ParentsWorld December 2022 Archives

Ensuring children follow a balanced diet

PW invited parents of BD Memorial Jr School, Golf Garden, Kolkata to share insights on how they ensure their children follow nutritious diets From his early childhood, my son Shreyaan (class IV) has been a no-fuss foodie. He is fond of all types of food. I oblige him with nutritious homecooked meals in which I make an effort to include a variety of season’s greens, lentils, eggs and meat. Glued to his computer and engaged in minimum physical activity during the pandemic years, my son quickly put on weight. But now with online learning replaced by normal schooling and loads of physical activity, we are able to canalise Shreyaan’s energy effectively” — Susrita Banerjee, homemaker “As parents we understand the critical importance of a balanced diet. So we ensure vitamins, minerals, carbohydrates, protein and fat are adequate for our son Aryan (class V). As a working mother, I strictly monitor the daily meals menu to include as many greens and fresh fruit as possible, small measures of carbohydrates and protein, also keeping an eye on the proportion of oil/fat used to cook our meals to ensure Aryan’s fitness and well-being” — Chandrani Bose, process developer, Genpact, Kolkata “As soon as my son Krishnasish (class IV) wakes up in the morning, I make sure he drinks a full glass of water as I believe sufficient water is required for body cleansing and healthy digestion. Before leaving for school, I serve him a bowl of milk and cornflakes and alternatively a glass of channa sattu as sattu is rich in carbohydrates, proteins and minerals. On his return from school in the afternoon, I serve him a bowl of fresh fruit and also insist he eats some sour curd after lunch which helps his digestion” — Tina Kar, homemaker “I admit it has been a challenge to keep my four-year-old son Kian away from junk food because we ourselves find quick fixes to our cravings and serve our son the same. I realised we were setting a poor example for Kian and needed to change our diet urgently. To begin with, I started preparing his favourite junk food at home. Just a few healthy swaps and voila, Kian doesn’t crave for junk food anymore. As he grows older we will ensure he balances healthy food habits with a healthy lifestyle” — Tanushree Gupta, business analyst, Genpact, Kolkata

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Teaching children financial literacy

PW invited parents of DPS, Sector 45, Gurgaon to share how they teach children financial planning and literacy Like most parents, we give our daughter Sanaa (class IX) pocket money every month. Although we don’t control her spending, we advise her to spend it purposefully. Of late, our weekend outings include a trip to a book shop where she spends her pocket money. We also encourage Sanaa to save by contributing 50 percent towards any item she purchases for herself. We are now involving her in bigger decisions like helping to budget for our annual holiday. Sanaa is gradually learning to forego immediate gratification for bigger rewards later and also learning to value money and spending prudently” — Roohi Trehan, entrepreneur, Gurugram “We encouraged our son Sakshin (class VI) from age five to buy groceries from the neighbourhood store. This has introduced him to the world of money. We also explain to him how we invest money and manage risks, and the outcome of bad investment decisions. Sakshin currently has a bank account in which gift money received from his grandparents, uncles and aunts is deposited, apart from prize money. He keeps track of all transactions so he can purchase things he fancies. This has enabled him to understand the importance of managing expenses within a budget” — Suvasis Ghosh, head of client growth and development, SAM & Co, Gurugram “In Punjabi families like ours, shagun ke lifafe (packets of cash) are commonly exchanged between elders and children for safekeeping with parents. However when our son Ojsya (class IX) turned ten, he demanded his gift money. Although initially we agreed, we realised he needed to learn some financial planning and literacy. We also agreed that we would contribute an equivalent amount of his total gift money for investing in equities of his choice. Soon our daughter Advikaa (class V) also followed suit. Both are currently generating a return of 20 percent on their investment and improving their maths and financial literacy” — Sachin Chugh, partner, Singhi Chugh & Kumar, Chartered Accountants “In the pandemic years, everything was just a click away for my children Dhanika (11) and Bheeshajam (9) — from ordering groceries to paying bills and buying school stationery. I make them understand how money is deducted from our bank accounts with every click. When they became eligible for pocket money, they started saving a small percentage of their allowance to purchase what they fancied for themselves. I have seen their initial irritation turn into patience and smiles of satisfaction. With the right guidance and patience, children can quickly understand the value of money” — Dr. Vinita Malik, dentist, Smileeworks, Gurugram. Also read: Teaching children financial literacy for a lifetime of financial wellbeing

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Leisure & Travel

Heart of India’s Coffee Country

Given its salubrious year-round climate, neat and orderly coffee plantations and scenic country vistas, Coorg has emerged as a high-potential tourism destination Set under the thinning canopy of the Western Ghats in the south-west of Karnataka (pop. 63 million), Coorg is the heart of India’s coffee country. During high season (April-June), the entire district is enveloped in aroma of the roasted bean, the world’s most heavily traded commodity after crude oil. With its panoramic vistas, green valleys, thick forest cover, rolling hills and dales, Coorg is known as the Scotland of India for its wet and windy climate. Though one of Karnataka’s 31 districts, Coorg (pop. 596,718) covers a land area of 4,102 sq. km —four times larger than Hong Kong and seven times the area of Singapore, most of it under tree cover because unlike tea plants, the coffee bush requires shade. In a global agri-industry dominated by Brazil which produces 40 percent (3.5 million tonnes) of the world’s coffee output annually (cf. India’s 349,000 tonnes), India is acknowledged as the producer of finest mild coffees. With their tropical climate, high altitude (3,500 ft), abundant rainfall and fertile soil, Coorg and the neighboring Chikkmagaluru districts in Karnataka have consistently produced and exported high quality coffee for over 150 years. The coffee output of these two districts accounts for 70 percent of the total coffee produced in the country. In particular Coorg coffee is valued for its blue colour, clean beans and fine liquoring qualities and is in high demand in international markets (nearly 80 percent of the district’s coffee production is exported). The numerous coffee estates here are globally renowned for their arabica and robusta coffee beans which are blended to suit national and individual palates. In March and April — coffee blossom time in Coorg — the snow-white flowers of the coffee bush waft a heady fragrance and present unforgettable vistas to visitors. When blossoms transform into berries, the bushes are cropped. The cherry-red fruit is pulped, seeds separated, dried and sent for curing. A holiday on a coffee plantation can provide the visitor a heady first-hand education experience of the entire process of coffee production from harvest to shop shelf. But there’s more in Coorg or Kodagu (the name of the district in Kannada, the official language of Karnataka). This district is also one of the world’s largest producers of pepper, cardamom, and honey. Not much is known about the early history of Coorg. Recorded history is available only from 1600 AD onwards when Kodava rajas ruled over the region and established their capital at Mercara by constructing a mud-walled fort. The martial Kodavas confronted Hyder Ali and his son Tipu Sultan who ruled the Mysore region in the 18th century by way of sporadic rebellions and violent insurrections. But in 1785, Tipu’s large army marched into Kodagu and devastated the kingdom. Fourteen years later, with the help of the British who defeated Tipu Sultan following the historic siege of Srirangapatna in 1799, Coorg regained independence and…

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Halloween Hobgoblins

Lakshmi Narayan Once upon a time there was a grumpy old lady — actually not grumpy, but timid — who had to leave her home and go live with her daughter in a distant place known as Amreeka. She hated every minute of it there and barricaded herself in their cramped flat when her daughter left for work. They didn’t live in a particularly swish area because her beti didn’t earn much. The one time she had dared to venture out on her own, the neighbourhood kids — little goondas! — had followed her jeering, mocking her sari, her accent and the way she shuffled forward in her chappals. They’d thrown spitballs at her and tried to trip her when she tried to get past them. Worse, instead of chastising them, their mothers stood back and laughed. There was a reason behind this. The old lady prided herself on her green thumb and had managed to grow methi, dhania and sarson ka saag from seeds on her tiny balcony as well as onions, ginger and tomatoes. But the little ruffians when playing a game called baseball, sent a ball speeding in and broke two of her pots. She’d screamed at them in Hindi. But instead of apologizing, they’d stuck their tongues out and run off. When she complained to her daughter that evening, she dismissed it in her newly-acquired drawl, with, “Maa, don’t bother. Kids will be kids”. And now, her daughter was telling her about a ghastly festival called Halloween, when the little horrors would dress up like bhoots and land up at her doorstep, demanding candy! She shuddered at what would happen if she didn’t give them treats. It reminded her uncomfortably of the equally abominable celebration called Holi, back in her village. She used to shiver when she heard revellers bay at each other in hoarse voices, throwing coloured water and slapping each other’s faces with purple, pink, yellow and green powders, making them look like ghouls from hell. What was worse, after drinking their fill of thandai and eating bhang pakoras, her family would be lying supine on their charpoys outside, when a sudden shout — kale muh wale aa gaye (the black faces have come) — would send them scurrying to lock themselves in. To this day she didn’t know who they were or where they came from. But they were goons who would forcibly enter their homes and spray everything with paint if they didn’t pay up. And now it looked like the old shaitan was revisiting them in a new avatar right here! Looking at her stricken face, her daughter reassured her, “Don’t be hassled, Maa. They’ll only come if we invite them.” But the old lady wasn’t ready to take any chances and was determined to keep to herself in her room, with her windows and doors firmly shut. That evening, to occupy herself, she helped her daughter bake a mac ‘n’ cheese burger for dinner and some large biscuits with nuts…

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When your child fails to meet expectations

Cynthia John “I was always a topper in my school. I had my notes picture perfect and I was a model student. But my daughter is just the opposite — incomplete notes, complaints of daydreaming from her teachers and total disinterest in academic study. She doesn’t like extra curricular activities either. Every evening, homework time becomes a battle. I’m fed up with this!” laments Asha Krishnan, mother of Sumukhi (9). The causes of Sumukhi’s behaviour could be many. Parents find it hard to pinpoint, much less fix such problems. Heavy parental pressure to perform, learning disabilities which have gone unnoticed, and pleasant/unpleasant distractions at school are some of the common reasons behind children failing to live up to parents academic expectations. Parents world over dread the day they learn their child is not an A class student in school. Comparisons fly and frustrations mount. With such negative inputs, the child could end up with a failure mindset. With cases of depression and student suicides on the rise, here are three ways in which parents can help infuse confidence in their children, and help them deal with peer and school pressure. GET INVOLVED. Many parents proudly proclaim they have no clue what’s happening in their child’s school. The first step in helping out a failing child is to become thoroughly involved in her day-to-day life. You need to understand your child’s day at school — the friends she has, the subjects she learns and about her teachers. As you share your child’s day, you will be able to appreciate her challenges and help her out. Lower your expectations, and learn to appreciate your child for what she is. GET TALKING. Few parents make time to actually sit down to talk to their children. Once you have short-listed the issues, talk to your child about them — one at a time. Getting her to open up may be difficult, but a non-judgmental, casual attitude will help. Discuss and enable your child to ideate solutions for her problems. Work out routines and schedules jointly to help her focus and streamline her homework. Avail every opportunity to praise her with encouraging words. GET HELP. Problems beyond parental control have to be resolved with external help. It could mean a conversation with a strict teacher in school to help her understand your child’s sensitivity, or seeking the intervention of parents of the class bully to promote better relationships in school. Most importantly, if you suspect a learning disability when your child fails to meet expectations, don’t be ashamed or afraid to solicit professional help. Many minor learning problems can be solved with timely intervention. Ignoring or refusing to acknowledge them can multiply your child’s problems.

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Redefining ‘Learning’

Sunil Noronha You learn something new everyday. It’s now commonly accepted that learning happens 24×7. It’s a continuum that starts from the womb and never stops. It’s happening right now, as you read this article! The key to learning something new everyday is to redefine learning. Everything we see, every new experience, each new book, every movie we watch — they are all learning experiences. Learning involves anything we didn’t know before, or something we understand better. There are many things you can do to ensure continuous learning by your child. Here are a few ideas. TAKE OFF THE WEIGHT When a child is reading a book, the purpose shouldn’t be to memorise and internalise. This becomes a mental weight she has to bear while she learns. When she consciously reads to learn, she doesn’t read calmly, peacefully and unhurriedly. She does it just so that she can get done with it. Children should be encouraged to read without worrying about whether or not they will be able to remember what they read. Our minds naturally pick up information from the environment — in this case, from the book being read. LET THE MIND WORK The human mind works best if we don’t hinder its natural process. To do this, ensure your child reads in a relaxed manner. After she’s done, she may repeat it to you/herself in the way she best remembers it. This way, she associates a story with the characters, or concepts with information. This way, she won’t merely ‘mug’ information, but will use cues within a story to remember and understand it better. Memories are created when synaptic connections in the brain are stimulated or existing ones are strengthened. As a child attempts to recall a story, her synapses get stronger. More re-reads of a book under stress-free conditions, followed by this process, will help her remember and understand better. Of course, this is not the ideal process for the night before the exam, but a new learning process that can be gradually become the norm. INDULGE AND ENJOY LEARNING By keeping the learning process light, and reading with the mind’s natural process of learning, your child can enjoy what she learns. She will discover the joy of it and pursue it on her own — and not just limit it to class textbooks. Her basic approach to knowledge and learning will change. Developing the right attitude towards learning in early childhood can kindle the joy of knowledge and push children in the right direction. True, learning this way does not necessarily bring highest marks, but it will help your child enjoy the process of learning throughout life. Reading more, research and self-exploration can become voluntary when learning becomes a pleasure. So let the learning adventure begin!

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Heart to Heart

Cynthia John Hello Parents! It’s not unusual to meet youngsters unwilling to conform with formal schooling systems. A growing number of smart and savvy students are disillusioned with the annual scramble for marks and grades, and rebel against the system in differing ways. Recently I met a class X teen who refused to write his exams, although he was a good student. His parents had been strict, and demanding, which was part of the cause of his rebellion. Later he continued his education through the open schooling system, and signed up for a vocational course. Another rebel completed her engineering diploma, then switched streams to work as a successful copywriter in several advertising agencies. Tech-savvy kids are beginning to think more about the way the new world works, and aren’t always as patient as the previous generation. The rising incidence of such rebellions should prompt introspection on parenting styles. Parents do their best to ensure that their children study hard and qualify for admission into top ranked higher education institutions. In most such cases, it isn’t parenting efforts that are to blame, but parenting style. Often it isn’t failure of guidance but that rebellious children are cut from a different cloth. Parents should view such rebellion not as the end of education, but perhaps a new beginning. Indeed it’s high time parents learnt to acknowledge the advantages of joyful learning, unblemished by the scramble for marks, rank and prestige. We need to accept the open schooling, home schooling, vocational training and apprenticeship options. If a child becomes aware that she has the aptitude for a totally unconventional vocation, why not keep the option open? Surely 20 years later, you don’t want your child to regret being an engineer instead of an artist. Idea Box Kids who dare to dream As children survey the world around them, they naturally want to emulate people they admire — teachers, sports stars, actors, astronomers. They become interested in computers, spaceships, fire engines, and want to design them. These aspirations may not conform with their syllabus for the year, but arise out of confidence that such goals are realisable. Children should be encouraged to cultivate interests and hobbies beyond textbooks. They should be encouraged to mingle with all types of people, without being fettered by preconceptions that the best vocations are those that provide good money, stability, and social prestige. If allowed to dream freely, they will be motivated to pursue their dreams, whether it involves doing their best in history, or opting for vocational programmes.

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Opposites attract with Antiphrasis

Literature abounds with examples of antiphrasis that enables writers to convey irony, writes Roopa Banerjee With the winter bringing with it cold, cough, flu and viral infections of all types, parents are anxious about children catching them. A good way to prepare children to repulse virus attacks is to build and strengthen their bodily immunity. The immune system is a repository of chemicals, antibodies, and white blood cells which combat viruses and diseases entering the body. Thus, strengthening your child’s immune system equips her with ammunition to fight viruses. While a healthy, nutritious diet and regular physical exercise are essential for building bodily immunity, most people are unaware that several yoga exercises such as rhythmic breathing, pranayama, and kriyas can strengthen the immune system. These yoga exercises improve heart function, digestion, boost lung capacity, blood circulation, and build body strength, and flexibility. Here are some lesser known yoga practices that are especially useful in building children’s immune systems. Jalaneti Kriya. Lukewarm salt water is poured into the nostrils. A Jal Neti pot with a spout is used to pour water into one nostril. The water runs slowly from the left nostril to the right and is flushed out. This alleviates colds, allergic rhinitis, sinusitis, throat infection, and respiratory problems such as wheezing, asthma, etc. It also improves hearing and vision. Kapalabhati or abdominal breathing is a type of pranayama characterised by subdued inhalations and short, powerful exhalations. It cleanses the respiratory system and improves blood circulation, reducing stress and fatigue. It also improves body posture. Square breathing aka box breathing is defined by equal time intervals for inhaling, holding, and exhaling one’s breath. This regulates breathing. It stabilises lymphocyte levels, thus building immunity. Here’s how to practise square breathing: Exhale to a count of four. Hold your lungs for four counts. Inhale for four counts. Hold breath for four counts. Exhale for four counts. Meditation. Silent meditation in sitting posture with closed eyes slows the body, boosts the parasympathetic nervous system, and reduces stress levels, thereby enhancing immunity in children. NB. Yoga needs to be done the right way. The assistance of a yoga practitioner to guide you through these and other exercises is strongly recommended. (Smriti Sivakumar is a yoga practitioner at 6AM Yoga, Bengaluru)

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Nutritious beetroot recipes

This red root is a nutrients-filled vegetable rich in vitamins A, C and B9, and minerals such as manganese and potassium. It can be used multfariously to add flavour to popular foods. Try out these healthy, appetising beetroot recipes, writes Ramiya Saktivel Beetroots boost functioning of the heart and lungs during exercise and sports. They are also rich in folic acid, which prevents damage to blood vessels, improving cardiovascular health. Their high fibre content also fights constipation and lowers blood pressure. BEETROOT JUICE INGREDIENTS • 1 small beetroot • 1 apple • 1 carrot • ½ lemon • ½ cm ginger piece • 2 tsp jaggery powder PREPARATION GUIDE • Wash all fruits and vegetables well. • Peel and cut into small pieces and blend in a mixer with the ginger. • Add jaggery powder and blend again. • Squeeze lemon into juice and stir well. BEETROOT PARATHA INGREDIENTS • 3 medium-sized beetroots • 3 cups wheat flour • 1 tsp ajwain • ½ tsp red chilli powder • ½ tsp garam masala • ¼ tsp turmeric powder • 1 tsp ghee PREPARATION GUIDE • Peel and skin beetroots, wash and chop into 2-inch pieces. • Put chopped beetroots into a pressure cooker. Cook for two steams. Once cool, puree them in a blender without water. • Add wheat flour, pureed beetroot, ajwain, turmeric powder, red chilli powder, garam masala, ghee and salt in a bowl. Mix well. • Make a smooth dough with little warm water. Apply some oil on the dough and set aside for 10-15 minutes. • Make equal size balls from the dough. Roll the parathas using a roller. Then spread oil or ghee on it. • Heat a tawa on medium heat and cook paratha. Drizzle some ghee on it. • Serve beetroot paratha with yoghurt, pickle, raita, or gravy BEETROOT POPS INGREDIENTS • 3 medium-sized beetroots • 2 medium-sized potatoes • 1 carrot • 4 beans • ¼ tsp chilli powder • 4 tbsp cornflour • ½ cup breadcrumbs • 300 ml sunflower oil • Methi • Salt to taste PREPARATION GUIDE • Chop carrot and beans into small bits and boil until well cooked. • Pressure cook beetroots and potatoes. • Peel beetroots and potatoes and keep in a bowl, making sure to drain excess water. • Mash well, adding salt to taste. • Add cooked carrot and beans. Add chilli powder and mix well. • Knead the mixture and make balls. • Mix cornflower with water to make a thick paste. • Heat oil in a cauldron. Dip balls in cornflower and bread crumbs and fry. • Drain on tissue paper. Insert a toothpick into each ball. • Serve with green chutney or other sauce.

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Yoga improves children’s immunity

There are several yoga exercises such as rhythmic breathing, pranayama, and kriyas which strengthen children’s immune system, writes Smriti Sivakumar With the winter bringing with it cold, cough, flu and viral infections of all types, parents are anxious about children catching them. A good way to prepare children to repulse virus attacks is to build and strengthen their bodily immunity. The immune system is a repository of chemicals, antibodies, and white blood cells which combat viruses and diseases entering the body. Thus, strengthening your child’s immune system equips her with ammunition to fight viruses. While a healthy, nutritious diet and regular physical exercise are essential for building bodily immunity, most people are unaware that several yoga exercises such as rhythmic breathing, pranayama, and kriyas can strengthen the immune system. These yoga exercises improve heart function, digestion, boost lung capacity, blood circulation, and build body strength, and flexibility. Here are some lesser known yoga practices that are especially useful in building children’s immune systems. Jalaneti Kriya. Lukewarm salt water is poured into the nostrils. A Jal Neti pot with a spout is used to pour water into one nostril. The water runs slowly from the left nostril to the right and is flushed out. This alleviates colds, allergic rhinitis, sinusitis, throat infection, and respiratory problems such as wheezing, asthma, etc. It also improves hearing and vision. Kapalabhati or abdominal breathing is a type of pranayama characterised by subdued inhalations and short, powerful exhalations. It cleanses the respiratory system and improves blood circulation, reducing stress and fatigue. It also improves body posture. Square breathing aka box breathing is defined by equal time intervals for inhaling, holding, and exhaling one’s breath. This regulates breathing. It stabilises lymphocyte levels, thus building immunity. Here’s how to practise square breathing: Exhale to a count of four. Hold your lungs for four counts. Inhale for four counts. Hold breath for four counts. Exhale for four counts. Meditation. Silent meditation in sitting posture with closed eyes slows the body, boosts the parasympathetic nervous system, and reduces stress levels, thereby enhancing immunity in children. NB. Yoga needs to be done the right way. The assistance of a yoga practitioner to guide you through these and other exercises is strongly recommended. (Smriti Sivakumar is a yoga practitioner at 6AM Yoga, Bengaluru)

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Tarotscopes: Forecast for July 15-August 15

Tarotscopes: Forecast for December 15-January 15

Chandana Chavan is a Bangalore-based tarot card reader with over 15 years of experience and special interest in parenting. Instagram:@mystic.muse.tarot

Forecast for December 15-January 15

ARIES: 5 of Pentacles

You need to believe that your child will succeed in life. You have done all you can. It’s time to let go. Allow her the freedom to venture forth […]

Structural Engineer: Enviable profession to be in

With public, private and foreign investment pouring into infrastructure projects, there’s sustained demand for professionally qualified structural engineers The rapid urbanisation of India requires massive investment in highways, roads, power, construction, and infrastructure industries. Inevitably, demand for professionally qualified structural engineers needed to build the required infrastructure is set to skyrocket. Structural engineering is a specialised field within civil engineering. It’s the science and art of constructing huge, capital-intensive projects capable of withstanding the forces of nature and discharging their functions with safety, durability and economy. The field encompasses the completion of residential, commercial, educational and recreational buildings, besides bridges, stadia, ports, dams and aqueducts — just about every type of ‘structure’. A structural engineer manages technicians and workers on a project site and discharges the duties of planning and overseeing construction and/or maintenance of buildings, bridges and other structures, within budgeted periods and expenditure. The minimum eligibility for admission into a BE/ B.Tech in civil engineering study programme with specialisation in structural engineering is Plus Two science (physics, chemistry and math). Entry into engineering colleges is usually on the basis of performance in entrance tests such as IIT-JEE or competitive state-level CETs (common entrance tests). For admission into the National Institutes of Technology (NITs) formerly known as Regional Colleges of Engineering, success in IIT-JEE is a prerequisite. After graduation, students often continue their studies by signing up for the ME/M.Tech programme offered by most engineering colleges/universities including IITs and NITs. STUDY PROGRAMMES. The aggregate number of approved institutions offering undergraduate and postgrad engineering education in India is estimated at 3,500. Of them, 700 offer degree programmes in civil engineering (of whom about 100 offer specialisation in structural engineering). Together these institutions graduate nearly 18,000 structural engineers annually — a number far short of the demand for 100,000 civil/structural engineers. Among the most respected engineering colleges offering certification in civil engineering with specialisation in structural engineering are the 15 Indian Institutes of Technology (IITs); BITS, Pilani; VJTI, Mumbai; Sardar Patel College of Engineering, Pune; Delhi College of Engineering, and University of Roorkee. REMUNERATION PROSPECTS. With public, private and foreign investment pouring into infrastructure projects, there is sustained demand for professionally qualified structural engineers within the economy, resulting in a quantum leap of over 40 percent in average remuneration during the past two years. Indian structural engineers are also in high demand in Asian, African and Middle East countries. Currently, professionally qualified structural engineers command starting salaries ranging between Rs.4-21 lakh per annum, depending on their qualifications and work sites. “There are excellent job opportunities for qualified structural engineers in the public and private sectors. Of late, several large multinational engineering corporates are mopping up available talent by offering huge pay packages which Indian companies can’t match. It’s an enviable profession to be in at the moment,” says Uday Chande, the promoter-proprietor of U.D. Chande Consulting Engineers, Surveyors & Valuers, a Mumbai-based firm promoted in 1979. PROFESSIONAL PROFILE. A civil engineering graduate of the Maharaja Sayajirao (MS) University, Baroda with a…

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Mental well-being App Suggestions

With teenage children subject to numerous pressures – academic, peer, social media, body image, etc – ensuring their mental and emotional well-being has emerged as a big ticket issue for 21st century parents. We recommend two apps to help teens cope with anxiety and promote mental well-being. Also recommended is app to ease children into learning foreign languages, writes Johanna Preeti Shama M. MindShift CBT — Anxiety Relief This app is designed to assist teens to cope with anxiety. It functions as a digital coach counseling them through difficult situations. The software, designed in conjunction with Anxiety Canada, teaches users to relax and assists them in identifying practical ways to control anxiety. It explains anxiety symptoms, suggests relaxation exercises, assesses user anxiety levels in specific situations, and recommends coping skills. Specific tools also assist teens to address problems of sleep quality, pursuit of perfectionism, and conflict resolution. Memrise In the globalised world of the 21st century, fluency in multiple languages is an invaluable asset. Memrise is a popular app offering foreign language learning programmes. Co-founded by Ed Cooke, a Grand Master of Memory and Greg Detre, a Princeton neuroscientist, the app has a scientific yet practical approach to language learning. It has helped over 60 million users learn foreign languages. Memrise offers more than 20 foreign languages learning programmes. It provides practical, useful phrases and sentences to enable people to conduct everyday conversations. It also includes videos featuring native speakers to help learners get pronunciation right. The app’s user interface is easy to navigate. Learners can set and track simple goals such as learning ten words per day or ten sentences per week. Together AI This mental health and wellness app for families promises to help to “raise your children in a secure, healthy, and happy environment”. It employs machine learning to assist parents and children in identifying and comprehending child emotions to enable the family to work together to ideate solutions. Designed by a team of healthcare experts and specialists, TogetherAI takes a strengths-based approach to mental health and wellness. It assists parents to teach children how to interact purposefully with the world to develop healthy relationships, positive emotions, communication, and coping skills.

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My daughter is being bullied. HELP!

My 15-year-daughter who is slightly overweight, is being bullied by her friends because of it. I tried many ways to console her but to no avail. How can I help her? — Malathy Sukumar, Chennai As a first step, express empathy. Then, encourage her to ideate solutions to the bullying situation and discuss their pros and cons together. Share your perspective too. Advise her not to react and respond aggressively when she is subjected to harsh comments. Often aggressive verbal or non-verbal reactions provide the bully more power. Rehearse different bullying scenarios together and her response to them. My six-year-old son talks in his sleep. Mostly, we can’t make out what he is saying. Is this normal or should I be worried? — Shefali Sinha, Mumbai It’s not uncommon for children to talk in their sleep. He could be excited or worried about a forthcoming event such as a school test, holiday, etc. My advice is to refrain from telling him about his sleep talking habit as it can make him anxious and adversely affect his sleep. Instead, speak and discuss casually with him about what you heard while he talked in his sleep. Children usually outgrow this habit. My son (10) has started keeping secrets from me. When he is caught doing something he isn’t supposed to be doing, he chooses to lie. I have tried to educate him, but he still persists with this behaviour. How can I resolve this problem? — Geetu Singh, Delhi Often pre-teen children want their personal space, independence, and want to resolve problems themselves, which is why they may keep secrets or lie. As a parent, you need to be calm and restrained as angry outbursts and lecturing sessions will be unproductive. The best way to resolve this is by initiating a one-on-one discussion during which you share your concerns. You could perhaps say: “I feel hurt because you told me something which was not true or I felt bad that you did not tell me the truth.” But make sure the discussion doesn’t become about you, it’s about him. He hasn’t lied to hurt you intentionally. Encourage him to see the problem from your perspective and that his persistent untruthfulness will make it difficult for you to trust him again. My 17-year-old son enjoys gossiping about his friends. I know this is not a desirable character building trait but I hesitate to tell him to stop because I don’t want to offend him. Please advise. — Mrinalini Vinay, Bengaluru There’s no quick fix here. You need to invest time and effort to build an emotional connect and rapport with your son. Start by spending quality exclusive time with him every day. During these one-on-one sessions, encourage him to reflect upon his gossip habit and share your perspective in a non-judgmental manner. With teens, you need to suggest and discuss; teaching, telling and preaching is unlikely to work. (Rajat Soni is a New Delhi-based teen-life and parenting coach and author of Un-Judge Your…

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My two-year-old is suffering from constipation. HELP!

My two-year-old daughter is not willing to eat fibre-rich food and consequently suffers constipation. Please advise. — Vandana Shankar, Mumbai Infants fed only soft or semi-solid foods often experience difficulty adjusting to food that needs chewing. But it’s important to introduce her to different types of food. Introduce new foods when she is hungry. You can also add chewable pieces of food in soup and porridge. Make new food attractive by serving in a favourite bowl. Bananas, mangoes and apples, and other fruits provide good fibre. Chappatis and oats also aid digestion. Follow a daily meals time routine as it ensures regular bowel and bladder movement. My five-year-old son keeps crying for everything and due to this his throat has become sore. How do I help him? — Joli Sarkar, New Delhi Firstly, you need to identify the cause of his persistent crying and ideate ways to manage the situation. Young children tend to express their problems and frustrations through crying. Therefore it’s of utmost importance you investigate, understand and address the cause. In this case, it may be possible that he might be crying because of constant throat pain. Also check if he cries when urinating and if his abdomen is bloated. If you notice any of these symptoms, consult a paediatrician. To soothe a sore throat, you can give him warm drinking water. If it doesn’t improve, consult your doctor to rule out tonsillitis. My five-year-old son is able to understand what I say but takes a long time to reply. Is there cause for worry? — Reenu Mathur, Chennai There could be several reasons for his delayed response. He may have difficulty with hearing, comprehension, or communication. Before reaching any conclusion, consult a paediatrician to evaluate him thoroughly. If he suspects a problem, he will refer you to a speech therapist or special educator for overall assessment. Early identification of speech problems is critical for intervention and treatment. (Dr. Gauthami B. is a general physician at Ferticare Clinic, Bangalore)

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Mindfulness is the new mantra for Parents

Practising mindfulness is highly recommended to 21st century parents weighed down by the multifarious challenges of raising children in the age of ubiquitous social media, writes Aruna Raghuram Mindfulness is more than a trendy buzzword in this age of high-stress lifestyles. It’s being increasingly acknowledged by scientists, psychologists and wellness experts as the prerequisite of mental and emotional well-being. Defined as the art of “maintaining a moment-by-moment awareness of our thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment, through a gentle, nurturing lens” (Prof. Jon Kabat-Zinn, University of Massachusetts Medical School), mindfulness is rapidly evolving into a popular form of meditation practised by a growing number of adults. In particular, practising mindfulness is highly recommended to 21st century parents weighed down by the multifarious challenges of raising children in the age of ubiquitous social media. “Mindfulness is a state of mind: one of calmness, gratitude, and compassion. For instance when you resolve to accept whatever comes your way without passing judgement, it’s a mindful practice. While formal practices include focusing on regulating breathing and meditation, you can informally practise mindfulness in daily life. For example, you can eat, walk and cook mindfully. For parents in particular, practicing mindfulness has many benefits. It helps to slow and calm them, listen to and accept children’s opinions without judgement and most importantly reduces anxiety and stress,” says Subha Parthasarathy, a Bengaluru-based parents counsellor and trainer. Indeed there’s no dearth of anecdotal and scientific evidence to support the beneficial correlation between mindfulness and positive parenting. A 2016 study on mindfulness and parenting, published in the Journal of Child and Family Studies, concluded that “increasing evidence supports the relevance of mindfulness in parenting”. The study which surveyed mothers of preschool children found a significant positive correlation between mindfulness and parenting and negative correlation between mindfulness and stress, depression and anxiety. Mindful parenting was strongly linked with reduced stress specific to the role of a mother, to parent-child interactions and perceptions about children. Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, professor of medicine at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center, USA, and co-author (with his wife Myla Kabat-Zinn) of Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting (1998), is a strong proponent of parents practising mindfulness to improve parent-child interaction and bonding. The key to mindful parenting, they write, is “acknowledging and supporting the sovereignty of children” which helps build “self-acceptance, self-esteem, self-confidence and trust in his/her own true nature”, in them. Sindhuri Ananth, who works for a not-for-profit school in Bengaluru and is the mother of five-year-old Aadith, swears by the benefits of mindful parenting after completing a six-week online course of the University of California Los Angeles (UCLA) in daily mindfulness. “Practising mindfulness has helped to control my emotions and has calmed me down. It has prompted me to be more child-led in my parenting. Today, I make it a point to listen to my son and put his needs first. For instance, Aadith is an introvert and doesn’t socialise easily. Mindfulness has taught me to be patient with…

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2023: Starting positively & purposively

In this special year-end issue, we bring to you curated actionable advice from a panel of reputed psychologists, nutritionists, parenting and lifestyle coaches to develop seven habits and skills to improve family life, especially children’s health and well-being in the year ahead With the death-raining Covid-19 pandemic cloud, which devastated the lives and livelihoods of thousands of families in 2020-2021, having almost vanished, 2022 was a year of recovery and renewal. Children and students are back in their classes in education institutions across the spectrum from pre-primaries to universities, and adults have transitioned from work-from-home to formal workplaces. Now in the season of peace on earth and goodwill to men, fresh buds of hope indicate that 2023 will be a big bounce back year for India. Traditionally the New Year is a time to make resolutions, even if they are soon forgotten. According to a survey conducted by the San Francisco (USA)-based Strava Fitness, which analysed 98.3 million user-logged activities on its app, most people forget their New Year resolutions by January 19. Nevertheless, psychologists, parenting and lifestyle coaches advise children and adults to make New Year resolutions and set goals. “For most people, following through their New Year resolutions is tough. But it’s good to set goals and resolve to change for the better. Transforming resolutions into priorities and goals gives direction to a person’s life and enables self-improvement in chosen areas. Better still, for this new year I have advised families to set collective and individual goals for healing and bonding after the pandemic,” says Ritu Hirani, psychotherapist, NLP master practitioner, life coach and founder of ShineSpace Life Coaching Services, Bengaluru. Therefore in this special year-end issue, we bring to you curated actionable advice from a panel of reputed psychologists, nutritionists, parenting and lifestyle coaches to develop seven habits and skills to improve family life, especially children’s health and well-being, in 2023. SET GOALS Goal-setting is an important skill-set which should be taught from early years. “Goal-setting for children is important because it gives them a sense of purpose that can improve their confidence and build self-esteem. It also helps them to focus and make better decisions. Along with this, goal-setting can be used to motivate children by ensuring they achieve small goals on a regular basis. Kids who have goals do better in life than kids with no plan at all. Teach your children the necessity of goalsetting and how to go about it,” says an essay published in childwatch.com, an app which helps parents manage childcare duties. Ritu Hirani advises parents and children to make a list of goals from which they should short-list five prime goals for 2023. Underline one or two which are the most important. Maintain a journal to list long-term, yearly, monthly and daily goals. “For instance, if your child wants to become a tennis champion, after defining annual and monthly goals, narrow it down to a daily goal that includes minimum hours of practice, nutrition and sufficient sleep. Thus, the overall…

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Heart disease kills 78,000 infants annually

Heart disease kills 78,000 infants annually An estimated 78,000 infants born with congenital heart disease die annually in India “due to inadequate healthcare facilities and lack of awareness”, says top cardiac surgeon Dr. Ramakanta Panda, Group CEO, Asian Heart Institute (AHI), Mumbai. In contrast, in advanced Western countries, the number of children dying from heart failure or related problems has dropped by 50 percent. “Paediatric heart failure is a pressing issue as it is a prime cause of death in children under age five the world over. Moreover, children with heart failure face a higher mortality rate in emergency situations compared with adults,” said Dr. Panda, speaking to the media in Mumbai on the eve of Children’s Day (November 14). Dr. Panda advises pregnant women to take several precautions to reduce the risk of children developing heart ailments. Among them: no drinking or smoking including passive smoking; regular vaccinations; managing chronic health issues; checking blood-sugar levels, taking multi-vitamins and consulting a doctor before taking medication. Indian teens face high risk of drug abuse “Teenage children in India are at increased risk of drugs and alcohol abuse because of poor mental and physical health the outcome of violence, exploitation and sexual abuse”, said Billy Batware, programme officer of the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC), speaking at the International Forum on Children Matter — Right to a Drug-Free Childhood held in Trivandrum on November 16-18. According to Batware, 13.1 percent of the population indulging in drug and substance abuse in India are below 20 years of age. “Nine out of 10 people with drug addiction begin using substances before they are 18 years old,” said Batware. Batware added that UNODC has defined “harnessing the transformative power of youth and children as one of its three cross-cutting commitments”. He called for “stepping up community intervention and establishing preventive mechanisms targeting adolescents”. Also speaking on the occasion, Arun Kandasamy, professor of psychiatry, Centre for Addiction Medicine, NIMHANS, Bengaluru, said that 70 percent of adolescents indulging in substance abuse have a family history of addiction. “Adolescents, who are a high-risk group for addiction, often come too late to treatment. If they can be identified and treated early, many complications can be addressed,” said Kandasamy. Children have sophisticated ability to forgive others Teaching children to appreciate other perspectives makes it easier for them to learn to forgive, says a recent study conducted by North Carolina State University, USA. The study, led by Kelly Lynn Mulvey, associate professor of psychology at the university, also found that teaching children to render sincere apologies helps them receive forgiveness. Mulvey and her team of researchers interviewed 185 children, between the ages of five and 14 to assess their ‘theory of mind’ skills — the capability to understand other people’s beliefs, intentions and desires different from their own. “We found that children have sophisticated abilities to forgive others. They are capable of restoring relationships with others, and are usually interested in doing so. One of the biggest implications…

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Challenging to manage new-borns I am mother to a one-year-old baby girl. Your story on the importance of sleep in infancy was an eye-opener (PW November). It’s amazing to learn that it’s during sleep that crucial brain and physical development happens. Your suggestions to improve infants’ sleep were excellent. As a new mom, I am struggling to make sense of the rapid changes happening in the early years. Also it’s very challenging to comfort infants when they are unwell. Please publish more stories about how parents should manage new-borns especially in terms of health and well-being. Simi Deepak Mumbai Timely & relevant advice I have always believed that the Indian education system kills children’s creativity. Your cover story ‘Unlocking children’s inherent creativity’ (PW November) confirmed this line of thought. In our schools, rote learning for exams is given highest priority. From a young age our children are forced to accept that the right answer is the one that is written in the textbook and/or told by the teacher. If you think originally, you are penalised. Some schools are trying to change this by adopting learning-by-doing teaching methods. But the change is too slow and gradual. That’s why your cover story advising parents to get actively involved in unlocking children’s inherent creativity is timely and relevant. Parents need to take the lead to create a home environment which encourages creative thinking in children. Meena Iyer Chennai Inspiring example Thanks for an interesting cover story on unlocking children’s inherent creativity (PW November). I was especially inspired by the story of Andaman-based inventor Dipankar Das who began making toys from mud when he was in class I and has gone on to invent several innovative products such as a solar pulse thresher and deep freeze device for fishermen. It’s commendable that Das has used his talent to invent products to simplify the lives of local farmers and fishermen. Our children need to read similar inspiring stories of young people who are making a difference to the world. Meenakshi Rajan Bengaluru Online safety information need Thanks for the essay ‘Protecting tweens from sexual abuse’ (PW November). It had some useful advice on how parents should balance child safety and independence and the importance of honest discussions with tweens about child sexual abuse. Though the authors also touched upon online safety, I believe because the internet and social media are ubiquitous today, you need to do a separate in-depth story. Parents need to know more about the dangers of dating apps and websites. Children especially tweens are very vulnerable to sexual predators prowling the dark worldwide web. Installing and activating child protective software is very important. Divya Tripathi Delhi Recipes suggestions I enjoy reading (and trying) your recipes. The latest recipes featuring chickpeas were excellent. Most parents like me are at their wits ends trying to rustle up a variety of snacks which are healthy and nutritious. Some suggestions would be most welcome. Munira Dasgupta Kolkata Stamina boosting recommendations Your Health story on ‘Boosting your…

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Letter from managing editor

With the prolonged nightmare of the Covid-19 pandemic fast receding into a bad dream, despite headwinds of inflation and rising unemployment, the national mood — as testified in the high voters turnout in the recently concluded legislative assembly elections in several states — is upbeat. There is palpable hope and expectation that 2023 will be the year of India’s great bounce back. Proof of great expectations is provided by stock market indices having hit at an all-time high and India’s GDP growth trending highest worldwide, China included. The mood in ParentsWorld is also upbeat with expectation that 2023 will be an inflection point for this publication committed to improving family bonding and children’s health and well-being. In this end of the year issue we suggest seven golden resolutions to get the New Year off to a flying start. But there’s more to health and happiness than pious resolutions. Read our cover story to learn the art of transforming resolutions into priorities and actionable goals. In our second lead feature (Middle Years) we highlight the rising popularity of mindful parenting. With 21st century parents weighed down by multifarious challenges of raising children in the age of ubiquitous social media, psychologists and lifestyle coaches advise them to slow and calm down, listen to and accept children’s opinions without judgement to reduce anxiety and stress. There’s much else in this issue of PW. Check out the Health essay on how practicing yoga improves children’s immune systems. And in our informative ‘Ask your counselor’ and ‘Ask the doctor’ columns, experts answer parents queries ranging from child bullying to remedies for sore throat and stomach ailments. Wishing all PW readers a great start to 2023!

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