Disciplining children in the New Millennium
Disciplining recalcitrant children has emerged as one of the biggest challenges confronting parents in the new age of mass consumerism. Should they spare the traditional rod and spoil the child, or ideate new solutions for disciplining children? -Sruthy Susan Ullas Arunima Rajeev, a 30-year-old Bangalore-based homemaker, has stopped going to grocery stores for shopping and switched to online purchases. That’s because an everyday shopping expedition with her five-year-old son, has become a nightmare. “As soon as we arrive at a store he starts demanding toys and chocolates and throws a temper tantrum when I refuse. I have spanked him on many occasions, feeling embarrassed at the time and terribly guilty later,” says Arunima. Most middle class parents in India and beyond, are experiencing similar problems with disciplining children. Disciplining recalcitrant children has emerged as one of the biggest challenges confronting parents in the new age of mass consumerism. Should they spare the traditional rod and spoil the child, or ideate new solutions for disciplining children? Although expert opinion is almost unanimous that corporal punishment negatively impacts children’s personality development and behaviour, for most parents the preferred method of disciplining children is spanking — once a formal ritual punishment administered on the buttocks, far removed from the vulnerable head area — which has since become a generic term for hitting, slapping, caning and administering other forms of physical punishment. In a pan-India survey conducted by the Early Childhood Association (ECA) of India, which has a membership of 6,500 preschools countrywide, together with the First Moms Club (FMC), an online community of mothers, and Born Smart, a video-based parenting website in February 2018, a majority of the 1,790 parents interviewed confessed to spanking their children regularly. The survey highlights that 77 percent of parents spank/hit/pinch their children for behavioural lapses with 11 percent admitting that physical punishment is inflicted daily. Of the sample respondents, 40 percent of male and women parents interviewed were professionally qualified and in full-time employment while the remainder were full-time homemakers. “It’s unfortunate that even in the 21st century so many well-educated parents continue to believe that by sparing the rod they are spoiling children. Our survey found that spanking children was the preferred form of disciplining them and it’s mothers who mostly practice it. As child rearing is mostly the responsibility of women with minimal participation from their husbands, this can be exhausting and overwhelming for them, particularly for working mothers who have to balance home and career. Women usually have to sacrifice their careers to mind the children and the latters’ temper tantrums irritate them easily, prompting them to spank and pinch. While most admit that corporal punishment is undesirable, they say they have no other alternative,” says Ruchita Shah, the Mumbai-based founder of First Moms Club and a mother of two boys. The ECA-FMC-Born Smart anti-spanking campaign broadcast on social media, which has gone viral, also includes parenting workshops and distribution of advisory booklets. Numerous celebrity parenting experts including Sue Atkins, UK-based author of Parenting…
