Although India recently celebrated the Golden Jubilee of its elaborately drafted Constitution which confers enviable fundamental rights upon all its citizens, it’s a moot point whether in reality this sovereign, socialist, secular and holier-than-thou republic, is a free country.

This awareness impacted your editor with magnum force during a Sunday morning en famille picnic in Bangalore’s shrinking, but well-preserved 300-acre Cubbon Park. At the guarded gate of the park, the Sunday picnic balloon was pricked by an armed guard who took objection to a well-packed picnic basket. “Food items are prohibited” because they attract “rats and snakes”. Ditto snagging a lemonade — or God have Mercy! — a pint of beer. Completely out of the question.

Also strictly prohibited are “public displays of affection” even towards the missus, and especially towards young female companions because in the words of Horticulture Department Deputy Director Kusuma G, “couples sit in some corner areas of the park and do all sorts of things which offends the public”. Moreover, children can’t run about in the park — forget about an impromptu game of cricket or even chucking a frisbee. Because players may “trample the grass and damage plants”. And if a group of visitors indulge in a game of Secret Santa or a grave academic debate, they become liable for a fine of Rs.20,000.

Evidently, Deputy Director Kusuma G. believes the park is being maintained by taxpayers for her comfort and of dozens of supervisors, wardens and others employees of Cubbon Park in which as a school boy I enjoyed all these now prohibited activities, including canoodling my girlfriend of the time. Yes, I wanted to celebrate the Golden Jubilee of the Constitution. But the conundrum was how in a country where everything is forbidden unless permitted by special dispensation of our post-independence masters.