents to educate adolescent children about online dating safety and dangers. Share limited personal information online. The world of social media has its share of fake accounts. Educate teenage children against blindly believing claims of strangers. Teach them that they should never share personal information and photos, never send their bank information, usernames, or passwords to anyone they’ve met online. Also to never send money for any reason, even if the person claims it’s an emergency. Moreover, if your teen decides to meet an online ‘stranger’ pretending to be a friend in the physical world, ensure you are informed of the meeting time and venue, and that you/a trusted adult is present at the date venue. Real vs. online. When teenagers meet and interact online, the social and non-verbal cues of real world conversations are missing. Therefore it’s difficult to establish relationships of love and trust. Explain to children the difference between real vs. screen and that romantic relationships are built on in-person interactions involving mutual trust and respect. Set privacy settings. It’s important that children keep personal information such as their location, address and where they attend school or college, private. Teach them to use the right privacy settings across all their social media accounts and turn off location services, so they can control information that’s available for everyone. Dangers of sexting. Discuss with teens — who are in a vulnerable phase of their lives and experiencing sexual awakening — the dangers of ‘sexting’ i.e, using the phone, computer, or camera to take or send sex-related text messages or images, usually selfies. Warn them about different ways their texts, pictures and videos can be misused by sexual predators. In the wrong hands, a sext can perpetuate bullying, emotional abuse, revenge porn, harassment, embarrassment, low self-esteem, and depression. Discuss topics such as sex, intimacy, etc. Teens tend to seek validation online. So when it comes to dating, they may do or say inappropriate things to gain acceptance of the online friend. To ensure they make safer choices, talk to them about subjects such as trust, sex and intimacy. This will ensure they are well-informed and not led into believing something that isn’t true. Encourage open communication with children. Adolescence is a time…

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Useful exam writing strategies

Bhavna Singh With the CISCE and CBSE class X and XII board exams set to begin on February 21, children (and parents) are burning the proverbial midnight oil swotting for the all-important boards. But it’s not just pre-exam jitters that stress out children. In exam season all children experience anxiety and nervousness. More specifically in the exam hall while answering the question paper, pressure and performance anxiety can overwhelm children resulting in blank-outs prompting them to skip important questions. Here are some exam paper writing strategies to enable senior students to give their best. Use the opening time well Use the first few minutes to read through the entire question paper and make a quick mental plan to complete the paper on time. The CBSE board provides an additional 15 minutes for students writing the class X and XII exams for reading through the question paper. Use this time judiciously to read the whole paper. Set your priorities Select questions which you are confident about answering well. There’s no mandate by exam boards to write answers in the same order as in the question paper. By writing your best answers first, you will impress the examiner. It will also give you confidence while answering the remaining questions. Write brief, to-the-point answers Read and dissect the questions carefully, and limit your answer to the requirement of the question. Avoid repetition and providing unnecessary information. Write your answers left justified. Choose questions wisely Usually, some questions in an exam paper are provided with internal choice. The student has the freedom to select preferred questions. Think and select the questions that will get you the best marks. Attempt all questions The CBSE/CISCE/state boards don’t do negative marking for wrong answers. So don’t be afraid to answer all the questions, even those you are confused about as you have nothing to lose. If you don’t know the exact answer, write something relevant/related to it so you get some marks for that answer. Don’t decorate the answer sheet Many students have a habit of writing their answer sheet in a colourful manner by using blue, green and black coloured pointers or markers for headings and underlining each one of them. This is not necessary and can distract the examiner. Space out each word properly Ensure your words are properly spaced out in the answer paper. Don’t squeeze in ten or more words in a line. Examiners find it difficult to read overlapped words. This may get you low marks. Your exam paper should be neat and clean. Write clearly and legibly so that there is no difficulty in reading and understanding answers. Good handwriting goes a long way in creating a favourable impression on examiners. (Bhavna Singh is a Ghaziabad-based IELTS (International English Language Testing System) trainer, emcee and media anchor)

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10 reasons why children should learn debating skills

Encouraging children especially teenagers to learn and polish their debating skills has become one of the 21st century skillset tick boxes Within the country’s most progressive schools and colleges, debate is emerging as a popular co-curricular activity to develop children’s reasoning, argumentative, persuasive, conflict resolution and leadership skills. For millennial parents who value the skills of communication and leadership, encouraging children especially teenagers to learn and polish their debating skills has become one of the 21st century skillset tick boxes. There’s no dearth of research studies highlighting the academic, cognitive and skilling benefits of debate. According to a recent research study conducted by the University of Bedfordshire, UK, and the English-Speaking Union, learning to debate can improve children’s SAT (Scholastic Aptitude Test) scores by six-19 percent in all subjects. Moreover, teachers of secondary school students who participated in the London Debate Challenge reported that competitive debates helped “develop students’ skills in gathering evidence and structuring and summing up arguments, with considerable ‘knock-on’ benefits for their written work”. Aarav Sridharan, a class X student of the Shiv Nadar School, Gurgaon, who won the Best Speaker Award in the prestigious JTM Gibson Debate held recently at the top-ranked Mayo College, Ajmer, says participating in debates has hugely boosted his self-confidence and developed his “research, presentation and critical thinking skills”. “In an increasingly complex and competitive world, communication, presentation and critical thinking skills are more valued than exam scores which merely display ability to memorise and learn by rote. Participating in debates has improved my communication, research, thinking, presentation and most importantly persuasion skills,” says Sridharan. Sridharan advances 10 reasons why adolescents need to be encouraged to develop debating skills: It teaches children to polish their speech and language to become more focused, clear and precise. It instills a sense of discipline and order, encouraging them to organise their ideas logically and succinctly for maximum effectiveness. Debating encourages the reading habit and research skills, enabling acquisition of new knowledge. It increases self-confidence and self-esteem. All professions require excellent communication, presentation and persuasion skills. Debating empowers children with these skills. It encourages children to become outgoing, sociable and develop into well-rounded individuals. It improves students’ academic scores, increases student engagement with classroom subjects, and enhances participants’ cultural awareness and aspirations for higher education. Debating also opens up opportunities for careers in mass communication, journalism, content writing, law and sales. In debate, opponents respect each other and make an earnest attempt to listen and understand contrary opinions. This teaches children to gracefully accept conflicting points of view and disagree politely. The ability to think critically, analyse, articulate, justify and defend personal points of view will prepare children to manage contrary opinions in all spheres of life and resolve them effectively. (Dr. Mazher Ali is a well-known Hyderabad-based psychiatrist with over 24 years of clinical practice)

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Help your teen break free from digital devices addiction

DR. MAZHER ALI Enabling and empowering adolescents to break free from device addiction requires patience, understanding, and active involvement of parents The percentage of adolescents glued to digital devices including smartphones, computer tablets, and laptops, is rising continuously. Digital device addiction aka screen addiction or digital addiction, is characterised by excessive and compulsive use of electronic devices, to the detriment of other activities. It manifests in several forms, including social media, gaming, and internet addiction. Here are some tell-tale signs that your teen is struggling with device addiction: Excessive screen time. Spends excessive time on digital devices, often at the expense of other important activities such as schoolwork, physical exercise, or face-to-face social interactions. Withdrawal symptoms. Displays symptoms such as irritability, anxiety, and restlessness when denied access to digital devices. Neglects responsibilities. Fails/slacks in completing school assignments, chores, or other obligations due to device usage. Loss of interest. Loses interest in activities that were once enjoyable, as the digital world becomes all-encompassing. Social isolation. Prefers online interaction over face-to-face communication, leading to social isolation. Physical and emotional health problems. Digital addiction can cause eyestrain, poor posture, and sleep disturbances, as well as emotional problems such as depression and anxiety. It’s imperative for parents to recognise signs of device addiction and follow up with practical strategies to wean teens off digital devices. Here are some effective suggestions. Open communication and education. The foundation of any effort to wean teens off device addiction is open and non-judgmental communication. Encourage them to talk about their device dependence and voice their struggles. Simultaneously, educate them about the potential risks and consequences of excessive screen time. Share statistics and studies that highlight the physical and psychological effects of digital addiction. Understanding the why behind need for moderation is a powerful motivator. Set clear boundaries. Establish clear and consistent rules for usage of digital devices. These rules should apply to screen time and content. For instance, set a daily limit on the number of hours your teen can use devices. You can also establish device-free zones and times, such as during meals or in the hour leading to bedtime. Lead by example. Children and teenagers model their behaviour after the adults in their lives. If they see you constantly glued to digital devices, it will be challenging to persuade them to limit their own screen time. Practice what you preach by setting a good example of balanced device usage. This will not only help your teen but also benefit the entire family. Encourage alternative activities. Teens turn to digital devices because they offer instant gratification and entertainment. Encourage them to explore and engage in other enjoyable alternative activities. These include sports, reading, art, volunteer work. The goal is to suggest appealing alternatives to screen watching. Create a device-free home environment. Designate specific areas of the home as digital device-free zones. These could include the dining room, bedrooms, or living room. In these spaces, digital devices should be proscribed, creating opportunities for face-to-face communication and other activities.…

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Teenage eating disorders

Vasanthi Senthilvel Though eating disorders manifest by way of physical symptoms, they are rooted in mental health issues In the age of adjudicatory social media, teens are more conscious about their physical attributes than ever before. But obsession with body image is generating dangerous eating disorders. While some image conscious teens are indulging in bouts of binge eating followed by starvation, others are resorting to fad diets to meet media and peer expectations of physical form. However, though eating disorders manifest by way of physical symptoms, they are rooted in mental health issues. Eating disorders are caused by complex mental health problems characterised by abnormal and violent fluctuation in dietary habits and behaviour. NB: they can severely damage the physical health and social interactions of teenage children. A 2018 study published in the Indian J Psychiatry journal says that 26.06 percent of adolescents are prone to eating disorders because of “abnormal eating attitudes”. Similar studies estimate that 25-35 percent of teenage children in India suffer eating disorders. Therefore, it’s critically important for Indian parents to identify common eating disorders. Anorexia Nervosa This is the most common disorder wherein teens follow a strict diet and/or starve themselves because of fear of weight gain. They are hyper sensitive to body shaming, which may drive them to intense physical workouts. Symptoms: • Refusal to dine with family members • Tendency to skip meals • Girl children’s menstrual periods become irregular • Weight loss — body weight is low in proportion to height • Hyper-consciousness about smallest weight gain or change in clothing size • Excessive exercise Bulimia Nervosa Teens suffering bulimia nervosa indulge in bouts of binge eating, followed with induced purging by way of vomiting, laxatives and enema usage. They may also indulge in binge eating followed by fasting or skipping meals. Patients lose weight rapidly. Among girl children menstrual cycles becomes irregular. Symptoms: • Dash to the toilet shortly after meals • Over-eating but losing weight • Storage of laxatives or similar medicines in bedroom and cupboards • Insistence on fasting and/or skipping meals Binge Eating This disorder is characterised by excessive food consumption during and between meals. Patients tend to eat even when they’re not hungry. This condition prompts obesity and other health ailments. Binge eaters tend to eat very fast and often alone. Binging is followed by feelings of guilt and shame. But unlike in bulimia, there is no purging behaviour. Symptoms: • Frequent demands for junk food • Over-eating and increase in quantity of food consumed • Steady weight gain Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) Teens suffering this disorder avoid some foods due to their colour, flavour, texture, taste etc. They may sometimes avoid a complete food group, such as carbohydrates or fats. This leads to weight loss and vitamins deficiency. Symptoms: • Very choosy about food • Aversion to common family meals • Avoids certain foods because of a particular ingredient, such as butter or ghee. Fad diets Following trendy fads such as the keto or other…

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Helping teens cope with peer pressure

It’s critically important for parents to provide emotional support and guidance to enable children to ride through the stormy adolescence period and blossom into confident young adults Adolescence is a time of intense physical, psychological and emotional changes. During the teen years, children experience emotional highs and lows and are particularly vulnerable to peer pressure as they struggle to establish their independence. Therefore, it’s critically important for parents to provide emotional support and guidance to enable children to ride through this stormy period and blossom into confident young adults. Here are three common challenges that confront parents of adolescents and my advice to manage them: 1. Challenge of ‘fitting in’ and meeting parental/peer expectations Teenagers experience great difficulty trying to ‘fit in’ with a peer/social group and meeting expectations of society and now ubiquitous social media. Parents, teachers and friends have different expectations of them and they get stressed trying to accommodate them. Parents should encourage positive peer pressure to study well, dress neatly, and behave courteously, and discourage negative peer influence such as pressure to behave aggressively and experiment with alcohol/drugs. Parents can empower children to cope with peer pressure and build positive self-image. Some suggestions: • Share stories of yourself or others who resisted peer pressure and as a result succeeded in their vocations and life. • Highlight dangers of alcohol consumption and drugs abuse. Emphasise that the courage to say ‘no’ to peers is laudable. • Encourage teens to develop positive self-image and confidence by praising their unique talents and skills. • When you observe your teen doing the right thing, voice your appreciation. Emphasise that people who stand their ground are admired for their resolve and determination. • Reflect whether as a parent you are also trying to ‘fit in’ with your peer group. If children observe that parents are going out of their way to keep up with the Joneses and meet society’s expectations, they will follow suit. Role model self-confidence and the resolve to make independent decisions. 2. Group facilitation effect Adolescents are susceptible to the group facilitation effect wherein everyone in the peer group is focused on common/shared tasks and goals, such as scoring good marks, impressing the opposite sex, owning the same things such as cycle, bike, play station, etc, playing in a sports team, hanging out in one club and/or restaurant. Some suggestions for parents to help teens to resist group facilitation peer pressure: • Set mutually agreed rules pertaining to socialisation with friends, eating out and parties, and spending money. Once the rules are finalised, enforce them firmly. • Keep yourself informed about your child’s social life and her friends. This will enable you to prohibit social gatherings where substance abuse is likely. • Constantly reassure your teen of her physical attributes, skills and talents. Self-confidence is critical for teens to obviate social anxiety. • Explain that not agreeing to engage in some activities with friends doesn’t mean they are inferior. It’s just that their interests differ. 3. Group inhibition…

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Skincare for teens

Though acne isn’t a health risk, it dents the self-image and confidence of adolescents for whom looking good is important, writes Nishiha David The adolescence years are a period of rapid physical and intense emotional change. During this period when children are struggling to cope with bodily and emotional transformation, they are often plagued by a typically teenage skincare problem — acne. Almost all teens get acne, with pimples appearing on face and neck. Acne is caused by an oily substance, sebum, which clogs skin pores. Though acne isn’t a health risk, it dents the self-image and confidence of adolescents for whom looking good is important. With the Internet and social media replete with skincare advice — usually slapdash and unprofessional — in an interview with ParentsWorld, Dr. Shivangi Panda, a Coimbatore-based dermatologist, advises caution and offers advice on ways to prevent and control acne by following a simple skincare regimen. Follow a skincare routine. The routine should include using a gentle cleanser, moisturiser and sunscreen lotion. Avoid elaborate skincare routines. Use sunscreen lotion even indoors. You could also install terminals with blue light filters to protect skin from harmful rays emitted by digital gadgets. When outdoors and in direct contact with the sun, apply sunscreen every two hours. Also, use umbrellas, scarves and sunglasses to protect skin from scorching sunlight. The body naturally rejuvenates new skin every few weeks which removes suntan. Therefore avoid using face scrubs to exfoliate skin. Don’t pop or burst pimples, this may make your acne worse. Check and verify the use and side effects of natural skin products. They may not always be good for the skin. Many youtube influencers tout lemon juice as a panacea for all skincare troubles. But teenagers should avoid using lemon juice as it causes skin allergies and depletes the natural sebum produced by the skin. Turmeric has been used by Indians for centuries to lighten skin. But it causes problems for teens with sensitive skin types. Dermatitis i.e, skin irritation/rash is caused predominantly by turmeric. Therefore the turmeric beauty routine which works for most people might not work for all. Social media platforms are flooded with skincare products such as retinol and vitamin C serums. However, adolescents should avoid vitamin C serums and retinols which have too many “active ingredients” that irritate the skin. Avoid using a skin toner as it has alcoholic content harmful for teens with dry and sensitive skin. Traditional curd, besan powder and homemade ubtan packs may not suit every skin type. Do a skin patch test before using any face pack — homemade or commercial. Excessive consumption of dairy products is unhealthy for the skin. Balance by consuming eggs and yogurt.

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Help your teen beat school morning blues!

Here are five tried and tested steps parents can take to help teenage children cope with the morning school rush and develop steady, healthy school routines, writes Anitha Bennett With in-person school having restarted for secondary students countrywide after the unprecedented 64-weeks pandemic lockdown of education institutions, numerous adolescents are experiencing difficulty transitioning from online to in-person classes. For almost 16 months, teenage children have become accustomed to learn-from-home schedules. Now, they need to get back to the routine of packing school bags, waking up early, taking the school bus, completing homework assignments, etc. Here are five tried and tested steps parents can take to help teenage children cope with the morning school rush and develop steady, healthy school routines and discipline that will hold them in good stead throughout their lives. Pack/plan for the day ahead. This is a no-brainer, but not for adolescents. Many are used to completing tasks at the last-minute. A few words of advice from parents the previous night will encourage your teenage child to get ready for the next school day — uniform, school bag, textbooks, assignments, etc. You could also plan the snack/lunch box menu. However encourage her to pack her own snack/lunch box. Keep duplicates. Teenage children, who are undergoing umpteen physical and psychological changes, tend to be unorganised and indecisive. Nagging them to complete chores won’t help. Set an example by organising your tasks well. Keep extra house/vehicle keys, water bottles, snack boxes and stationery. Set up a docking station for these last-minute on-the-go articles in a basket near the door. Simplify breakfast. Elaborate meals may drain your energy at the beginning of the day and eat into precious time as well. Go for quick and healthy meals such as poha, idlis, dosas, muesli, or cornflakes with fruit and nuts. A simple way to add nutrients to the all-important breakfast meal is to include fruit, dry fruits, nuts and milk. Stress the importance of the first meal of the day to your teen, and insist on her breakfasting every day. Set the right tone. If children see you lounging in nightwear when they are rushing to school, it may demotivate them. Get dressed before the children wake up. And set the mood for the morning by playing their favourite music, preferably classical music. Keep shadow deadlines. It’s good to set shadow deadlines for important tasks. If the school bus is arriving at 8:00 a.m, set 7:30 as the shadow deadline. This is advisable as it will give her enough time to sort out last-minute goof-ups.

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Understanding teenage Eating Disorders

Adolescents are especially susceptible to eating disorders with the starting point usually being growing obsession with physical beauty, body weight and shape, writes Aruna Raghuram “I am forever engaged in a silent battle in my head over whether or not to lift the fork to my mouth, and when I talk myself into doing so, I taste only shame. I have an eating disorder.” — Jena Morrow, American author and activist. Eating disorders are caused by complex mental health problems and are characterised by abnormal and extreme disruptions in eating habits and behaviour, which can severely damage healthcare and social interactions. Adolescents are especially susceptible to eating disorders with the starting point usually being growing obsession with physical beauty, body weight and shape. Lady Diana, the Princess of Wales, famously suffered from the anorexia bulimic syndrome — an eating disorder. American singer, song-writer and actor Demi Lovato was also diagnosed with an eating disorder and would alternate between starving, over-eating and forcing herself to vomit. Now healed, she is a strong advocate of adolescent and young women developing positive body images. Eating disorders are more common among adolescent girl children and young women. According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP), 10 percent of young women in the US suffer from eating disorders. Dr. Sanjay Chugh, a Delhi-based senior consultant psychiatrist, believes that eating disorders affect 25-40 percent of adolescent girls and 20 percent of teenaged male children in India. “Most eating disorders are under-reported and under-researched in India because of the stigma surrounding it. Adolescents are especially vulnerable because the teen years are a period of intense physical, psychological and emotional change and children experience swings of emotional turmoil, high and low,” says Dr. Chugh. Dr. Prerna Kohli, a Gurugram-based clinical psychologist and founder of MindTribe.in, concurs. “There has been a significant increase — from 1.7 to 2.8 percent — in eating disorders during the years 1990 to 2016, and that’s probably an under-estimate. Generally, they are more common in girl children, but adolescent male children and young men who exercise excessively and follow unhealthy diets are also susceptible,” says Dr. Kohli. Following the nationwide Covid-19 pandemic outbreak, increased anxiety about health and well-being, restrictions on personal mobility and social interaction, excessive digital/social media usage, and sedentary lifestyles, have prompted a new surge in eating disorders among adolescents worldwide. For instance, an April 2021 study of the US-based Epic Health Research Network has found a 25 percent rise in hospital admissions related to eating disorders in the 12-18 age group during the pandemic. COMMON EATING DISORDERS The three common types of eating disorders are: Anorexia Nervosa. This is the most common disorder with a high mortality rate. Symptoms include intense anxiety and fear of putting on weight and refusal to eat. Self-starvation is accompanied by intensive exercise and patients becoming severely underweight. Many anorexic teen girl children may also stop menstruating. This leads to osteopenia or early bone loss. Anorexia also causes heart damage, kidney diseases…

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Are you emotionally dependent on your teenager?

Sometimes parents inadvertently cross the line and start relying heavily on a teenage child as an emotional prop, ego booster, venting medium and/or confidante with potentially devastating repercussions for the child – Punita Malhotra It’s not unusual for parents to call on children especially adolescents, in times of family crises to pitch in and share household chores and/or assume additional responsibilities. It’s also acceptable for parents to occasionally unburden themselves and share their troubles with adolescent children. But sometimes parents can inadvertently cross the line and start relying too heavily on a teenage child as an emotional prop, ego booster, venting medium and/or confidante with potentially devastating repercussions for the child. Role reversal can backfire Some children naturally mature early, while others are pushed into early adulthood by home circumstances. The well-known Hungarian-American psychiatrist Dr. Ivan Boszormenyi-Nagy (1920-2007) describes this process as ‘parentification,’ in which adults unwittingly turn children into functional ‘elders’ by entrusting them with more than their share of age-inappropriate responsibilities. Psychologists differentiate between ‘instrumental parentification’ that involves children running errands to sup port household activities and ‘emotional parentification’ where the child becomes the emotional caretaker. In the latter case, parents offload their problems onto a child, unconsciously giving the message that emotional unburdening helps her feel better. In such cases the burden of a parent’s unhappiness shifts to the child. Some parents also tend to rope in children to mediate to solve their marital conflicts while some seek comfort in children during emotional breakdowns. Dr. Lisa M. Hooper, researcher and expert on parentification at the University of Northern Iowa, cautions that “children should not be serving the intimate needs of a parent, or placed in the role of secrets keeper.” According to Hooper, children are not equipped to handle heavily loaded adult emotional situations. In the short term, ‘parentified’ children tend to develop stress-related illnesses, eating disorders, and mental health problems. The impact is more serious in the long run. In the book, Lost Childhoods: The Plight of the Parentified Child by Gregory J. Jurkovic, the author explains how children pushed into role reversal are likely to experience anger, trust and relationship issues. If pushed prematurely out of childhood, they may harbour feelings of isolation from siblings/peers and even develop deep-seated resentment towards parents. Aaron Anderson, director of The Marriage and Family Clinic in Denver (USA), adds that an inverted relationship (where the parent does not take a lead position) causes emotional stunting in children. Observing a parent struggling with emotional maturity, prompts children to become dependent on others for their own stability, happiness and healing, he says. Boundaries work best Psychologists make the following suggestions for parents to avoid child parentification: Assign children age-appropriate responsibilities. Identify chores which are suitable for young children such as putting away their toys, cleaning their room, making their beds, feeding pets and watering plants. Older children can be entrusted with clearing the table, washing the dishes, doing the laundry or babysitting younger siblings. It is important to ensure that children are…

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How to keep adolescents’ social networks strong in a disrupted world

– Oluwasevi Dolapo Somefun is postdoctoral fellow & Marisa Casale, extraordinary professor, University of the Western Cape, Australia People often depend on companionship and support from others to cope with the stresses of daily life. Social networks and support are linked to better mental and physical wellbeing. These networks are particularly important in adolescence — the period between childhood and adulthood. This is when peers become an important part of life and have greater impact, while parental supervision usually decreases. But Covid-19 disrupted this social interaction. Lockdowns, school closures, social distancing and self-isolation have kept young people apart. The need to maintain physical distance conflicts with adolescents’ natural desire to connect with friends and with other important people in their lives. This disconnection may deepen the loneliness that’s been growing among young people in Africa and beyond. It can also deprive young people of various kinds of support. These include tangible support with items such as food or medicines, emotional support and guidance, and social protection provided by schools. Social distancing measures affect people differently. But it is especially important to focus on adolescents because this is a life stage characterised by anxiety and uncertainty. They struggle more with the absence of structure and disruption in their usual routine. Over the years we’ve done research looking at the role of social support for adolescent development and mental outcomes. We gained insights into the stress-buffering effects of social networks among adolescents. For example, we’ve found that adolescents who perceived they had a high degree of social support in their communities appeared to be more resilient than their peers. Having a social support system in place also had a positive impact on their mental health. Lockdown-associated risks The pandemic has changed the way people of all ages interact and socialise. This is likely to have lasting effects. The ‘social effects’ of Covid-19 come with particular risks for young people’s mental health. Recent research has highlighted how loneliness and disease containment efforts among adolescents might lead to post-traumatic stress and mental health problems — even in later years. Specific groups of young people are especially vulnerable. These include adolescents who are exposed to domestic violence in their homes. So are learners who depend on the protection they get at school. Then there are adolescents with pre-existing mental health conditions, socialisation or learning difficulties, whose counselling and support systems may have been interrupted. The family environment is critical for adolescents, especially now when many young people are likely to be confined to their homes more than usual. But this is a stressful time for caregivers and adults too. It may be hard for them to be empathetic, listen to adolescents and pick up worrying changes in behaviour. But help is available. One such programme is the Parenting for Lifelong Health project. The programme helps to improve parenting skills by building social support for parents, and reducing parental stress. This programme has proven to be effective and is now exploring ways to extend its reach…

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Protecting children’s eyes during online learning

Secondary school students (classes IX-XII) are especially vulnerable to eye strain and fatigue as the duration of online classes is longer because of board exams preparation and the need to use computers after-school for projects and assignments – Archana N. With most state governments hesitant to reopen schools because of rising Covid-19 infections, e-learning and online classes are set to continue for the foreseeable future. Though prolonged exposure to digital screens is adversely affecting the eye health of children of all age groups, secondary school students (classes IX-XII) are especially vulnerable as the duration of online classes is longer because of board exams preparation, and the need to use computers after-school for projects and assignments. Moreover adolescents tend to spend additional time on social media. This has resulted in an increasing number of adolescents complaining of eye strain, fatigue, and headaches. According to Bengaluru-based ophthalmologist Dr. B.V. Ashalata, eye strain and fatigue can be prevented by following simple digital device usage protocols. “It’s advisable to keep the computer screen at a distance of at least 12 inches or a foot away from the eyes. This is necessary because whenever a digital device is on, electromagnetic radiation is generated, which affects the eyes and body. Exposure to electromagnetic radiation causes eye strain, headaches, giddiness, and hurts concentration,” says Dr. Ashalata Prolonged on-screen time also causes eye muscle problems such as myopia, hypermetropia, premature presbyopia and computer vision syndrome, which manifests in the form of blurred vision, double vision, red eyes, headaches and eye irritation. “Myopia aka nearsightedness, is a common condition in children who use digital gadgets for long periods of time,” she says. Dr. Ashalata’s advice to ameliorate eye strain during online classes: Ask your teen to place an elbow on the table and then rest her head on that hand. From this position, lift the elbow and touch the screen; that is now the working distance she should maintain from the terminal. Follow the 20-20-20 to rule out 20-20 vision. Every 20 minutes look away from the screen at objects/sights 20 feet away for 20 seconds. Taking mini-breaks from screen exposure is more beneficial that using protective screens and glasses to reduce eye strain. Encourage children to play outdoor games. Headaches, excessive blinking, eye rubbing, and fatigue are warning signs of vision problems. Dry eyes are also a symptom of poor ocular health. When children stare at a screen, the blinking rate reduces to 5-10 per minute. This can lead to dry eyes. Remind children to blink often. Visit your ophthalmologist at least once a year for a check-up. This has become more important now because of children spending more time on screen. Try some yoga for the eyes Naveen Sharma, co-founder, Ashmayu Yoga, Bengaluru, shares some yoga techniques to strengthen eye muscles, eyesight and relieve stress. Before starting these exercises, splash eyes with cold water a few times. When finishing the exercises prescribed below, lie down in shavasana for 5-7 minutes, focusing on breathing. Breathe in and out…

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Enabling teens to manage lockdown depression

The teen years are a period of intense physical, psychological and emotional changes and adolescents experience intense emotional turmoil, highs and lows – Mini P. and Arundhati Nath The Covid-19 pandemic induced national and state lockdowns, which mandate social isolation, physical distancing and stay-at-home 24×7, are playing havoc with the mental health of children, adolescents and adults. According to a recent study titled ‘The Psychological Impact of Quarantine and How to Reduce it’ published in the globally respected medical journal Lancet (March 2020), an assessment of quarantine and isolation in precedent pandemics, indicates high prevalence of “emotional disturbance, depression, stress, low mood, irritability, insomnia, post-traumatic stress symptoms, anger and emotional exhaustion,” in people of all age groups. But adolescents are especially vulnerable. The teen years are a period of intense physical, psychological and emotional changes and children experience swings of emotional turmoil, high and low. A recent study titled ‘Covid-19 Pandemic-related Anxiety in Teenagers’ conducted by the department of psychiatry, Postgraduate Institute of Medical Education and Research, Chandigarh (PIMER), indicates that adolescents tend to experience emotions very intensely. “Having teenagers confined to their homes with 24/7 parental attention/supervision can create intense irritation as they are not used to such situations,” says the study’s lead author Swapnajeet Sahoo. The study cites the case of an 18-year-old girl with no past or family history of mental illness who reported to the PIMER emergency services with symptoms of anxiety. The young woman narrated that she usually spent all day on social media platforms to learn about how the health and livelihoods of people are affected by the Covid-19 pandemic. This daily routine resulted in her experiencing palpitations, breathlessness, sweating, and dryness of the mouth. Even after she began to avoid the news and social media, if she accidentally heard any news related to the pandemic, her anxiety levels would escalate with anxiety episodes increasing to 3-4 times a day. She is now under expert supervision plus medication and supportive psychotherapy. This case is illustrative of the condition of millions of adolescents around the world, who are experiencing prolonged state of physical isolation from friends, teachers, extended family, and community networks. They are reporting increased levels of stress, anxiety and depression. “Social isolation is overwhelming. I can’t believe the flood of negative thoughts I get through the day during the lockdown. It’s frustrating and depressing to not meet with friends, go to college, and most important, to miss my daily tennis practice sessions. To top it all, my parents simply don’t understand that it is not okay to be stuck at home for months. They believe I am overreacting,” laments Divyashri Thapa, a first year engineering student in Pune. A. Chinmayee, clinical psychologist at the PeopleTree Marga, Bangalore, advises adolescents to “consciously engage in unwinding activities to ease tension and stress”. “High levels of stress and anxiety can severely affect the physical, social and emotional health and wellbeing of adolescents. The simple practice of unwinding can release stress and relax and rejuvenate the mind.…

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Is your teen over-exercising?

With intense peer and social media pressure to improve their physiques, teens tend to blindly follow compulsive exercise regimens and crash diets resulting in over-exercise and anorexia/bulimia which cause more harm than good – Sneha Arora Adolescence is a period of intense physical, psychological and emotional changes for teens who experience deep emotional turmoil, highs and lows. A good antidote is physical exercise. It not only prevents lifestyle disorders in adulthood but also contributes to overall mental and physical well-being of teenage children. However with intense peer and social media pressure to improve their physiques, teens tend to blindly follow compulsive exercise regimens and crash diets resulting in over exercising and anorexia/bulimia which cause more harm than good. Therefore it’s important that parents monitor their adolescents’ exercise schedule and diet closely. Recommended exercises The best workouts are aerobics, strength training and flexibility and stretching exercises.  Sports such as swimming, rowing, basketball, running, tennis, and biking are excellent body and stamina-building stress busters.  Body weight exercises such as squats, push ups, pull ups, sit ups and tug of war are also safe ways to strengthen muscles, improve metabolism and increase stamina.  However warm up exercises of 20 minutes followed by dynamic stretches should be done before starting a weight training programme followed by another round of stretching at the end.  Strength/weight training should be limited to three to five times a week on non-consecutive days. A certified trainer will gradually increase the regimen and weights. If teens stress skeletal frames by lifting excess weights they can suffer serious injury.  For teens who play sports, strength training is often included through conditioning drills and other activities. However, prescribed safety gear should always be used. For parents it’s important to emphasise the enjoyment of physical exercise rather than encourage it as a weight reduction goal. This will prevent children from becoming too conscious about their weight which can create body image anxiety and result in over-exercise. Professionally recommended exercise programmes and diets are the best prescription for teens to remain fit and healthy. How much is too much?  The usual recommendation for adolescents is 60 minutes exercise every day, five days a week. Their bodies are still developing and they need sufficient calories to support the rigours of exercise. They also need good doses of protein post-workouts to rebuild muscle tissue.  If you observe mood swings, irritability or unexplained appetite change, you need to reassess your child’s workout regimen.  In case of teens pursuing competitive sports, exercise regimens tend to be longer, and need to be supported with guidance from a qualified coach and sports nutritionist. Over-exercising dangers Not a few teens over-exercise, hoping to build six packs and/or lose weight. In such cases it’s important to explain that over-exercising leads the body to produce cortisol (a stress-inducing hormone) instead of the happy hormone — endorphins. Cortisol prompts mood swings and anxiety and impairs concentration. On the other hand endorphins released through exercise relieve stress,…

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8 ways to discuss suicide with teens

Discussing suicide with teens and children is difficult, but it is something they need to learn about Suicide and self-harm is not an easy subject to discuss. But being able to talk openly about it is beneficial. Discussing it with teens and children may be even more difficult, but it is something they need to learn about. More important, they need to know that they can rely on their parents for sympathy, advice and counsel should they ever experience depression, sadness, or suicidal impulses. Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people in America. The situation isn’t better in India, i.e, Bharat. According to the National Crime Records Bureau, one student commits suicide every hour. It’s hard imagining suicide impacting your family or circle of friends, but it’s quite likely to happen. Don’t rule it out. That’s why a frank and open discussion about suicide prevention may save the life of a loved one. Starting a conversation Before discussing suicide and prevention with a teen, it is important that you have an understanding of the subject yourself. Discussing the warning signs is a major prevention step. These signs include:  Changes in mood. Children experiencing hopelessness, worry, anxiety, anger, worthlessness  Changes in behaviour. Withdrawal from normal activities, changes in sleeping, eating habits, abrupt change of friends circle  Threatening or attempting self-harm. Talking about or wishing for death, researching ways to die, giving away precious possessions, purchasing dangerous weapons  Situational triggers. Death of a loved one, stress, humiliation, a break up, or getting into hot soup trigger suicidal thoughts Risk factors To properly counsel a suicidal teenager, you must first understand the weight of the matter and the risk. Understand that suicide can happen in any family and can be just as likely as other teenage problems such as underage drinking. In fact, the risk is more real when you consider other stressful issues teens may be facing (sexuality, bullying, gender identity, drug abuse, etc). Make a plan It is often helpful to plan out the discussion before initiating it with your teen. Knowing what you want to say can make the transition to an open discussion much easier. However, you don’t have to stick to a rigid outline; your teen will help to guide the conversation. Choose a time to talk Getting teenagers to converse can be an arduous task. That is why timing may affect their willingness to open up. Here are some potential opportunities to start the discussion:  during a car ride;  when you hear or see something about suicide on TV;  when a suicide occurs in your community. Honesty & direction It is okay to admit that suicide can be difficult to discuss. Talking about your feelings on the subject will help your child open up as well. If your teen still has a hard time speaking about it, feel free to ask them direct questions, such as:  “Have any of your friends dealt with suicide?” …

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Balancing teens’ right to privacy & safety

An important duty of parents is to balance the right of teenage children to privacy with responsibility to ensure their safety If there’s one issue which teenage children will fight tooth and nail, it’s their right to privacy — the freedom to spend their leisure time as they wish without nosy parents or siblings prying into their activities. Unfortunately, there are times when adolescents aren’t engaging in activities they should be or they are doing things they shouldn’t be doing. In the past, the privacy issue revolved around whether parents should search children’s rooms or read their diaries. But today, there is the much more complicated issue of how much time children should spend on the Internet, cyber-bullying and the age-appropriateness of the websites they access. Two common mistakes parents make while balancing children’s right to privacy and safety are: • Abandon them by letting go too early (for example, not checking your middle schooler’s social media posts) before they are ready to handle responsibility. • Second, let go too late (for example, insisting on reading all your teen’s texts), which disempowers children by denying them the freedom to use their judgement and discretion. Here are some suggestions to ensure adolescents are given the privacy they deserve. Know your children Observe your child’s behaviour and be honest in your assessment. If she has already demonstrated maturity, then you need not monitor her too closely. Children who have made good decisions in the past are less likely to engage in risky or dangerous online behaviour in the future. But this isn’t an absolute. Children are works-in-progress, so be alert for behaviour that signals that you need to exert greater supervision. On the other hand, if your children have a history of untrustworthiness, you should keep a closer eye on them. Turning a blind eye to their behaviour isn’t just irresponsible, it’s potentially dangerous. For instance, if they are staying out beyond curfew hours with a new group of friends, their plans are sketchy, and exam grades have dropped precipitously, you need to confront your teen directly about her behaviour and investigate illegal drug or alcohol usage. Moreover you may need to follow up by searching her room for signs of substance abuse paraphernalia. Yes, you are invading her privacy but the prime objective is to keep her safe. Letting go over time Few things get a teen riled up faster than the feeling that she’s not being respected as an adult. Involving teenagers in creating an action plan that specifies limits of privacy you’re willing to grant, is a great way to accord respect and indicate your trust. Explain to your teen that greater privacy is something she’ll have to earn and that greater responsibility will lead to more privileges and freedoms. For instance, when your teenager takes the trouble to introduce you to her friends and friends’ parents, you are more likely to allow her to spend more time at friends’ homes. Most teens are very responsive when you respect…

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Help children cope with divorce

While parents going through divorce spend most of their time sorting out their own feelings of hurt, rejection and bitterness, children who bear witness to arguments and recriminations have to suffer their own challenges. Here’s how to help children cope with divorce – K.P. Malini & Indu Surendar Divorce can be heart-breaking for a couple, but it can hit your children even harder. While parents going through divorce spend most of their time sorting out their own feelings of hurt, rejection and bitterness, children who bear witness to arguments and recriminations have to suffer their own challenges. Marital discord at home could interfere with their academic work and social life, especially if they are adolescents who are conscious of their image and standing in society. Although there’s less stigma of divorce these days, children, especially young ones, almost never believe that it is as good an idea as parents who seek it, believe. Children love the family life and invariably feel anxious and insecure when parents break up. In such a circumstance, it’s important to give them time to adjust to the new situation and also perhaps to let-off steam. “First of all, if parents are going through a hard time, the children should be referred to a counsellor who will help them process the situation and react in a mature way. Many a time, children retreat into their shell or become overtly hostile towards one or both parents. They need a professional’s help to understand that because their parents’ relationship is coming apart, it does not diminish their love for them,” says Dr. Sagar Mundada, consultant psychiatrist and psychotherapist, Healthspring, Mumbai, who counsels three-four children every month whose parents are going — or have gone — their separate ways. Male children tend to express their distress overtly through classroom rebellion and social aggression. On the other hand, girl children manage better in the immediate aftermath of their parents’ divorce, but may experience difficulty in forming romantic relationships when they grow older. According to child psychologists and psychiatrists, it’s very difficult for children to really understand the reasons behind a divorce, however much parents may try to explain. Moreover, angry, squabbling parents often vent their anger on children for trivial mistakes. This prompts them to blame themselves for their parents falling out and this could cause great emotional stress. “If the children feel guilty and blame themselves for your troubles, explain to them that they are not to blame for your falling out. Assure them that both parents will continue to love them unconditionally, if not more than before,” advises Dr. Mundada. “My kids were terrified when my husband and I decided on a trial separation. They literally withdrew from us and kept each other company. They feared that our separation would separate them. They also dreaded the prospect of our being short of money after daddy left,” recalls Preethi Singh*, a divorced mother of two pre-teens. Here are some suggestions offered by Dr. Mundada to make divorce less painful…

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Speed reading techniques

To help students navigate bulky tomes, educationists and psychologists are increasingly advocating speed reading techniques for children to improve their concentration and recall capabilities – Jayalakshmi Vaidyanathan The secondary school years are stressful for adolescents as they prepare for school-leaving board exams and college entrance exams. They are swamped with academic and extra-curricular reading material and under pressure to excel in exams. To help students navigate bulky tomes, educationists and psychologists are increasingly advocating speed reading techniques for children to improve their concentration and recall capabilities. Speed reading is the ability/technique to zip through reading material by focussing on key phrases and sentences. “Great leaders are great readers. In the knowledge-intensive 21st century where numerous tasks are competing for their time and attention, there is mounting pressure on children to read more in less time. Learning to speed read not only saves time, but also improves students’ concentration and comprehension. Speed reading techniques are easy to grasp and will immensely improve children’s academic and personal lives,” says Sq. Leader (Retd) Jayasimha, director of Hyderabad-based Jayasimha Mind Education Pvt. Ltd (estb. 2006), a company that offers study skills programmes for children and adults. President of the World Memory Sports Council for India, Jayasimha is cited by Guinness World Records for several memory-based skills. According to Jayasimha, when children learn speed reading, they are able to read quickly, can cover the syllabus and absorb important content. “Speed reading techniques develop capability to read in chunks and form pictures in the mind, enabling comprehension. With practice, speed readers read more in less time, zipping past unimportant words and focussing on important sentences and phrases. It helps by reducing texts to critical paragraphs, and words which are visually recognised, to form a pictorial representation of sentences,” explains Jayasimha, adding that one can test reading speed with a timer and test comprehension through prescribed questionnaires. According to Jayasimha, average adults read about 250 words per minute and a ten-year-old child 140 words per minute. But with speed reading, the word count can be increased three-fold. Replace bad reading habits with good For successful speed reading, common bad reading habits need to be shed. Among them: Fixation. Reading one word at a time slows down the reading process. Practise reading in chunks of two or even five words at a time, starting with two words. Regression. Rereading is an unconscious habit developed by many readers. When one reads the same line twice, before completing a paragraph or lesson, this interrupts the mind’s ability to absorb information. To break free of this habit, read like you are watching a movie. Conscious effort to read a complete paragraph without rereading lines increases reading speed. Sub-vocalisation. Repeating words in the head (auditory reassurance) reduces reading speed. Try to read continuously and consciously avoid sub-vocalisation. Speed reading apps Several apps and YouTube videos provide introduction and initiation into speed reading. Among them: • Quick Reader for ios • Focus speed reading for ios • Outread for ios • Spreederios and website…

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Is your teen at risk?

If your adolescent child is experiencing trials and tribulations, take a few moments and answer the following questionnaire. This can serve as a point of reference to understand the severity of the problems your teen is experiencing. Sometimes teenage problems are so severe, they can only be addressed by a professional in a controlled environment, such as a residential centre and/or therapy programme. However most rites of passage problems can be resolved at home by tightening family rules and discipline. After completing the questionnaire, count how many questions you have ticked ‘Yes’ and refer to the scoring guide, which offers suggestions and recommendations based on your responses. Questionnaire 1. Are you concerned about your child’s well-being and future? YES/NO 2. Are you concerned that your teen may be sexually promiscuous? YES/NO 3. Are you exhausted by your teen’s defiant and/or destructive behaviour and choices? YES/NO 4. Are you worried that your teen may not complete high school? YES/NO 5. Do you find yourself choosing words carefully when speaking to your teen out of fear of a verbal attack from her? YES/NO 6. Do you lack trust in your teen? YES/NO 7. Do you have trouble getting your teen to do simple household chores or homework? YES/NO 8. Do you suspect at times that money or other valuables have been stolen from your home? YES/NO 9. Do you suspect that sometimes your teen lies or is dishonest with you? YES/NO 10. Do you suspect your teen is using or experimenting with drugs/alcohol? YES/NO11. Does your teen hang out with an anti-social group? YES/NO 12. Does your teen engage in activities you don’t approve of? YES/NO 13. Does your teen ever display violent behaviour? YES/NO 14. Does your teen have problems with authority? YES/NO 15. Does your teen seem depressed/withdrawn? YES/NO 16. Does your teen seem to be in constant opposition to your family values? YES/NO 17. Does your teen seem to demonstrate lack of motivation? YES/NO 18. Does your teen seem to lack self-esteem and self-worth? YES/NO 19. Does she struggle with basic family rules and expectations? YES/NO 20. Has she ever been suspended, expelled, truant, or experienced a drop in school grades? YES/NO 21. Does her behaviour raise concerns for her safety? YES/NO 22. Has your teen ever displayed any evidence of suicide ideation? YES/NO 23. Has she had problems with the law? YES/NO 24. Has she lost interest in former productive activities, hobbies or sports? YES/NO 25. Has your teen’s visual appeal and/or personal hygiene changed? YES/NO 26. Is your teen angry or displaying temper outbursts? YES/NO 27. Is she manipulative and/or deceitful? YES/NO 28. Is she verbally abusive? YES/NO 29. No matter what rules and consequences are set, do you feel that your teen will defy them? YES/NO 30. When dealing with your teen, do you often feel that you are powerless? YES/NO What do your responses indicate? 18+ Yes responses: High risk. Get professional help! A residential treatment programme/therapy is strongly recommended. 9-17 Yeses: Borderline risk. It…

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Help children overcome fear of failure

Failure is a learning experience and pre-condition of success. When children experience disappointment and failure, if they are given counseling, support, and advice, they become better and stronger people – Bandana Brahmin Learning to cope with challenges, disappointments and often failure, is a rite of passage for all children. However, during the teenage years when adolescents experience intense physical, psychological and emotional transformation as they are confronted with the burden of parental expectations, peer pressure, and demands of an exam-focused education system, many of them experience deep and debilitating fear of failure. Fear of failure causes children to experience anxiety before they write a test, perform for an audience, compete in a sport or even participate in new social settings. It prompts them to perform below their potential, inhibits them from experimentation, making new friends, and taking risks. Therefore, it’s important for caring parents to educate and counsel children that failure is an essential part-and-parcel of life and often the stepping stone to success. When children experience disappointment and failure, if they are given counseling, support, and advice, they become better and stronger people. Comments Haimanti Basu Roy, a Kolkata-based teacher and mother of ten-year-old Soham, whose husband (Souvik) is a former nationally top-ranked table-tennis player: “Although we never expected Soham to be a topper in academics or sports, when he was eight, he started suffering chronic anxiety and fear of not doing well in exams and sports competitions. Since his father is his role model, Soham naturally wanted to be a winner in academics and sports. But fear of failure began negatively impacting his academic scores and performance in sports events. Luckily we intervened early on and counselled him out of his anxiety by citing examples of people who made their mark in the world despite being average students and sportspersons. Eventually we were able to ease him out his anxiety and his academic scores started improving dramatically. He also plays inter-district table tennis tournaments now.” Popular culture and media, which promptly confers mass adulation and celebrity status on the successful, plant the seeds of fear of failure in children. Societal condemnation of under-achievers also makes a deep impact on children who often entertain fears of being ostracised and stigmatised by peers. Moreover, ambitious parents who make their love and approval conditional upon good grades and sporting success exacerbate the harm that failure can inflict upon children. “We can’t expect children to manage disappointment and failure when most adults struggle to cope with disappointment and setbacks. Therefore it’s important to provide a secure stress-free home environment to help children cope with failure. Moreover, parents themselves need to learn to take failure in their stride as children look up to parents as role models,” says Dr. Anupama Maruvada, child behaviour therapist, founder and clinic director of CBT2, a mental healthcare facility in Bangalore. Unfortunately too many parents impose their unrealised dreams upon their children. This generates deep anxiety within children who don’t want to disappoint their parents. Preeti Ray, acting…

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Adolescence

Understanding teen rebellion

Whether it is questioning rules, insolence towards elders or “acting out” to “fit in” with peers, there are deeper reasons for your adolescent’s rebellious behaviour, says Arundhati Nath Does it anger you when your teen openly flouts rules at home/school or answers back rudely? Do you often wonder how your innocent child has transformed into an unruly and rebellious teen? Adolescence is a period of intense physical, psychological and emotional change. During the teen years, children experience angst, highs and lows and are very vulnerable to peer, parental and academic pressure. Therefore, it’s a challenge for adolescents to deal with emotions equably and think rationally. In his best-seller book What’s Happening to My Teen? Uncovering the Sources of Rebellion (2009), American author Mark Gregston wrote that contemporary teens live in a world that is vastly different from the world their parents grew up in. “Today’s teen culture is full of confusing values and misguiding principles. The media sensationalises everything and misguided focus on fame and celebrity encourages competition in presentation, possessions and experimentation.” The teenage brain A 2015 study of the University of Southern California reveals that teenage rebellion is “often triggered by a young person’s need to assert individuality, as well as a desire to separate from parents”. An earlier 2014 study conducted by Duke University, USA, highlighted that “teenage brains are different than of adults and this makes them more likely to rebel”. This study found that during adolescence, the limbic system connects and communicates with the rest of the brain differently than it does during adulthood. This makes many adolescents susceptible to risky behaviour. The reasons behind teenage rebellion are numerous. Teens are anxious to be accepted within their peer group, prompting them to be ‘cool’ and dress inappropriately, and experiment with drugs and/or alcohol. Many teens rebel because they want attention, and are trying to establish their personal identities and find life’s purpose. It’s normative for them to assert their independence and resist parental advice and control. According to US-based psychologist Carl E Pickhardt there are two common types of teen rebellion — “rebellion of non-conformity and rebellion of non-compliance”. In both types, he says, rebellion attracts adult attention by offending it. Young people rebel against their self-interest, engage in self-defeating and self-destructive activities, experiment with high-risk behaviour, and injure valued relationships especially with parents and elders. Parents aren’t always right Riddhi Doshi Patel, a Mumbai-based child and adolescent psychologist and behavioural coach, believes that latter-day teens are far more empowered than previous generations and therefore parents need to modernise their reactions to contemporary adolescent behaviour. “Teenagers often understand the pros and cons of risky behaviour but when parents constantly nag and impose their adult authority, they are turned off. Parents need to stop preaching and lecturing. Instead they should engage in meaningful conversations with their teens. Parents aren’t always right,” says Patel. Patel narrates the case of a young teen brought in for counselling by her mother who complained that she was very disobedient and rude.…

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Adolescence

Decoding adolescence

During the teen years, children experience emotional turmoil, highs and lows and are particularly vulnerable to peer and parental pressure. Parents need to exercise patience and perseverance and support children through this stormy period of emotional stress – Aarti C. Rajaratnam Adolescence is a period of intense physical, psychological and emotional changes. During the teen years, children experience emotional turmoil, highs and lows and are particularly vulnerable to peer and parental pressure. A research study conducted by the College of Health and Human Sciences at Purdue University, USA, says adolescence is “fraught with changes in emotion, cognition, relationships with parents, peers, and society”. It is a transition from childhood to adulthood — a period wherein your child is moving towards independence and carving out her own identity and personality. But in pursuit of creating a new identity and achieving independence, young people often develop what parents and teachers consider “problem behaviours”. This affects parents very deeply with many of them experiencing helplessness, frustration and anger because they are unable to guide their teens through this turbulent phase. Parents need to exercise patience and perseverance and support children through this stormy period of emotional stress. What happens in adolescence? An adolescent experiences bodily changes externally as well as emerging secondary sexual characteristics. Internally she experiences hormonal fluctuations. These physical changes combined with constant messages from popular media about the “perfect body” and peer pressure lead to many teenagers experiencing poor self-worth and body image issues. Consequently, it’s normative for teenagers to spend hours before a mirror trying to perfect an acceptable image to impress others, while at the other end of the spectrum some develop eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia. It is essential that parents and teachers don’t body shame teenagers with thoughtless remarks and unfair or derogatory comparisons that can aggravate feelings of helplessness, resentment and worsen the communication gap. A well-balanced diet and optimal exercise (250 minutes per week for girls and 350 for boys) helps to regulate hormones and behaviour. The adolescent brain undergoes tremendous changes at tremendous speed, as in early infancy. The only difference is that a toddler cries incessantly while an adolescent will question and/or defy authority. Risk as reward The teen brain equates risk with reward and this often leads to action without heeding consequences such as speeding and road rage, the foolish selfie in front of a moving train or doing things forbidden in school or at home. This is the time when adolescents frequently clash with authority figures. They also tend to disrespect rules, changing them to accommodate their whims, pitting them against parents and teachers who expect discipline and balance. In such circumstances, it’s advisable for adults to refrain from reacting impulsively with punitive correction but to respond empathetically. Help your teenager gain confidence and engage in problem solving without resorting to lecturing. Socially, teens gravitate towards peers. There will be “gang behaviour” even in the most normal teenagers. Forming, and participating in exclusive cliques, is very important for adolescents…

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