Though the halcyon days of carefree holidays are gone — perhaps forever — as in everything else, human ingenuity has reinvented vacationing. New pandemic-safe holiday options such as staycations, workations, camping trips, among other alternatives have emerged as safe options – Dainty Wellington, Cynthia John & Mini P. With the country grappling with a deadly second wave of the Covid-19 pandemic (115,000 cases per day as on April 7), the usual buzz and excitement around summer holidays has all but evaporated. Last year too, during the summer months of April-May, the nation was in lockdown with business and industry, restaurants, schools and colleges shut and severe intra and inter-state travel restrictions. This year too, although there is no national lockdown, some states including Maharashtra and Delhi have imposed night curfews and weekend lockdowns. Yet despite this grim scenario, the need for family vacations was never greater. Parents working from home and children learning online from home for over a year desperately need a holiday/vacation. Medical, wellness, sociology and psychology experts have long proclaimed the benefits of vacations. In 2019, a team of researchers at Syracuse University, USA found that “people who had vacationed more frequently in the past 12 months had a lowered risk of metabolic syndrome”. Moreover, if men at risk of heart disease don’t take annual vacations, they have a 32 percent higher risk of suffering a fatal heart attack than those who holiday annually. Similarly, another study of women indicated that those who took vacations rarely — i.e, once every six years or less often — were eight times more likely to develop heart problems. Sleep quality also improves up to 80 percent in people who take at least one annual vacation, says another study. “The past year has been very stressful for families with parents obliged to work from home and online schooling disrupting normal life and limiting socialisation. Plus there is the constant anxiety and fear of family members contracting the Covid-19 virus. Holidays give a break from daily routines and activities. A change of scene and environment recharges and revives mind and body. I’ve witnessed families returning home from vacations bonded, rejuvenated, more productive and creative,” says Rajat Soni, a Mumbai-based psychologist and motivational speaker, and author of Un-Judge your Teenager (2020). Though the halcyon days of carefree holidays are gone — perhaps forever — as in everything else, human ingenuity has reinvented vacationing. New pandemic-safe holiday options such as staycations, workations, camping trips, among others have emerged as safe options. Moreover, the pandemic has made Indians rediscover domestic tourism destinations which require less travel time, and are therefore safer. Here is a guide to making the most of your family summer holidays during the pandemic. Self-drive/biking vacations During the past few months, many families have opted for self-drive vacations/biking holidays to local destinations to avoid crowded buses, trains and airplanes. Roopa Vaswani, who owns a retail garment store in Bengaluru, availed the option of a biking holiday to scenic spots on the peripheries…
Notwithstanding the ravages of the past half century the Blue Mountains continue to exert a strong allure and the hill stations of this southern state attract large crowds through the year Recently a group of trekkers set off down the The Finicio Trail in the Nilgiris aka, the Blue Mountains. The three day trek followed a rough track, from Mannarkand in Kerala to Melur village in the Nilgiris — the same path that Jacome Finicio, a Jesuit priest, took in 1603 in search of the lost tribes of Israel. Finicio’s report was the first ever-recorded document of the idyllic environs and hospitable tribes of the Nilgiris. Now, 418 years later, a lot has changed. Efforts to make the hills profitable during the past 30 years in particular have been at the expense of the pristine environment of the Blue Mountains. Water drained from the Nilgiris now supports 50 percent of Tamil Nadu’s hydroelectric power and irrigates 2,000 hectares of agricultural land. The development of tea, coffee and tourism industries in the region has turned its ecosystem topsy-turvy. The Finicio trail is one way of marketing the hills through ecotourism and help them regain their past splendour. The government of Tamil Nadu is also making belated efforts to preserve the environment of its premier hill station Ooty, by restricting further construction in this region, according to a senior government official of the Tamil Nadu Tourism Development Corporation. It is also keenly promoting other hill stations in the state through publicity campaigns and advertisements in the media. Notwithstanding the environmental ravages of the past 60 years, the Blue Mountains continue to exert a strong allure and Ooty still retains much of its stately, natural charm which has earned it the title of Queen of Hill Stations. Similarly, other hill stations of Tamil Nadu — Kodaikanal, Yercaud and Elagiri Hills — continue to attract large crowds through the year, especially in the blistering summer months, when the mercury in the plains can shoot upto 40oC and higher. To those who can afford to get away, these hill stations offer a cool bracing climate, natural beauty, fresh air, picturesque mountain views and refreshing solitude. It was in these hills that the British, who ruled the southern peninsula (then known as the Madras Presidency) from the mid-18th century, first discovered the coolant charms of the ‘little England’ hill resorts of Tamil Nadu to which they could make a quick getaway come summer. A massive effort in terms of planning and engineering feats of mind-boggling complexity was undertaken to make the hill stations accessible to the public. Today these resorts which are perhaps the most enduring and appreciated legacies of the British raj, attract ever growing numbers of middle class tourists from across the country to engage in adventure activities like trekking, river rafting and hang gliding and to enjoy the annual summer festivals and cultural shows that are a common feature of every hill station. Udhagamandalam (Ooty) Nestling in the heart of the Blue Mountains,…
An intersection between a simile and metaphor, this literary form captures the reader/listener’s attention by comparing two dissimilar objects – Roopa Banerjee When someone says, ‘A broken heart is like a damaged clock,’ it seems an unlikely comparison but yet it makes the point. A heart and clock are dissimilar objects, but this ingenious analogy prompts us to compare them and appreciate their similarities. A broken heart is like a broken clock, which can be mended with care. This comparison of dissimilar objects and ideas is defined as conceit. The objective of this literary form is to arrest the reader/ listener’ s attention by comparing two unrelated objects. It is an intersection between a simile and metaphor and is more effective because it prompts deeper reflection. Conceits are of two types: Petrarchan and metaphysical. Petrarchan conceits were prominently used in Renaissance literature of the 14th and 15th centuries, with poets using them in Petrarchan sonnets —14-line poems about love. In these poems, conceits were used to compare lovers with attractive elements of nature. For instance ‘Roses danced in the apple of her cheeks’ penned by Italian poet Petrarch (1304- 1374), after whom this style of conceit is named. Metaphysical conceits are more complex as they compare a person or her character trait with the world. The best examples are found in the metaphysical poems of John Donne (1572-1631) who in one instance compared lover’s souls with a mundane compass. Although the two are dissimilar to the point of being an absurd comparison, it is true that the arms of a compass can never really part, just like lovers’ souls. The great bard William Shakespeare used metaphysical conceit lavishly in his writing while shunning, and/or mocking Petrarchan conceit. In his Sonnet 130, Shakespeare writes, ‘My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun; Coral is far more red than her lips’ red’ While Shakespeare eschewed Petrarchan conceits such as those comparing a lover’s eyes to the sun, he displayed a distinct fondness for metaphysical conceit. In Macbeth, Shakespeare writes, ‘Sleep that knits up the ravell’d sleeve of care, The death of each day’s life, sore labour’s bath’ Herein, sleep is compared with death as well as a bath. The intent is to draw readers’ attention to the guilt that Macbeth is experiencing and how his conscience disturbs him. With passing of years, conceits usage became unpopular because they seemed coerced and far-fetched. Metaphysical conceit, in particular, became unpopular as people began to tire of vague and outlandish comparisons which sometimes defied belief and stretched over too many paragraphs. In the 17th century, poets including Samuel Johnson opined that metaphysical conceit gave the impression of two things being “yoked by violence together”. Other poets including Emily Dickinson used conceit but stayed away from both Petrarchan as well as metaphysical conceit. Her famous poem ‘Because I Could Not Stop for Death’ compares a carriage ride with old age moving towards death. This literary form has crept into daily conversations. If you hear people mouthing…
Five family movies which will help children to develop their emotional quotient – Dainty Wellington With the Covid-19 pandemic upending lives with its new routine of masks wearing, social distancing and work from home and online classes, it’s become critically important to develop children’s emotional quotient (EQ) to enable them to express and manage their emotions, develop the virtues of empathy, communication and capability to cope with stress. A good way to build children’s inherent EQ is to watch carefully selected movies that prompt parents and children to empathise with positive characters, discuss difficult situations and assess the positive and negative qualities of lead characters. Here are five carefully selected family movies which will help children to develop their latent EQ. Rise of the Guardians (2012) Based on the book series The Guardians of Childhood by William Joyce, Rise of Guardians is an animated action and fantasy film produced by DreamWorks in 2012. The story follows four guardians: North, the protector of Christmas, Bunny, protector of Easter, Toothiana the Tooth Fairy and Sandman, the protector of dreams. When an old enemy, Pitch Black, arises from the dead to sabotage Christmas celebrations, the four Guardians invoke the notorious Spirit of Winter; i.e, Jack Frost to stop him. Frost has a penchant for mischief and stirring up trouble. Frost is also a myth and invisible to the human eye, because no one believes in him. As the movie progresses, the Guardians and Jack Frost work together to save the Xmas dreams of the world’s children. Though dark and moody at times, the movie teaches children the importance of faith, friendship and family. Onward (2020) Onward is a computer-animated urban fantasy adventure film produced by Walt Disney Pictures last year. The voice cast includes Tom Holland and Christ Pratt, the Marvel stars who voice the characters of two brothers, Ian and Barley Lightfoot. The story follows the two brothers in their quest to resurrect their father for one day. An animated fantasy film, it uses several mythical creatures as characters and names from famous myths including Arthurian mythology. Onward is sensitive in its detailed exploration of loss of a loved one and the importance of letting people into your heart to heal and nourish life. The brothers, Ian and Barley, exhibit a strong bond that will melt your hearts. Enola Holmes (2020) In detective movies lore, Sherlock Holmes is a legend. However, Enola Holmes explores the life of Sherlock’s unknown sister, Enola, which is ‘alone’ spelt backwards, a name bestowed on her by her mother to impress upon her that she needs no one but herself to survive. Based on the book by Nancy Springer, Enola Holmes is set in mid to late 19th century Britain and follows Enola as she tries to solve a puzzle given to her by her mother on her 16th birthday. When her brother Mycroft arrives to take her to a finishing school, Enola rebels and sets off to London to find her mother who went missing on…
Mutton korma recipe (6 servings) Ingredients 1 cup oil 1.5 kg mutton 1 tsp finely chopped fresh ginger 1 tsp finely chopped fresh garlic 3 medium sized onions (finely sliced) 2 cinnamon sticks ½ tsp cloves ½ tsp black peppercorns 2 black cardamoms 14 green cardamoms, split 4 bay leaves 2 tbsp kewra water 2 to 3 tbsp almonds Salt to taste 2 tsp red chilly powder 1 ½ tsp coriander powder ½ tsp garam masala powder 1 ½ tsp cumin powder 1.5 cups yogurt Preparation guide for mutton korma recipe Heat oil in a pressure cooker, add onions and fry until golden brown. Drain the onions and set aside. In the same oil, fry pepper corns, cloves, cinnamon, black and green cardamom for a couple of minutes. Now add the mutton. Maintaining high heat, fry the meat, adding ginger garlic, yogurt, powdered masalas, salt and fried onions. Now pressure cook for 5-6 whistles. Remove the lid and continue to braise meat for 10 to 15 minutes, stirring constantly. Add hot water as needed. Add the bay leaves and kewra water. Once the curry thickens, the meat will become tender and the oil will separate. Serve with rotis or rice. Optional: Garnish with fried almonds once korma is cooked or add blanched almonds to it 15 minutes before taking off from the fire. Health benefits: Bay leaves are a rich source of vitamin A, vitamin C, iron, potassium, calcium, and magnesium. They contain enzymes that break down proteins to aid digestion. Also check: Kenyan vermicelli bread recipe Curd Rice Fritters for the family
Chicken korma recipe ingredients (6 servings) Chicken marinade 1 ¼ boneless skinless chicken breasts 2 tsp extra virgin olive oil 1 tsp coriander powder ½ tsp chilly powder 2 tsp garam masala ½ tsp salt ½ tsp freshly ground black pepper For the korma 3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil ¾ cup water, divided into ¼ cup and ½ cup 2 onions, peeled and cut into quarters ½ cup ground almonds 6 minced garlic cloves 1 ½ cups low-fat yogurt, 1 tsp ground turmeric 1 tsp garam masala 1 tsp salt 1 tsp black pepper 1 tsp coriander powder 1 tsp chilly powder ½ tsp ground coriander seeds ½ tsp cinnamon ½ tsp cumin ¼ tsp ground cardamom ⅛ tsp freshly grated nutmeg 3 large tomatoes (3 cups), diced 1 cup unsweetened canned coconut milk ½ of a small red chilly, de-seeded and minced 1 tbsp freshly grated ginger root 1 tbsp brown sugar (packed). Coriander leaves for garnishing Preparation guide Marinate the chicken for at least two hours or overnight. Heat a pan over medium-high and cook the chicken for 5-6 minutes per side. Set aside the chicken onto a cutting board and cover with foil, while you make the sauce. To make the korma, heat 1 tbsp olive oil in a large skillet. Add onions and ¼ cup water and saute. Stir in the ground almonds and garlic. Cook for a while, remove from heat and cool. Make a puree of the cooled onion-almond mixture with yoghurt until smooth. In the same pan, heat remaining olive oil over medium heat. Once the oil is shimmering, add the spices and powders. Now add the tomatoes, coconut milk, red chilly powder, ginger, and brown sugar and stir well. Cut the cooked chicken into bite-sized pieces and add. Reduce the heat to low and simmer for 30 minutes. Now add in the almond-curd pureed mixture and remove from heat. Garnish with chopped coriander leaves. Health benefits. Yogurt aids digestion and gut health, prevents constipation. Also check: Mutton korma recipe
A traditional Indian delicacy, korma is a dish of meat or vegetables braised with curd, cream, coconut milk, water or stock, and mellowed in spices such as coriander and cumin to produce a thick sauce or gravy. Korma is usually served with naan/roti or rice. Try out these immunity-boosting healthy korma recipes – Parvathy Menon Vegetable korma (6 servings) Ingredients For the paste: 1 cup chopped onions 1 green chilli 1 ½ inch ginger 3 garlic cloves ¼ cup cashew nuts ½ cup water Vegetables: 1 cup diced potato 1 cup cauliflower florets ½ cup beans cut into 1 ½ inch pieces 1 cup chopped tomatoes 1 cup diced carrot ½ cup frozen or fresh peas 2 ½ cups water Other ingredients: 2 tbsp ghee ½ tsp turmeric powder ½ teaspoon garam masala 2 tsp Kashmiri chilly powder ½ tsp cinnamon powder ¼ tsp cardamom powder 1 ½ tsp salt 3 tbsp cream Coriander leaves for garnishing Preparation guide Boil the ingredients for the paste in ½ cup of water. Then, blend in a mixer. Boil the potato in 2 ½ cups of water for 3 minutes, add the carrots and green peas and boil for another 3 minutes. Now, add the cauliflower and beans and boil for another 3 minutes. Drain the vegetables and set aside. Heat ghee in a large pan. Add the prepared paste and all spices. Cook, stirring occasionally until the ghee separates (should take less than 5 minutes). Add the vegetables, the tomatoes and 1 cup of water and cook covered for another 3-4 minutes. Take off the heat and stir in the cream. Garnish with chopped coriander and serve hot with steamed rice or parathas. Health benefits: Cashews are low in sugar and rich in fibre and plant protein. They’re also a good source of magnesium and manganese — important nutrients for energy, brain health, and boosting immunity. Also check: Mutton korma recipe Chicken korma recipe
– Monojit Ghosh is a former gymnast and fitness trainer and gymnastics coach at Art Corner Gymnastics, Bangalore Do you remember the good old days before the tech invasion of laptops, computer tabs and smartphones when summers were filled with free play and children skipping a rope solo, in twos and threes? Remember children enjoying the double jump, skip jump, skip jump with two friends holding the rope, skipping backward and forwards, crossing hands while skipping an ordinary rope. This once much-loved pastime of children has evolved into a highly recommended all body workout. Fitness trainers the world over recommend inexpensive rope skipping regimen. Expert opinion is almost unanimous that children and adults need at least one hour of moderate to intense exercise every day to remain healthy and fit, to build toned bodies and strong immunity. Rope skipping is an enjoyable family exercise activity and one of the best fitness exercises suitable for all age groups. It provides a full body workout for all major muscles. Regular rope skipping also makes the heart muscles stronger, ensuring long-term cardiovascular health and well-being. Since the pandemic and closure of education institutions, obesity and obesity-related disorders among children have increased alarmingly. Regular rope skipping workouts burn off extra calories and body fat and also improve bone health and agility, alertness, and body coordination. Rope Skipping essentials Before your family embarks on a skipping workout, it’s important to bear the following precautions in mind. Ensure the skipping rope is of appropriate length to suit your child’s height. It should leave a comfortable above the head space. Choose a flat floor surface to do this exercise. Rubber or wooden flooring is best. Use comfortable and suitable footwear with good grip and stability. Try landing on toes for best results. Warn children never to play inappropriately with a skipping rope, by pulling it across another person’s neck or body. If children are not mature enough to follow rules, adult supervision is necessary. Skipping Workout Warm up for ten minutes before any intense workout, including skipping. This is not necessary for casual skipping. However an intense skipping workout requires warm up, especially for adults. Skip 50 rounds continuously, with a one minute break. Do three sets. Slowly build up to 100 times, and progressing to five sets. `Family skipping challenge Try these family challenges: Who can skip backwards for the longest time? Who can skip with both legs together the most number of times? Who can skip while reciting a poem? Benefits of skipping Excellent full-body workout Good for weight loss Increases stamina and energy Improves body coordination Burns calories Improves breathing efficiency Decreases foot and ankle injuries Improves stamina Boosts heart rate and controls blood pressure Boosts the cardio-vascular system Also read: Stretching exercises benefit children
Even as the country is experiencing a second wave of the Covid-19 pandemic, we present three resources to enable parents and children to cope with this unprecedented national challenge. They include books for children to understand vaccines, overcome irrational fears, and a website which provides online safety guidelines – Mini P. V for Vaccine: A One-shot Introduction to Vaccines by Somini Sengupta Publisher: HarperCollins Price: ₹99 Against the backdrop of India having launched the world’s largest vaccination drive against Covid-19, in this timely book, author-journalist Somini Sengupta explains the what, why and how of vaccines to children. The three protagonists, Veni, Vidi and Vici, who love talking about all things starting with the letter V, answer questions about the history of the first vaccine, whether animals can get vaccinated, as well as ways and means to build body immunity. The well-researched, informative text is accompanied by colourful and quirky illustrations sure to hold children’s attention. The Elephant and The Peanut By Ajay Shankar Publisher: Notion Press Price: ₹249 This is a picture book poem for children between the ages of three-eight years. An engineer by education who has been writing stories and poetry for over two decades, Ajay Shankar uses rhyming words and eye-catching illustrations to tell a simple story of an elephant calf separated from his mother and a young boy who shows that you don’t have to be afraid of the unfamiliar and that all you need is curiosity, empathy… and a little peanut to overcome fear and anxiety. Families handling tech together http://families.google.com/families According to a recent survey by Google, two in five parents are not confident about talking technology with their children. These include discussions about screen time, digital well-being, and discovering high quality digital apps, games, and activities. Therefore, in an effort to give parents more control over their children’s digital time, Google has introduced a new ‘families’ website. This website allows parents to create family groups and manage apps, screen time, etc of children. For instance parents can encourage children to spend more time on approved apps by designating them as “always allowed”. Parents can also access children’s daily, weekly and monthly online activity reports in addition to gathering useful information on parental controls across the worldwide web.
Sue Atkins is a UK-based internationally recognised parenting expert, broadcaster, speaker and author of Parenting Made Easy — How to Raise Happy Children (2012) My 11-year-old son has a short attention span and cannot concentrate on any activity for more than 15 minutes. I find it hard to motivate him to finish his homework. Please help! — Lavanya Shivlikith, Bangalore The main reason some children have trouble concentrating is because they are wired differently from adults. When a task they’re given isn’t enjoyable, they tend to get bored and quickly shift their attention to something more interesting — unlike adults who have to complete tasks whether we like them or not! Here are some ways to improve your child’s concentration: Create a distraction-free environment. Observe and ascertain whether your child responds well in an environment that is soothing and calming or thrives in an environment with a lot of hustle and bustle. Create the study environment accordingly. Ban gadgets during homework. Ideally, all electronic gadgets need to be switched off or kept in a different room to avoid distraction when children are doing home or other school work. Be prepared. Ensure your son has everything that he needs before he settles down to study — books, pencils, erasers, water, etc. Also run through his homework with him and encourage him to complete the task briskly and efficiently. Regulate sugar intake. A fizzy drink or sugary snack may slow down your child’s energy and concentration levels. Schedule a regular study routine. Fix a time each day for study followed by playtime. Encourage and praise his diligence. My 15-year-old son is very impulsive. He makes decisions without worrying about consequences. This has led to troublesome situations in school and at home. How do I help him slow down and think his actions through? — Anshu Sharma, Mumbai It’s normal for teens to be impulsive. Research shows that teens, more often than people of any other age, tend to follow short-term impulses rather than pursue long-term goals. They have difficulty waiting for long-term rewards because their brains are sensitive to immediate rewards. Here are some suggestions to help your son slow down: • Don’t place yourself in a power struggle. Impulsive behaviour is often about getting a reaction from others, so don’t intensify situations with your comments. Counsel him to hit the ‘pause button’ during emotionally charged situations and remain collected. Your role is to empower him to make better choices, not criticise and judge his actions. Read more about the Pause Button Technique on https://sueatkinsparentingcoach.com/2021/03/my-pause button-technique/ • Physical exercise is a great way to burn off impulsivity. Another panacea is listening to music. • Hold your son accountable. As a teen your son should know all actions come with consequences. Create boundaries and rules that will motivate him to practice prudent behaviour. My five-year-old son has not yet uttered a coherent word. He has no problem communicating with us through sounds but he has not spoken a proper word yet. Should I…
PW invited parents of The Chintels School, Kanpur to share their insights on how they are planning a vacation for their children despite the pandemic “Summer vacations for our four-year-old daughter Arshiya are usually about outdoor activities and games. Since the pandemic situation has forced us to stay indoors, I plan to introduce her to reading, gardening, cooking (without fire) and other household chores. I will set a daily schedule and designate a space for her to engage in these activities. On weekends I will ensure she has a dip in the master bath tub with all her water friendly toys – her favourite activity” — Anshita Gilotra, teacher, Air Force School, Chakeri, Kanpur “This summer is no different from last summer. Except that this year I know what to expect and can plan accordingly for my sons — Pragnay (14) and Prajit (10). First and foremost, I have signed them up for online coding classes which they love and I expect will build a solid academic foundation for them in the future. In addition I will give them basic cooking lessons. I believe cooking is a life skill boys and girls must learn early in life. In return, my boys have promised to teach me the nuances of chess.” — Hema Bhatia, store owner, The Kinder Closet, Kanpur “Last summer, the global pandemic forced us to cancel all our vacation plans. Given the intensity of its second wave this summer, I have decided to take my daughters — Tanmayee (13) and Muskaan (11) — down memory lane to revisit holiday destinations by flipping through old family albums. The objective is to lighten up the mood and initiate discussions on things they valued doing on previous vacations like buying mementos, sampling local cuisine, playing a sport, or simply sleeping for long hours. I am confident this exercise will give them a near vacation experience.” — Nitin Rohra, entrepreneur “Covid-19 has taught us — including my 12-year-old son Krishna (class VII) — valuable lessons in time management. Initially, he would become very bored and cranky. But over time, he started reading books and took interest in playing indoor games like carrom and chess. This summer, we plan to introduce him to simple household chores like laying the table, watering plants, folding clothes etc. Watching movies together is also on the agenda this summer. Moreover I have enrolled him in online English classes.” — Monika Puri, director of KG Footwear Exports Pvt. Ltd, Kanpur
Dr. C.N. Kamalarathnam is professor and head of the department of neonatology, Institute of Child Health, Egmore, Chennai I recently gave birth to a healthy girl child. I’m wondering if there is any specific diet I should follow for her. How many times in a day should I breastfeed her? — Amala Deshpande, Mumbai For new-borns, the best food is mother’s milk. WHO (World Health Organisation) recommends that all infants are exclusively breastfed for six months. I don’t recommend feeding the baby any type of pre-lacteal or to substitute breast with any other type of milk. Sometimes, breastfeeding may not be possible if a mother is ill. Only in such cases, the mother’s milk should be substituted. I suggest mothers feed their newborns about six-eight or even 10-12 times a day, every two-three hours. As the infant grows, the feeding can be on demand. But it’s important to ensure that your child urinates at least five-six times per day. After a good feed, she should also sleep soundly. Generally, if the baby weighs 5 kg in the first month, she will need about 500 ml of milk in a week, for about two months. For about a year, new mothers must feed 100 ml of milk per kg weight every day. After six months, semi-solid food can be added to her diet to complement breast milk. I’m worried about my seven-year-old son who hates to play outdoors not getting enough Vitamin D. Help! — Sowmya Kumar, Bengaluru The human body produces Vitamin D when it’s exposed to sunlight. Ideally this happens when the body is exposed to sunlight from about 10 a.m-11 a.m for at least 20 minutes. So, if children play outdoors around that time, it is sufficient. Choice of clothing is also important. If a child is fully covered, sunlight absorption is low adversely affecting production of Vitamin D. There aren’t many natural suppliers of Vitamin D, but egg yolk is rich in this vitamin. Additionally, chicken liver and fish liver oil also contain Vitamin D. Include fish, organ meat and nuts in his diet; it will ensure he gets the required dose of Vitamin D. Nurturing 21st Century children ask the doctor I am the mother of a six-month-old girl. What is the average sleep time required for her and how do I ensure she’s sleeping safely? — Shivasankari Kumar, Chennai Newborns usually sleep at least 18 hours per day. As the infant grows, time spent sleeping decreases, because of external stimulation and brain development. Newborns also need 3-4 hours sleep before they are fed. Create a quiet sleeping environment and ensure she is well-fed. Appropriate lighting and a loving mother’s touch is also very helpful. My 12-year-old son spends a lot of time on his computer because of online classes. How can he avoid eye and back strain? Ideally, children shouldn’t work on the computer for more than one-two hours. But given the current pandemic situation and closure of schools, this is not possible. Ensure periodic…
Sometimes parents inadvertently cross the line and start relying heavily on a teenage child as an emotional prop, ego booster, venting medium and/or confidante with potentially devastating repercussions for the child – Punita Malhotra It’s not unusual for parents to call on children especially adolescents, in times of family crises to pitch in and share household chores and/or assume additional responsibilities. It’s also acceptable for parents to occasionally unburden themselves and share their troubles with adolescent children. But sometimes parents can inadvertently cross the line and start relying too heavily on a teenage child as an emotional prop, ego booster, venting medium and/or confidante with potentially devastating repercussions for the child. Role reversal can backfire Some children naturally mature early, while others are pushed into early adulthood by home circumstances. The well-known Hungarian-American psychiatrist Dr. Ivan Boszormenyi-Nagy (1920-2007) describes this process as ‘parentification,’ in which adults unwittingly turn children into functional ‘elders’ by entrusting them with more than their share of age-inappropriate responsibilities. Psychologists differentiate between ‘instrumental parentification’ that involves children running errands to sup port household activities and ‘emotional parentification’ where the child becomes the emotional caretaker. In the latter case, parents offload their problems onto a child, unconsciously giving the message that emotional unburdening helps her feel better. In such cases the burden of a parent’s unhappiness shifts to the child. Some parents also tend to rope in children to mediate to solve their marital conflicts while some seek comfort in children during emotional breakdowns. Dr. Lisa M. Hooper, researcher and expert on parentification at the University of Northern Iowa, cautions that “children should not be serving the intimate needs of a parent, or placed in the role of secrets keeper.” According to Hooper, children are not equipped to handle heavily loaded adult emotional situations. In the short term, ‘parentified’ children tend to develop stress-related illnesses, eating disorders, and mental health problems. The impact is more serious in the long run. In the book, Lost Childhoods: The Plight of the Parentified Child by Gregory J. Jurkovic, the author explains how children pushed into role reversal are likely to experience anger, trust and relationship issues. If pushed prematurely out of childhood, they may harbour feelings of isolation from siblings/peers and even develop deep-seated resentment towards parents. Aaron Anderson, director of The Marriage and Family Clinic in Denver (USA), adds that an inverted relationship (where the parent does not take a lead position) causes emotional stunting in children. Observing a parent struggling with emotional maturity, prompts children to become dependent on others for their own stability, happiness and healing, he says. Boundaries work best Psychologists make the following suggestions for parents to avoid child parentification: Assign children age-appropriate responsibilities. Identify chores which are suitable for young children such as putting away their toys, cleaning their room, making their beds, feeding pets and watering plants. Older children can be entrusted with clearing the table, washing the dishes, doing the laundry or babysitting younger siblings. It is important to ensure that children are…
– Nikki Martyn is program head and Elena Merenda is assistant program head of early childhood studies at University of Guelph Humber Are children with enough stuff disappointed with presents? Modelling limits is a gift Disappointment is a natural human emotion aroused after perceived failure. For young children, perceived failure can look like not getting the toy they wanted, not being invited to a classmate’s birthday party or losing their favourite stuffed toy. It is essential for children’s mental health, well-being and overall development that they learn how to deal with disappointment. But this can be difficult for parents to manage, particularly around holidays that have become associated with consumerism, gift-giving and expectations. North American culture often mistakenly links love and happiness with material goods such as toys; the Santa story promises magical wish fulfilment. This can cause conflict for parents when children don’t get the ‘right’ gift. On holidays such as Xmas, Diwali, there’s social and personal pressure to provide happiness and joy to children through material gifts, which can be confused with providing necessities. For parents who do not have the resources to provide the perfect or desired gift this can cause additional stress, shame, guilt and fear built around disappointment. Parents may feel they have let down a child and that they have spoilt her experience and memory of their ‘special day’. This is especially true if a child has difficulty with or is learning to regulate emotions and expresses disappointment through tantrums or sulking. These behaviours can profoundly affect parents, often leading them to feel badly about themselves or feel that their child does not love them. Focus on traditions over gifts The holiday season should be about love, connection and spending time together. This is at the core of all family traditions and what children will remember and bring with them as they develop and eventually have their own families. Traditions and rituals are more important for creating meaning and a sense of belonging. Being a part of something greater than yourself or your immediate family and creating positive loving memories and security are important for children’s emotional, social and cognitive development. To help children understand the true meaning of a holiday season, you might revise your own traditions. Or you might like to create new family traditions that provide opportunities to connect with each other and your wider community. Experiences such as baking for others and donating to a food bank or toy drive can help children to understand that the holidays are for making a positive difference. Emphasize giving, not receiving Changing our focus from giving rather than receiving can help children develop and appreciate the strength of gratitude. Research has linked gratitude to significant health and wellness benefits such as improving self-esteem, improving sleep and developing empathy. The other thing to learn is that although disappointment feels awful, it is part of life and is actually a positive and healthy emotion central to children’s emotional, cognitive and social development throughout their lives.…
A recent study conducted by Rice University, USA, which could be surprising and revealing for parents fretting about the time their children spend on the Internet, indicates that more time spent on the Internet improves academic performance of students, especially in math, reading, writing, and social studies. Rice University researchers, who published the study in the Journal of Marketing Research (March), noted that the learning outcomes of students were better than of children with net connnectivity problems. “Investments in internet access provide clear and meaningful academic benefits. However, schools need to formulate clear policies to address increased disciplinary issues such as cyberbullying,” says Vikas Mittal, professor at Rice University. For the study, researchers created a multi-year dataset (2000-14) of 1,243 school districts representing 9,000 public schools in Texas. They measured Internet access spending, 11 academic performance indicators, and 47 types of school disciplinary problems. Also read: Why parents shouldn’t stress about their kid’s screen time during lockdown
The pandemic has resurrected the vintage proverb ‘necessity is the mother of invention’. One year on, as the Covid-19 pandemic takes its toll around the world, necessity has pushed homo sapiens to reinvent the way we live, eat, work, study, party and holiday. Latest information communication technologies are being adapted, applied and reshaped to ensure compliance with rules, laws and regulations related to lockdowns, social isolation and distancing. Offices and schools have gone digital with adults and children working and studying from home. Shopping, concerts, conferences, parties, weddings/ funerals, and food delivery services, have also gone online to eliminate in-person interaction. Likewise, the pandemic has reinvented leisure, travel and vacations. With long haul domestic and international travel becoming tedious and unsafe, new pandemic era vacation options such as staycations, workations, camping trips, home-cation, virtual tours among others, have emerged as safe options. For instance, Google, AirPano, and Panoramas offer virtual tours of the seven wonders of the world while the Google Arts & Culture project has digitized millions of objets d’ art of the most well-known museums of the world including The Louvre, Paris. Moreover, the pandemic has forced the newly liberated great Indian middle class to rediscover domestic tourism options which require less travel time. In this summer issue of ParentsWorld we present a guide to making the most of your family summer holidays in these pandemic times where the holiday/vacation is more desperately needed than ever before. There’s much else in this April issue. Check out the Early Adolescence story on why parents must avoid ‘parentification’ of children. In Activity Zone there’s a specially curated list of movies to develop emotional intelligence within children. Moreover, our highly-qualified columnists, the UKbased parenting expert Sue Atkins and well-known pediatrician Dr. C.N. Kamalarathnam, answer parents’ queries ranging from improving children’s concentration skills to breastfeeding troubles.
The cover story ‘Positive podcasting fever sweeping India’ was an enjoyable read (PW March). During the lockdown, I began listening to podcasts on health and fitness. I was amazed at the variety of podcasts available on subjects ranging from entertainment, books, education, business investments, to relationships and current affairs. And the best thing about podcasts is that you can listen to them while performing other tasks such as cleaning the house/cooking. And they are free-of-charge. I also liked your suggestion that parents should encourage children to become podcast creators rather than mere listeners. Especially since podcasting is a low-cost enterprise and all that’s required is a smartphone and a pair of headphones. My teenage son has recently taken an interest in F1 racing and is thinking of doing a podcast on this subject. Thanks for suggesting podcasting as a creative activity for children. Manju Kumar Bengaluru Excellent & relevant Thank you for publishing a very informative story on dental hygiene for toddlers (PW March). Parents need to be made aware that good oral health practices must begin from infancy to prevent tooth decay and gum disease. The common affliction of my children while growing up was dental caries. Thankfully I had access to an excellent paediatric dentist who guided and encouraged me to teach my boys good oral hygiene from early age. The most important of which is to teach children to brush their teeth correctly, twice a day. In this connection, your tips on making the daily tooth brushing routine of toddlers enjoyable, were excellent and relevant. Malini Rao Chennai Start reading habit early Thank you for the beautiful essay by Usha Mukunda on encouraging the reading habit in children (PW March). As a teacher, I believe in the power of repetition. And that is why we need to repeat and reiterate that ‘reading is important for children’. Reading develops vocabulary, increases attention span, and as Mukunda writes “brings wonder, joy and a deeper and wider understanding of the world around them”. With rising addiction of children to digital gadgets, it is becoming increasingly difficult for parents and teachers to get children to read. My suggestion is for parents to start early by reading bedtime stories to children. The earlier we start introducing them to books and reading, the better chance of hooking them onto reading. Also thank you for the excellent suggested reading list for 6-12-yearolds. It is an excellent starting point to introduce children to the joy and wonder of books. Rose Pratipa Hyderabad Expert mental well-being advice needed ParentsWorld is an excellent parenting magazine. I enjoy reading your informative pages. I request you to publish interviews with experts and counsellors on how parents can cope with the stress of managing work from home and child care duties. I am a working mother with two young children. The stress of managing office work and household chores as well as supervising my children’s online classes is getting to me. Now, with the country facing the second wave of…
Increasing students’ sense of ‘belongingness’ in school is critical for motivating them academically, says an Ohio State University study which surveyed more than 1,600 students over two years. The study published in the Journal of Educational Psychology (March) found that students’ motivation to learn improved in the second year. For example, the percentage of students who were self-motivated to learn rose from 8 percent in the first year to over 11 percent in the second. One reason why there was a positive shift in terms of motivation “may be simply because they’re a year older and more developmentally mature,” says the study report. Two other factors associated with higher levels of motivation in the second year include prior academic achievement and “school belongingness”. “This may be one area where we can help students become more motivated. Belongingness is something schools can change. They can find ways to make students feel they are part of the school community,” says Kui Xie, lead author of the study and professor of educational studies at Ohio State University.
Parents who micromanage and over-regulate children’s activities do more harm than good, says a study published in the Journal of Family Psychology (March). Lead researcher, Jelena Obradović, associate professor at the Stanford Graduate School of Education, and her team studied a group of 102 children aged four-six years and their primary caregivers over the course of two and a half hours at a Stanford lab. They found that, especially for children performing ’emotional tasks’, very involved parents asking questions, making suggestions, corrections, offering further instruction, resulted in children having more trouble and behavioural issues. “Parents have been conditioned to find ways to involve themselves, even when kids are on a task and actively playing or doing what they’ve been asked to do. Too much direct engagement can come at a cost to kids’ abilities to control their own attention, behaviour and emotions. When parents let kids take the lead in their activities, children practice self-regulation skills and build independence,” says Obradović who adds that parents shouldn’t interpret her study as being critical of parents engaged with children.
