Usha Rani
By -My nine-year-old daughter often feels overwhelmed by schoolwork and extracurricular activities. How can we help her manage her time and stress effectively?
— Vivikta Srinivas, Bengaluru
Have a freewheeling conversation with your daughter to identify the specific causes of stress and difficulty. Is it the amount of homework, pressure to perform well academically, or lack of free playtime? Once you understand the root causes, you can work together to find solutions.
Encourage your daughter to prioritize her tasks and activities, take short breaks, engage in physical activity, and pursue hobbies she enjoys. This will reduce stress.
Here are a few suggestions to calm her down when she’s feeling overwhelmed.
• Schedule activities to manage time well.
• Practice deep breathing to relax physically and emotionally.
• Journaling will help self-expression and stress management.
My son is very shy and hesitates to speak up in class. Please suggest ways to develop his self-confidence.
— Samanvika Choudhry, Delhi
Start by identifying and highlighting his strengths to boost self-esteem. Encourage him to participate in small peer group discussions or one-on-one conversations with his class teacher. You could help by prepping him for these discussions. Role-play social interactions through play and positive reinforcement and praise his efforts and accomplishments — this will boost his confidence. Encourage self-expression through writing/art.
Discuss with his class teacher about how your efforts can be reinforced in school. Gentle encouragement at home and school will motivate him to build confidence and become more assertive in the classroom. Be patient and consistent with your support.
My eight-year-old daughter has disturbing nightmares. We’ve tried consoling her, but she is scared. Please advise.
— Joshi Ronit, Mumbai
When she wakes up from a nightmare, offer empathy and reassurance without dismissing her fears. Encourage her to describe the nightmare and listen attentively. This helps her process and express her emotions.
Visualisation may also help — ask her to imagine a ‘magic paintbrush’ that paints dreams with vibrant colours and teach her to use positive affirmations like ‘I am brave,’ ‘I am strong,’ and ‘I can chase away scary dreams and enjoy good dreams’.
You can whisper positive affirmations in her ear while sleeping. Deep breathing and meditation will calm her mind and body before sleep.
Most important, maintain a consistent sleep schedule, ensuring her bedroom is cozy and dark. Avoid stimulating activities and digital screens before bedtime. If nightmares persist, consult a child psychologist.
My child has started telling lies frequently. How can I address this behaviour and encourage honesty?
— Jean Jacob, Trivandrum
You can begin with using simple and clear language to explain the importance of honesty and consequences of telling untruths. Here are some simple ways to communicate this message.
• “Remember, honesty is important. If you lie, it can hurt people’s feelings and damage relationships.”
• “I appreciate your honesty when you tell me the truth, even if it’s hard.”
• “Lying is not okay, but I know you can make better choices. Let’s try again.”
• “Your honesty makes me proud! Keep telling the truth, even if it’s difficult.”
• “Tell the truth, and you will make people happy. Lying hurts people, so always tell the truth.”
• You can share stories such as ‘The Boy Who Learned to Tell the Truth’.
By using positive reinforcement and clear communication, parents can encourage children to become honest and tell the truth. Patience, understanding, and consistency are key to developing the virtue of honesty.
