Dr. Himanshi Kashyap
Temper tantrums indicate children’s lack of ability to process emotions. They also signify the emergence of autonomy while simultaneously being a cry for parental attention
It’s common for children aged 15 months-four years to exhibit temper tantrums — brief episodes of unpleasant, disruptive behaviour and emotional outbursts. Sometimes, tantrums may be extreme and disproportionate to the situation. They indicate children’s lack of ability to process emotions. They also signify the emergence of autonomy while simultaneously being a cry for parental attention. Although temper tantrums in toddlers are typical and natural to their development cycle, atypical tantrums could be indicative of behavioural and developmental disorders such as autism.
Temper tantrums tend to decrease as children get older. For instance a mere 10 percent of four-five-year-olds display temper tantrums cf. 85-90 percent of 18-36-months-olds. Moreover children with speech delay, behavioural and developmental disorders tend to display more frequent and aggressive tantrums.
Temper tantrums are usually a response to unfulfilled demands, frustration, anger and/or attention seeking behaviour. Common physiological triggers include hunger, illness, fatigue, fear and over-stimulating environment.
Psychosocial factors such as inconsistent parenting, failure to set limits, use of corporal punishment, maternal depression, and low socio-economic status also result in children resorting to temper tantrums.
Signs
Common manifestations of temper tantrums in toddlers include:
- Episodes of crying, screaming, flailing, hitting, throwing things, pushing, biting or limplessness.
- During intense tantrums, children sometimes briefly hold their breath. These breath-holding spells could last for one-three minutes. Though usually these episodes are once-a-day occurrences, in atypical/severe cases they could occur upto five times per day and last for 5-15 minutes.
- In between tantrums, there is normalization of mood and behaviour.
Managing tantrums
- Parents should follow the acronym RCSFNT (Remain Calm, Speak Firmly in Neutral Tone) when dealing with tantrums.
- Best to ignore a tantrum.
- Try to distract the child. Leave the place, taking the child along, until the tantrum stops.
Don’t give in to children’s unreasonable demands - Desist from physical punishment, which can increase anti-social behaviour.
- If the tantrum episode lasts for more than 15 minutes, consult a psychologist or medical practitioner.
- Be vigilant and observant as severe tantrums are associated with aggression towards others and/or self-injurious behaviour.
- If your child has been diagnosed with an associated neurodevelopmental disorder such as autism or ADHD, you will need specialized advice of a medical expert to manage her temper tantrums.
- The severity, frequency, and length of tantrums decrease with age as children acquire skills to identify and process emotions, and communicate their needs, wants and fears.
(Dr. Himanshi Kashyap has over 25 years of experience in paediatrics and neonatology. Currently she is Director and Head of the Cheerful Child Development Centre, Gurgaon)