Tired of giving in to your child’s demands and ‘bribing’ your child? If you have fallen into the trap of bribing your child so much that she will not help you with any chores unless you promise to buy her some goodies, it’s time to change the transactional interface.

First, be firm about getting out of the circle of daily bribes. Have a frank talk with your child. Explain that it’s morally reprehensible to keep buying new things, and explain why.
Occasional rewards for special achievements and good work can continue. But refuse to link every small task to a material reward.

Instead, offer interesting rewards for commendable behaviour by using a Rewards Box.

The Rewards Box. First, choose an attractive money box. Every time you want to reward good behaviour, write a Promise Note on a piece of paper, fold it and insert it into the box. A Promise Note can contain promises like “A visit to the zoo”, “A sleepover with a cousin”, “A family game of Scrabble” or “A Play Day when you get to choose games for the family”.

These promises can be redeemed every weekend, or when you want to present a reward, and think there is time to fulfill a Promise Note. Just open the box, and let your child pick one note. Be sure to keep your promise, and give your child something to look forward to.

Nisha Daniel