Everyone talks. Everyone communicates. But few connect. Those who do connect take their relationships, their work, and their lives to another level — John C. Maxwell, author and speakerIn the hills of north-east los angeles overlooking the Dodger Stadium, stands another baseball diamond. While this field never attracts the teeming crowds of its neighbour to the south, it provides something far more important. It offers a sense of community and connection to children who might not otherwise experience these social benefits. Before, the only organised thing around here for the kids was the gangs, said a community resident. Now were for real. We got little league baseball. Such is the power of sports to uplift and renew the human spirit. But unfortunately, today too often, we see a different type of in your face sports — characterised by taunting, hostility, and over-aggression. My college teammate, friend and colleague in our non-profit — The Promise of Good Sports — Dr. David Epperson, has written extensively about the positive perspectives of those who regard sports as an opportunity for athletes, coaches, parents and fans to work together to build supportive, connected communities which work for the welfare of all. Dr. Eppersons analysis of the purpose and character of sporting activity is the polar opposite of the viewpoint expressed by NFL legend Vince Lombardi. Winning isnt everything, its the only thing. In our business there is no second place, either youre first or youre last, he famously declared. The latter analysis of the objec-tive of sports leads to all types of on-field and off-field conflicts which in my opinion, is contrary to the very essence of sports activity and participation. Here are some ways in which athletes, coaches, parents and fans can encourage and spread the message and spirit of connective sports. • Examine your own attitudes. Do you show empathy and concern for others — teammates, opponents, game officials? Or are you that parent or fan in the stand who yells: Kill‘em, Bobby! Kill ‘em!? • Learn to express your emotions constructively. Im not saying the philosophy of connective sports rules out disappointment, anger or sorrow. But as a parent, you need to school your child to constructively rather than destructively, express those emotions. You need to model self-control. Connective sports is about controlling emotions. And great sportsmen use their emotions, instead of letting their emotions use them. In 1995 golfer Ben Crenshaw used all the emotion he felt for his departed friend Harvey Penick to win the Masters. Penick died the week of the tournament, but instead of allowing his grief to overwhelm him, Crenshaw used the emotional energy that welled up inside him to give himself focus and a cause. • Focus on growth first, trophies second. I am aware I repeat this constantly, but thats because it bears repetition. Not every child can be a winner or in the winning team. Not every child can be a star player. But every child can develop character through sports, and that…
