Children’s perceived laziness has underlying causes ranging from the physical to psychological: Aruna Raghuram
“Roshan is so lazy. He sits doing nothing once he is back from school.”
“Aarthi just doesn’t want to do her homework. She is so lazy.”
“Geeta hates to play any sports. She is so lazy.”
“Aryan keeps his room so untidy. He is so lazy.”
Four children, but the same label — ‘lazy’ — a harsh, judgmental word that subjects a child to painful criticism from parents, extended family and friends, and peers. Parents, very often, label their child lazy because she is not doing well academically, not eager to play with friends, uninterested in extracurricular activities, or is messy and disorganised.
But children’s perceived laziness has underlying causes ranging from the physical to psychological. It’s important for parents to identify the hidden cause of their child’s seeming laziness and address it. Here are six reasons why your child may seem to be lazy.
Cognitive problems
Many children labelled lazy are dealing with unidentified learning disabilities. A study conducted by the Queensland University of Technology, Australia titled ‘Just Try Harder and You Will Shine: A Study of 20 Lazy Children’ found that 17 of the 20 examined children had a range of learning disabilities (LDs).
LDs impact the ability of a child to read, write or do math. Children with LDs such as dyslexia, Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) or developmental disorders such as autism, are often labelled as lazy before they are diagnosed.
“I get parents all the time complaining their child is lazy. On closer evaluation it turns out that the child has a special need. Parents need to be educated and encouraged to understand and address the root cause of children’s laziness,” says Lakshmi Krishnakumar, psychologist and founder-director of Chennai-based Sankalp — the Open School, ranked India’s #1 special needs school in the EducationWorld India School Rankings 2023-24.
According to Krishnakumar perceived laziness can stem from several factors. “These include physical and cognitive development disorders, lack of motivation, and difficulty in focusing on assignments, being overwhelmed by them, inability to plan, organise, and execute tasks.”
Lack of competence
Children want to accomplish tasks and bask in the encouragement and praise they receive when they succeed. But sometimes it’s lack of a skill or competence that makes children hesitant to attempt a task. “Children are inherently curious and physically active. They are not inherently lazy. A prime reason why they may not attempt a task is because they lack the confidence to execute it. A child would prefer to be labelled lazy rather than incompetent. For instance, a child may shy away from doing a maths assignment because she doesn’t know how to do it. Whenever a child seems lazy there is always some underlying cause,” says Dr. Debmita Dutta, a Bengaluru-based medical practitioner and parenting consultant who has written seven books on parenting.
Dr Debmita Dutta
Parenting style
Three styles of parenting — permissive, uninvolved and authoritarian — prompt disinterest. “In the permissive style a child feels overwhelmed by too much freedom. In uninvolved, a child feels abandoned with no active support and guidance from parents. Authoritarian parenting curbs motivation because the child has no autonomy. Therefore a child may refuse to do tasks because she feels demotivated because of poor parenting,” says Hamida Rashid, an Ahmedabad-based child psychologist and trauma informed psychotherapist,
Dr. Dutta says there’s a deep connection between parenting styles and loss of motivation within children. “Low motivation prompts children to be lazy. On the other hand they are motivated when they have autonomy and control over their lives, know they are loved and believe they are competent to perform tasks. When motivation is lacking, they tend to be lazy — sleep or watch TV for a large part of the day,” says Dr. Dutta.
Hamida Rashid
Dutta adds that a critical and comparing parent will also trigger laziness as a rebellious response. “A child may think: ‘I will be criticised anyway — so why work hard?’ Again, when parents are always squabbling, there’s no emotional anchor and the child may not want to do anything in case her failure may aggravate parental tensions,” she says.
Depression
Depression is another cause of low motivation and energy levels in children. According to Hamida Rashid, lethargy, which manifests as being tired all the time and wanting to rest, is often mistaken for laziness. “Lethargy is a significant symptom of childhood depression. When a child is lethargic and apathetic, has difficulty concentrating on tasks, is irritable and experiences periods of sadness, it is time to seek professional help,” she advises.
Anxiety and stress
Anxiety and stress also adversely affect motivation. They reduce dopamine levels in the brain, prompting laziness. “Sometimes, what manifests as laziness may be a coping mechanism for anxiety and stress. When there is intense pressure from parents to perform, children experience fear of failure — a major reason why they become anxious and hesitate to take up certain tasks. This is often labelled as laziness by parents and teachers,” explains Lakshmi Krishnakumar.
Lack of sleep/ nutritional deficiency
Physical causes such as inadequate sleep and nutritional deficiencies also prompt children to become lethargic. If a child doesn’t get adequate rest at night she is likely to be tired through the day, which in turn adversely impacts memory, learning, and energy levels. Similarly, lack of proper nutrition and vitamins or minerals deficiency may prompt children to shy away from physical activity. Parents are recommended to test children for nutritional deficiencies and consult a doctor to prescribe supplements.
What parents can do
“It’s very important that parents don’t arbitrarily make judgements and label children as lazy. They need to try and identify the reasons why children are lethargic and demotivated. If necessary consult a professional without fear of stigma for full evaluation and diagnosis. Only when parents know the underlying reason for their children’s perceived laziness, can they help them realise their full potential,” says Hamida Rashid.
Also read: Disciplining children challenges
