Nivedha M
– Nivedha M is a Pondicherry-based child psychologist
My daughter is uninterested in her schoolwork and often procrastinates before completing it. Please share some strategies to motivate her academically.
— Miraya Khan, Mumbai
Talk with your child and understand the root cause of her disinterest in studies. This will enable you to address her lack of academic motivation better. Here are my recommendations.
- Use differential reinforcement to encourage her. For example, reward her academic efforts with small gifts or treats. Take care not to reward behaviour that distracts her from studying.
- Create a token economy system to manage her study habits. Ideate small tokens that she can earn for studying and can exchange for a reward later. This helps her understand the concept of working towards a goal.
- Set achievable goals. Encourage her to set short-term, realistic, and manageable goals. For example, she could break her lessons into small portions. Achieving small goals will give her a sense of accomplishment and confidence.
- Use timers during study hours. Allocate a limited amount of time for each study session using a timer to alert her when it’s over. For longer study sessions, set alarms to go off at regular intervals to allow for short breaks.
- Provide your full support, guiding and counseling her to overcome academic hurdles.
My teenager is struggling with body image issues and low self-esteem. How can I encourage her to develop a positive self-image?
— Shylaja Tharwani, Bengaluru
First, encourage her to share her insecurities and fears with you. Listen non-judgmentally. Second, as a parent you need to demonstrate positive self-esteem and body image. Choose a healthy lifestyle comprising a nutritious diet, adequate sleep and regular exercise. This will motivate her to follow your example.
Third, encourage her to become physically active. Teens who exercise for health rather than weight loss or gain are more likely to have a good self image. They learn to love and respect their bodies. Most important, motivate her to pursue preferred extra-curricular interests and talents. This will boost her self-confidence and esteem.
My son gets extremely anxious before exams. How can I help him manage exams anxiety?
— Krishiv Dutta, Delhi
- Value and appreciate your child’s effort, not merely the result. Please understand that his mental health is more important than exam scores. Assure him that you will value him whatever the result.
- Help him to prepare a daily study schedule and to-do list. This develops important organisation skills and responsibility. Motivate him to follow the schedule, to lower anxiety. It will boost academic performance.
- Reward his study efforts. Either by way of preparing his favorite food dish or even through verbal appreciation. This will fortify his sense of achievement and confidence.
- Provide a balanced diet including vegetables, fruits, whole grains, and seafood, and ensure he gets adequate sleep.
My daughter is very sensitive and gets upset over small issues. Please share some tips to develop her emotional resilience?
— Maria D’Souza, Mangalore
- Acknowledge and validate her emotions. Use a neutral tone and phrases such as “I understand that you are upset” or “It’s ok to feel sad about…”
- Encourage her to set personal goals and challenges to boost self-esteem and confidence. Whether she achieves them or not, it will definitely help her learn about life in a wider sense.
- Naturally, all parents want to keep their children safe. But eliminating all risks could rob her of developing resilience. Let her learn coping skills by taking small risks. Giving children age-appropriate freedoms helps them learn their limits.
- Encourage her to develop problem-solving and conflict resolution skills.
- If need be, don’t hesitate to consult a child psychologist or counselor.
Also read: Get Kids to Play Striking the balance between sports and academics