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Stressful times are an opportunity to teach children resilience

ParentsWorld December 2021 | Parents World Special Essay

Between the global Covid-19 pandemic, the associated economic downturn and widespread protests over racism, it’s difficult for everyone. Many people are struggling, consumed with anxiety and stress, finding ourselves unable to sleep or focus. As a developmental psychologist and researcher on anxiety and fear in infants and young children, I have been particularly concerned about the impact of the pandemic on young people’s mental health. Many have not physically been in school since March 2020. They’re isolated from friends and relatives. Some fear that they or loved ones will contract the virus; they may be hurt in racial violence or violence at home — or they might lose their home in a wildfire or flood. These are very real life stressors. Decades of research have documented serious consequences from chronic stress in childhood. But psychologists have identified ways in which parents can teach children how to cope with adversity — an idea commonly known as resilience. The effects of childhood stress Children cannot be protected from everything. Parents get divorced. Children grow up in poverty. Friends or loved ones are injured, fall ill or die. Kids can experience neglect, physical or emotional abuse or bullying. Families emigrate, end up homeless or live through natural disasters. There can be long-term consequences. Hardship in childhood can physically alter the brain architecture of a developing child. It can impair cognitive and social-emotional development, impacting learning, memory, decision-making and more. Some children develop emotional problems, respond with aggressive or disruptive behavior, form unhealthy relationships or end up in trouble with the law. School performance often suffers, ultimately limiting job and income opportunities. The risk of suicide or drug and alcohol abuse can increase. Kids who are exposed to chronic stress may also develop lifelong health issues, including susceptibility to heart attack, stroke, obesity, diabetes and cancer. So how do some kids thrive amidst serious challenges, while others are overwhelmed by them? Researchers in my field are working to identify what helps children overcome obstacles and flourish when the odds are stacked against them. It seems to narrow down to support and resilience. Resilience is defined as the ability to spring back, rebound or readily recover from adversity. It’s a quality that allows people to be competent and accomplished despite tough circumstances. Some children from difficult backgrounds do well from a young age. Others bloom later, finding their paths once they reach adulthood. Ann Masten, a pioneer in developmental psychology research, referred to resilience as “ordinary magic.” Resilient kids don’t have some kind of superpower that helps them persevere while others flounder. It isn’t a trait we’re born with; it’s something that can be fostered. The key factors that help kids build resilience The same executive function skills that create academic success seem to bestow critical coping strategies. With the capacity to focus, solve problems and switch between tasks, children find ways to adapt and deal with obstacles in a healthy way. Controlling behavior and emotions is critical. In a recent study, 8-17-year-olds who maintained

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