Ayushika Anand
My son experiences severe separation anxiety every time I leave for work. Please advise.
— Jeevika Rashi, Chennai
Separation anxiety is common in young children. My solutions:
- Practise short separations. Begin by leaving your child for short periods initially so he gets used to your absence.
- Have a goodbye ritual. While leaving him, make a sweet gesture such as a special hug, kiss, high-five etc.
- If possible, avoid changing caregivers frequently. Adjusting to new caregivers creates anxiety within children.
- Normalise the feeling of missing someone by acknowledging that it is natural and normal to miss a loved one.
- Provide reassurance upon return. When you return from work, spend quality time with him. This reinforces the idea that you will always return and that he is safe and loved.
My son has difficulty following instructions and often gets distracted. Please suggest ways and means I can improve his attention span and listening skills.
— Sargun Singh, Delhi
Here are some practical tips to improve your son’s concentration and listening skills.
- Children perform well in environments with which they are familiar. Create a consistent routine that includes a specific time for tasks to be done in the day (homework, playtime etc). A consistent routine improves focus and reduces distractions.
- Sometimes children feel overwhelmed by the task at hand. Break tasks into small manageable steps that are easy to follow.
- Visual reminders such as to-do lists reinforce verbal instructions.
- Identify distractions and ensure that they are minimized when you are providing instructions.
- Use positive reinforcement to encourage good behaviour.
My child has trouble making friends. Please suggest ways I can improve her social and inter-personal relationship skills.
— Deekshit Saha, Bengaluru
Here are some effective ways to support her social development:
- Teach your child empathy — capability to understand and share others’ feelings. Role-playing and discussion about different scenarios at home is a good way to teach children empathy.
- Be a role model yourself. Children learn from what they observe rather than from what they hear. Demonstrate the behaviour you want your child to emulate.
- Sometimes children get overwhelmed by large groups. Therefore, start with arranging play dates or activity sessions with two-three peers.
- Encourage your child to learn new activities whether it’s sports, music or art at school. These activities provide a good opportunity to make friends with similar interests.
- It’s the parents’ job is to prepare children to cope with rejection, failure and disappointment. Therefore, focus on building resilience.
My teenage daughter has become very secretive and spends a lot of time alone. How can I foster open communication and trust between us?
— Rishi Shinde, Mumbai
Adolescence is a challenging development phase for children during which they seek greater independence and privacy. My recommendations:
- Ensure your daughter knows you are always available to discuss any issue. Plan interesting activities with her, it will give you a chance to learn about her social life.
- Respecting her privacy builds trust. It will also encourage her to open up to you.
- Be a good listener. This will demonstrate that you value her emotions and opinions.
- Share your own feelings, thoughts and emotions with her. It will motivate her to speak freely with you.
- Spend quality time with her.