My seven-year-old son is hyperactive and doesn’t heed my requests to behave. I have read that because of lack of social interaction during the pandemic, many children have lost their socio-emotional and communication skills. Could this be true for my son, or does he have special needs?
— Anonymous, Bengaluru
During these unprecedented pandemic times, a seven-yearold can’t be expected to be disciplined and orderly. It’s an unnatural phase in their lives with schools closed and social interaction limited to immediate family members. Many children are also experiencing online learning fatigue. I suggest you do the following:
• Set aside at least two hours daily for physical activity and exercise — cycling, playing a sport, or running.
• Canalise his energy into open-ended activities such as block play, art and craft, DIY activities, dance and/or music. Also slot in reading time for 30 minutes every day.
• Encourage open communication and discussion at home.
My daughter is eight, and has developed the habit of striking children, snatching their things, or disturbing them. We have tried persuading, explaining, scolding, and punishing her but to no avail. Please advise.
— Vimala Suri, Chennai
In ‘normal’ times, school teachers discipline children and correct such behaviour. Unfortunately, this natural learning environment has been disrupted for the past two years. I advise the following:
• Investigate and understand the causes of this disruptive behaviour. Is it jealousy, competitiveness with peers or a call for your attention? • Schedule a quiet time for a frank discussion with your daughter. Explain that you don’t appreciate such behaviour. Appeal to her sense of reason and make her open up as to the causes.
• Warn that certain privileges will be withdrawn if this behaviour continues — it could be TV time, outdoor play with friends or gifts. Ensure that it’s not an empty threat.
I have three children. As a result, we need to buy 3x of everything. So we purchase smaller and cheaper things, compared to their friends, many of whom are pampered single children. We also don’t buy large, expensive gadgets and toys. The children don’t like it, though we have explained to them the virtues of frugality. Please help!
— Piyali Mitra, Mumbai
Great question! It is perfectly alright and, in fact, ideal to announce a budget for the month within which new toys and gifts will be purchased. This teaches children the value of money. Explain to your children that economics is a choice between alternatives and no one can have everything. They can choose to sacrifice a particular toy and save up for a better bigger common gadget which can be used by all. As they grow up, leave the decision-making to them. It will reduce unnecessary purchases and teach your children the virtues of consensus-building, decision-making, value-assessment and money management.
(Dr. Pallavi Rao Chaturvedi is a parenting coach, founder – Get Set Parent, and vice-president, Early Childhood Association of India)
Also Read:Eduleader Speaks: Dr. Pallavi Rao Chaturvedi, founder, Get Set Parent with Pallavi