My daughter is in class VIII and loves to play tennis. She wants to quit school and pursue tennis full-time. I am worried as this is the time when she needs to focus on studies. How do I get her interested in studies?
— Romola Ratnakumar, Chennai
Encourage your child both in tennis and academics. If she is talented and loves tennis, help her find a good coach who will also be able to advise you if she has a future in the game. Playing games and sports builds children’s character, discipline and resilience. All these attributes hold children in good stead in academics as well.
You need to maintain a balance in your child’s life. Don’t become too competitive too early in sports. Allow her to develop and set achievable goals. Her progress in tennis may be fast or slow depending on numerous factors. Take advice from the coach.
Moreover something that often gets overlooked is that child athletes should also have a life outside of sports. It’s important to enable her growth on the court and off it. Careers in sports including in tennis, have a short time-span. Therefore be positive and encourage both academics and tennis.
My ten-year-old daughter has attained early puberty. I have explained to her that menstruation is normal and there is nothing to worry about… but she is feeling stressed. Please advise.
— Joshita Minaha, Bengaluru
It’s good that you have explained the menstruation process to her. Helping her understand bodily changes will encourage her to make good decisions about her health in the future. Most girl children get their first menstrual period when they’re between 10-15 years old. The average age is 12, but every girl’s body has its own schedule. There’s no right age for onset of puberty.
If you are unable to persuade her to relax, you could ask your doctor, nurse, school counselor, or a trusted family member to talk with her and assuage her anxieties about this normative rite of passage.
My seven-year-old son is afraid of dogs. I have counselled him several times that this fear is unwarranted, but to no avail. How can I help him overcome his fear of canines?
— Sheila Paul, Mangalore
Children aren’t alone in such fears; sometimes the problem is magnified because dogs are also afraid of children. Here are some ways to help your son overcome his fear of canines:
• Recognise and accept that his phobia is real.
• Watch what you say. Don’t unintentionally reinforce his fear of canines with advice such as ‘Be careful, the dog might bite you!’
• Take little steps. There’s no reason to rush your son into face-to-face dog introductions. Take it slowly and gently. Gradually introduce him to canines, starting with picture books, TV programmes, and then in the real world.
• Find a relative/friend with a human-friendly adult dog, not a puppy. Like children, puppies are unpredictable and excitable and can scare young children.
• Understand canine body language. A dog wagging its tail is relaxed and happy. So be positive and approach such dogs with confidence.
• Teach your child to gently pet a dog’s body instead of the more-intimidating head.
• Safe and happy interactions between children and dogs have a lot to do with ‘talking and teaching’. For the former to be gentle and respectful. Teach your child to never push, hit, or tease a dog, or pull his tail.
• Finally, and most important: Encourage your child to always ask permission of the owner before petting his dog.
(Sue Atkins is a UK-based internationally recognised parenting expert, broadcaster, speaker and author of Parenting Made Easy — How to Raise Happy Children (2012))
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