Being a supportive sports parent entails much more than driving your child to and from practice, and cheering from the stands on game day. An enriching sports education requires a three-way partnership between parent, child, and coach. It requires building of a sports community devoted to the physical and mental well-being of each and every child in a team. It requires that parents support the coach through active involvement with the team, and always remember their role in the community ‚ which is of parent, not coach. Many parents forget that distinction and believe they should have greater say in their child‚s sports education. This is a natural parental instinct ‚ to want to take charge of a difficult situation and solve their child‚s problems. In such situations parents need to understand that they at best can provide only temporary solutions to their children‚s difficulties in the development process. The world of sports is not the right environment for that type of parenting. In two books on sports parenting that I have co-authored with Dr. Dave Epperson, we argue that there is a fundamental difference between your child‚s voluntary and mandatory activities, education being a prime example. When it comes to attending school, as a parent you must set ground rules for continuous attendance and ensure their enforcement. Most parents would agree that it should not be left to children to determine whether they will attend school each day or complete their homework every evening. These are parents‚ mandatory responsibilities. But sports and other voluntary activities should be treated differently. In the world of sport a child learns to think independently and become aware of her responsibilities in the early years. The responsibility of the parent is to help the child appreciate the difference between the two activities and help her balance them. Every individual on a daily basis, is confronted with situations which demand demarcation of activities which require guidance, from those which can be handled independently. The foundation for striking this balance needs to be built at a young age. When it comes to voluntary activities, it‚s advisable for children to be given the opportunity to lead and become their own advocates. For example, if your child comes home one day and tells you that she‚s lost her starting position on the team and is now a second-string player. Most parents would respond by offering to contact the coach to find out why she was benched. A better response would be to ask your child, “Why do you think you got benched?” After she has offered her explanation, you could ask her: “How can I help you work on this challenge?” The key word in this offer of help is you. The point to note is that in this instance it‚s not the parent‚s responsibility to fix the problem. The parent‚s role is to build the confidence of the child, so she can address difficult situations independently. This attitudinal approach enables children to learn to accept responsibility by…
