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ParentsWorld October 2023

Mehaboob Zahra K - UKG

Inspirational role models for children

PW invited parents of M S Dhoni Global School, Hosur to share the names of role models they recommend to their children “I personally draw immense inspiration from the dedicated life and achievements of India’s ‘rocket woman’ Dr. Ritu Karidhal from small town Lucknow who played a significant role in the country’s critical Mars orbital mission Mangalyaan, Chandrayaan I and Chandrayaan II missions. I invariably mention her name at home so it raises the curiosity of my young daughter R. Jyoshnaa Raju (class II). Today she is her role model” — S. Uma, government high school teacher “The role model I recommend to my young daughter Mehaboob Zahra K (UKG) to is Indian origin CEO of internet behemoth Google, Sundar Pichai. Despite his modest middle-class upbringing, Pichai’s technology prowess, diligence and courage to succeed has taken him a long way. His inspirational journey and multiple achievements show the endless possibilities that life can bring one’s way. I sincerely hope my daughter is motivated enough to pursue excellence in everything she does” — B. Hassin Sharmeli, homemaker “Most role models children look up to are their caregivers. For instance my daughter Hasini Raja (class IX) idolizes her father, as she believes he has all the values that any daughter could dream of in an individual. According to her, he is a hardworking person who despite facing unimaginable obstacles in early life continues to persevere to support the family. Caregivers apart, my daughter is also immensely inspired by the late Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, and her school chairman Mr Chandrasekar.” — Dhiravidamani, senior quality analyst, The Lead People “I believe children’s most important role models should be their grandparents. My father-in-law is extremely well-organised and an excellent planner. He is a calm and composed individual, who analyzes the pros and cons of every situation before taking a decision. My mother-in-law is also adept at prioritising tasks. My son KY.Srinav (class VII) looks up to them for inspiration and follows them” — Y. Swetha, homemaker

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Kids reading book

Mom With Limitless Books

Minu Sarin was a Mom who loved books. And both her children — Veena (6) and Ashutosh (10) — loved them too. Minu always found it a challenge to afford all the books she bought. She did not want to spend too much. So she started the ’10-book Club’. To kickstart the club, she bought a set of 10 books for her children. She invested in a set of ten books just once. Here’s how her club works. She buys a set of 10 books initially. Every member of the 10-book Club does the same. When her children are through with them, she exchanges the set with another 10-book Club member. So next month, she has 10 new books for her kids. The following month, she exchanges them with another club member and gets 10 more books. The only effort she puts in is to keep telling other moms about the club, so they can sign up. It’s simple, and it works. Why not give it a shot? Also read: 5 Books that can help expand children’s perception

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A shadow of a doubt with Aporia

Roopa Banerjee “To be, or not to be: that is the question.” — William Shakespeare, Hamlet In the world of literature, authors use a diverse array of literary devices to engage readers, stir up emotions, and explore complex themes. One such intriguing literary device is aporia, a rhetorical and narrative technique that creates uncertainty or puzzlement in the story. It is demonstration of real or pretended doubt and confusion, used for symbolic effect. Aporia has its origins in ancient Greek, where it means ‘impasse’ or ‘perplexity’. It stems from the word ‘aporos,’ which combines ‘a’ (meaning ‘without’) and ‘poros’ (‘passage’ or ‘way’). Aporia is used to guide readers/listeners through complex moments in the narrative. The doubt expressed is not always real but when it is, it depicts the helplessness of the author/speaker, eliciting compassion from the audience/reader. When the doubt expressed is pretended, it triggers involvement from the audience. For instance, when the chief guest at an event to felicitate a celebrity begins his speech with, “Where do I start to express this?” he is using aporia to say that the person has so many good qualities that he doesn’t know where to start. In literature, authors use aporia to explore uncertainty, challenge assumptions, and engage readers in deeper contemplation. They use it to depict characters’ internal conflicts, create suspense, and highlight the complexity of moral or philosophical dilemmas. An early example of aporia is in Hamlet by William Shakespeare. In the soliloquy “To be or not to be” Hamlet grapples with the question of whether it is nobler to endure life’s suffering or to end it through suicide. Shakespeare uses aporia brilliantly to explore profound life dilemmas. Another example is in The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger where the protagonist, Holden Caulfield, frequently expresses aporia as he navigates the complexities of adolescence and adulthood. He often questions the authenticity of people’s actions and the phoniness of the adult world. The narrative is marked by moments of doubt and confusion, capturing the essence of aporia as a literary device that mirrors the uncertainty of youth. Several popular films have also used aporia to generate doubt and uncertainty in the minds of the audience. A recent example is in the blockbuster movie The Matrix which explores the theme of reality versus illusion, creating moments of aporia for the characters and audience. Neo, the protagonist, experiences doubt and confusion as he grapples with the revelation that the world he knows is simulated reality controlled by machines. This uncertainty drives the narrative and encourages viewers to question the nature of their own reality. Similarly in Christopher Nolan’s Inception, the lines between dreams and reality are blurred, creating ambiguity and perplexity. The characters’ uncertainty about the layers of dreams and consequences of their actions adds depth to the narrative and invites viewers to contemplate the nature of perception and reality. Whether in literature, cinema or speech, aporia serves as a catalyst for contemplation, encouraging individuals to question assumptions and explore intricate layers…

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Superfood makhana benefits

Makhana, aka fox nuts, phool makhana or lotus seeds, is a traditional Indian food used in preparing curries and kheer. Lately, it has become hugely popular as a snack, in roasted form. And Bihar is currently the largest producer of makhana worldwide. Its cultivation requires a laborious process with training transferred through several generations of farmers. Once referred to as a ‘fasting’ food because of its high protein content, it’s now touted as a superfood because of the multitude of nutrients and micronutrients it provides. Health benefits Makhana has traditionally been used in alternative medicine to cure kidney problems. It aids kidney functioning. It’s a powerful antioxidant with immunity-boosting properties. It controls blood sugar and insulin levels. Rich in magnesium, manganese, phosphorus, thiamine, potassium and protein. Its high protein and fibre content makes it a filling but low-calorie food. Therefore, good for reducing weight. Amino acids present in makhana protect against aging. Reduces cholesterol levels, thus aiding heart health. Removes toxins from the body. Here are some ways you can include makhana in the family diet: Mental well-being. Soak makhana and dates in water overnight. Blend them with milk. This is a natural cure for anxiety, depression and insomnia. Snack. Roast makhana and add salt and pepper or other mild flavouring such as chilli flakes or garlic powder. Homemade makhana is a healthy snack devoid of artificial flavouring and preservatives. Fasting. Useful food during fasting as it gives a feeling of fullness. Porridge. Grind two cups of makhana. Add hot water and stir, ensuring there are no lumps. Add ghee and honey to make a healthy breakfast. Kheer: Use milk, sugar and cardamom powder, and makhana to make kheer in the usual way. Curry. Prepare gravy in the usual way, with onion, tomatoes, coconut, cashewnuts and other ingredients. Add roasted makhana instead of vegetables. Caution Excess intake of makhana can lead to low blood sugar levels, especially in diabetic patients and also cause digestive problems. Packaged roasted makhana often contains excess salt, artificial flavours, colours and preservatives. So it’s best to roast them at home and add natural seasoning/flavours.

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Addressing children’s digestive problems

My five-year-old son suffers from constipation and indigestion. Please advise. — Kyra Agarwal, Bengaluru You can address digestive problems in young children through dietary modifications. My suggestions: Fibre-rich foods. Include fibre-rich foods such as whole grains, fruits, and vegetables in your child’s diet. Fibre prevents constipation. Avoid overeating. Ensure she doesn’t overeat during meals. Portion control is important, especially in early childhood. Overeating leads to indigestion. Chew food properly. Encourage her to chew food thoroughly. Proper chewing reduces the risk of indigestion. Limit sugary and fatty foods. Excessive consumption of sugary and fatty foods contributes to indigestion. Hydration. Ensure she drinks water regularly. Adequate hydration prevents constipation. Regular meal schedule. Establish a consistent meal schedule with regular meal times. This regulates the digestive system and prevents overeating. Consult a paediatrician. If indigestion continues to be a problem, consult a pediatrician who will provide specific recommendations. My two-year-old daughter was born prematurely at 32 weeks. As a result, her digestive system is weak. How can I improve her digestion? — Kiara Shinde, Mumbai Start by adding natural fibre and probiotics to her diet. Incorporate yogurt with live active cultures or other probiotic-rich foods into her diet. Probiotics aid digestion. Also, ensure she drinks adequate water every day and is physically active – necessary for good metabolism. My seven-year-old son is allergic to dairy products which are a good source of calcium. Can you please suggest substitutes? — Meena Mathur, Delhi While dairy products are rich in calcium, there are many other calcium-rich foods. You can include the following foods in his diet: fortified soy milk, almond or coconut milk, dried figs, almonds, tofu, sweet potatoes, sesame balls and broccoli. My seven-year-old son is underweight at just 20 kg. What foods should I give him to improve his weight? We are vegetarians. — Julie Bimal, Bengaluru I suggest you include nutrient-dense foods to promote healthy weight gain. They include: Protein-rich foods such as beans, lentils, tofu, tempeh, and quinoa. Protein is essential for muscle development and overall growth. Healthy fats such as avocados, nuts, seeds, and olive oil provide additional calories and support overall growth. If he likes dairy products, offer milk, yogurt, and cheese. For plant-based options, opt for fortified soy milk, almond milk, or coconut milk. Provide nutrient-dense snacks between meals such as nut butter with whole-grain crackers, hummus with vegetable sticks, or yogurt with fruit. Offer smaller, more frequent meals and snacks throughout the day to encourage sufficient calorie consumption. Encourage regular physical exercise to build appetite and promote overall health. However, ensure his energy expenditure is balanced with adequate calorie intake for healthy weight gain.

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Mom

Parenting – striking the right balance

Anitha Bennett If you have been attending ʻWhat kind of parent are you?ʼ quizzes, you are like most parents who are not sure if they are exercising good parenting. Parenting can sometimes be a difficult balancing act. Most parents don’t seem to know whether they are doing it right. Friends or parents? Children too want democracy and to be treated as equals. But they need to accept parental authority. Striking the balance is not easy. A child needs to understand that parents can be fun, but at the same time authority figures to whom they can look up. “Parents who make an effort to be their childrenʻs friends become better listeners and become sensitive to their children’s needs,” remarks Sonali Ghosh, a students counselor. All parents dream of topping their children’s list of friends. They may top the list during the younger years but as a child grows, parents’ popularity levels drop. To scramble back to the top, some parents over-indulge children, avoid correcting them, beg and plead for cooperation and even reward mistakes. Do you know your child? “You may think that you know your kindergartener well, but what if you caught him playing doctor-patient with his best friend? Would you know this phase that your child is passing through, is one of curiosity that almost every child has, or would you cringe with embarrassment and shame?” asks Dr. Pooja Krishnan. Sometimes, knowing what to expect from children helps. That’s where parenting books and websites come handy. Knowledge that hundreds of parents have faced the same issue is reassuring. We don’t realise just how many parents go through almost the same problems until we read about them. Expectations vs. reality A parent with a well-behaved eight-year-old may subconsciously expect the same from her five-year-old without acknowledging the age difference. Our expectations of our children are also based on our own childhood experiences and attitudes. Acknowledging that our children belong to a different generation with a whole new set of attitudes will make it easier to accept them and bring out the best in them. Knowing your child Taking time to observe your children’s behaviour and reactions to different situations will help to know them better. Every child needs to be handled differently, and trying to manage siblings identically seldom works. If one sibling is good with household chores, you don’t have to force the other one to do the same. He/she can be given other more comfortable chores. In an attempt to be ʻfair,ʼ parents often end up ignoring age differences and frustrate children. At the end of the day, giving time and attention to children is the surest way of figuring out how to strike the right balance and being the best parent you can be. No parent is perfect, but a big serving of love can cover many mistakes.

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Five superfoods to give your child every day

Bananas Bananas contain a lot of fibre, and help fight constipation. They are also high in potassium, and good for kidneys, bones, heart and nerves. Milk Milk gives kids the calcium they need for growing bones, and also contains protein and vitamins, aiding growth and strength. Children need two-three glasses of milk every day. If they don’t drink it, use other dairy products like cheese, buttermilk or curd. Eggs Eggs contain protein as well as essential minerals and vitamins. An egg is like a multi-vitamin capsule, packing in many vitamins and nutrients in a small format, making it easier to get the nutrients children need. They are also versatile, and can be cooked in many different ways. One or two eggs at breakfast will give your child’s health a big boost. Raisins Raisins are rich in iron and fibre. They pack in energy and satisfy the sweet tooth of children. They are a healthy alternative to candies and other sweets. Nuts Nuts are rich in protein and minerals like zinc and folate. They fight heart disease and contain ‘good’ fats. They make a healthy snack, and can fight child obesity if they are eaten instead of junk food. But watch out for packaged nuts — they may have too much salt.

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Eating right for school days

By the time he comes home from school, my son is tired though he eats a good lunch. He gets home at 4 p.m. in the school bus. As a result, he is in a bad mood for one-two hours after coming home. I am sure lack of food is the main reason. How can I get him to eat better? If your son doesn’t eat well at lunch, an additional drink could help. A little bottle of fruit juice, flavoured glucose or flavoured milk could provide additional energy. Or, pack an additional snack box to eat on the return journey home. You could also keep a drink or snack handy to eat as soon as your child gets home. Remind him to drink water frequently. Dehydration can also cause fatigue and mood swings. Though you may be seeing the effect only after school, don’t ignore breakfast, the most important meal. If breakfast is ignored in the morning rush, setting the alarm 10-20 minutes earlier might help. A full glass of milk, a breakfast rich in carbohydrates and a few nuts or dry fruits will help to keep up energy levels. If your child is fussy in the mornings, resort to quick fix options like cornflakes or bread and cheese. So if your child refuses breakfast, you can offer a different option instead of letting him go to school without it.

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peanut butter

Quick-fix food ideas

Peanut-butter date sandwich Store some chopped dates (preferably Arabian) in a box. Any time you want, spread peanut butter on brown bread, add chopped dates to make a sandwich. You can have a nutritious meal ready in two minutes! Serve with a slice of watermelon or apple. Baby potatoes Pressure cook baby potatoes and get a family member to peel them the previous day. In the morning, keep them out of the refrigerator for a while. Heat ghee or butter, add the potatoes, chilli powder and salt. Toss for a while (add chopped onions if you like) until the potatoes get a light brown crust, and serve hot for breakfast.

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Heart to Heart

Heart to Heart

Dear Parent, Parenting 24×7 is a full-time demanding job. While we manage the myriad chores while getting through the day, there are several casualties like our health, sleep and marriage, which could easily take the back seat. Therefore it’s time to step back from the roles of SuperMom or SuperDad and work towards a better life-parenting balance. While most parents don’t hesitate to discharge the routine tasks of parenting, we do tend to pay less attention to our own health and many parents are chronically sleep deprived. Remaining healthy and energetic needs to be higher on our priority lists to enable us to become good parents. A review of our health needs will prove helpful in finding solutions. An easy way to improve the health quotient is to follow the healthy habits we try to instil in our children’s lives. A glass of milk twice a day, fruits, carrot sticks and nuts, and other healthy things that we offer our children, can pep us up as well. Taking time out from the kids to spend time together as a couple, or adopting a hobby can also be refreshing for a full-time parent. When you take care of yourself, you will become the best person you can be, and the best parent you can be as well.

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Best pregnancy & child apps

Here’s my shortlist of three apps that enable pregnant women and new moms to understand the nine months of foetal development, and nurture their children through infancy and early childhood – Cynthia John Sprout baby iOS For most new mothers, parenthood is an overwhelming experience. This app offers a plethora of trackers to monitor your child’s health, medical reports, growth chart, vaccination schedule, feeding and sleep cycles. Parents can also monitor their child’s quality and duration of sleep, diet, feedings frequency, etc. There’s also a provision to save photos and memories of special events and milestones.This apps works exclusively on Apple devices — iPhone, Apple Watch and iPad. Pregnancy+ iOS and Android This app developed by the multinational lighting company Philips is what midwives and paediatricians prescribe for patients. Consistently rated five stars in Apple and Android play stores, Pregnancy+ offers 40 3D animated images triggered by touch, including recordings of the enceinte baby’s heartbeat. In addition, it generates daily reports based on medical and personal logs on the progress of your pregnancy, diet, and exercise. For example this app will enable you to plan your diet and recommends suitable foods for different pregnancy stages as well as exercise schedule. Baby+ iOS and Android Baby+ records child developmental milestones such as first tooth, weight and height increase, etc. Photos can be stored in a personalised diary, which can be turned into yearbooks. Moreover, the app provides daily blog posts, weekly infant development reports and graphs, parenting and breastfeeding guides and sleep-inducing lullabies. For new, especially first-time parents, Baby+ provides a flood of valuable information and advice on every stage of early childhood development.

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Mailbox

Useful advice My four-year-old daughter is very shy and avoids all male children in the apartment and plays only with the girls. I was pleasantly surprised when I read Dr. Sachin Baliga’s reassuring response to a parent with a similar problem in your ‘Ask your Counselor’ section (PW September). His suggestions to help her overcome her shyness were very useful. I also thoroughly enjoyed reading your special feature ‘Smart ways to organise children’s spaces’. Author Nasrin Modak’s tips for children’s room décor were practical and easy to follow. Sona Reddy Hyderabad Burdening children with great expectations Thanks for your cover story ‘Enabling children to profit from failure’ (PW September). It comes at a time when the mental health and emotional well-being of children and youth is ballooning into a national crisis and should serve as an eye opener to the parents’ community. I agree with psychologist Dr. Mazher Ali’s views that intense fear of failure causes immense stress and could even prompt suicidal tendencies in children. Parents should resist the temptation to foist their own aspirations and expectations on children, and put pressure to achieve them. In my own case, I had to step back with my expectations when I noticed that my teenage daughter was consumed with fear of failure and was petrified of taking on new tasks. We need to encourage our children to give their best irrespective of the outcome. Shalika Suresh Delhi Get children to eat vegetables In today’s world of fast foods and aerated beverages, it’s tough to convince children to eat green vegetables. Therefore it was lovely to read your ‘Delectable Green Treats’ recipes in the September issue of ParentsWorld. We need to get our children to eat more green leafy vegetables. Recipes on high-nutrition foods like avocadoes, broccoli and pumpkin are also most welcome. Tina Ramachandran Bengaluru Stepping stone to success Your cover story on overcoming fear of failure (PW September) was thought provoking. I can’t agree more with the old cliche ‘Failure is a stepping stone to success’. But honestly, failure in real life is sometimes hard to digest. The most common being that of failing exams which can become life’s most miserable experience, aggravated by the judgemental reactions of family, friends, classmates and teachers. In my opinion, there is little awareness among parents that failure is an essential rite of passage in every child’s life. The common parental response to failure is disappointment and reprimand. As you have emphasised in the story, parents need to use failure to build character and resilience of children. Vishwanath Reddy Hyderabad Enlightening column Your Kidzone column on nurturing children’s potential (PW September) was enlightening. More than schools and educators, it is parents’ responsibility to identify the strengths and aptitudes of children and guide them to discover their skills and interests. We have seen children blossoming early in life and becoming young achievers. I also look forward to reading captivating theme-based experiences of parents in the Parents Corner section. Keep up the good work! Vashi Devu…

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Letter from managing editor

Almost every second day these days daily newspapers flash headlines of young American students perpetrating a mass shooting in malls, and often schools. The right to bear (own) guns is a fundamental right under the US Constitution and angry young teens often access their parents’ guns and go berserk. Nor is youth and child anger confined to the world’s oldest democracy. All over the world there is an upsurge of youth anger and violence. India is no exception to the tidal wave of teens and youth anger that is sweeping the world and precipitating random, untargeted violence. Slow social mobility and the prospect of unemployment and/or low wages in the informal sector has created an angry Generation Z, i.e, teens and youth born between 1996 and 2010 and Generation Alpha born after 2010. This anger is manifested in the outbreak of repeated communal, caste and tribal (as in the north-east) riots and violence in which youth are ready and often gullible, participants. Moreover in the new age of the Internet, social media and readily available cinema, sports and cricket tournaments, ‘crazy busy’ parents are increasingly neglecting children. In an economy which is growing at 6 percent when it should be growing at a minimal 8 percent to absorb the 12 million youth who enter the jobs market every year, anger within the large army of unemployed — or more accurately unemployable, youth short-changed by government schools and public universities with their obsolete syllabuses and curriculums — is rising. Against this disturbing backdrop we present our cover story in which child psychologists, psychiatrists and nurturance experts advise teaching children socialisation and anger management skills from youngest age. With children’s access to streaming OTT platforms, video games, etc depicting incrementally violent action, teachers and especially parents, need to proactively teach children the virtues of restraint and discursive skills as they grow up. The days of glorying the assertiveness and domination of children in classrooms and playing fields are over. Especially in a multi-cultural society such as India, teaching children the life skills of inclusion, cooperation and teamwork from the early years has become an important parental obligation as highlighted in this issue’s cover story. As usual, there is much else in this Dussehra issue of PW which is receiving excellent notices from across the country. Check out our story on the importance of eye contact in early childhood; Special Essay on whether it’s alright for parents to take their children out of school to go on holiday; and expert recommendations of best pregnancy and child rearing apps.

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News Bytes

Autism and ADHD in children linked to plastic additive Children diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) often have a reduced ability to clear bisphenol A (BPA), a common plastic additive, from their bodies, says a study published in the public access journal PLOS ONE (September). BPA is used in everyday objects such as compact discs, dental sealants, water bottles, the lining of canned foods and drinks, medical devices among others. The study showed that for a significant proportion of children with ASD, the ability to add the glucose molecule to BPA to make it soluble is 10 percent less than of the control group of children. For children with ADHD, it’s less than 17 percent. The compromised ability to clear such environmental pollutants from the body is “the first hard biochemical evidence of the linkage between BPA and the development of autism or ADHD,” says lead author T. Peter Stein, professor of surgery at Rowan-Virtua School of Osteopathic Medicine, Philadelphia, USA. Sleep loss in pregnancy causes premature birth Lack of sleep and reduced physical activity during pregnancy is likely to increase the risk of premature birth, reveals a study led by Nima Aghaeepour, associate professor of anesthesiology, perioperative and pain medicine at the Stanford School of Medicine. The research team used a machine learning (ML) algorithm to detect fine-grained changes in sleep and physical activity patterns of 1,000 women whose data was collected by devices worn by them through pregnancy. The study found that when patients’ sleep and activity levels don’t change on a typical trajectory, it’s a warning sign for premature birth. Sleeping better and being more physically active than usual was linked with a 48 percent reduction in risk for preterm delivery. Conversely, if a woman was sleeping less and being physically inactive than usual for her stage of pregnancy, her risk for preterm delivery was 44 percent higher than for pregnant women with typical sleep and activity patterns. The study, published in NPJ Digital Medicine, also identified several risk factors for premature delivery, including greater levels of inflammation in pregnant woman, specific immune-system changes, higher levels of stress, history of having a preterm birth and certain types of bacteria in the mother’s microbiome. Air pollution exposure increases heart stroke risk Short-term exposure to air pollution significantly increases the risk of heart stroke, says a study conducted by University of Jordan researchers and published in the journal Neurology (September). Researchers reviewed 110 studies that included more than 18 million cases of heart cardiac stroke. The study found that higher concentrations of nitrogen dioxide were linked to a 28 percent increased risk of stroke; higher ozone levels to a 5 percent increase; carbon monoxide had a 26 percent increase; and sulphur dioxide a 15 percent increase. “There is a strong and significant association between air pollution and the occurrence of stroke as well as death from stroke within five days of exposure. This highlights the importance of global efforts to create policies that…

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Dr Mazher Ali

My son is afraid of the dark. HELP!

My son is seven years old. When the lights are off, he is scared of ghosts. We have tried reassuring him but he is still petrified. We use a nightlight to reassure him. How can we help him overcome his fear of the dark? — Deepa Jeetu, Delhi * It’s essential to acknowledge your son’s fear and let him know that it’s okay to feel scared. * Have a conversation about ghosts and explain that they’re not real. Use age-appropriate and comforting language to reassure him. * Support him to confront his fear by gradually reducing reliance on the nightlight. Start by dimming the light a little every night until he feels comfortable in the dark. Moreover, to prepare your children to face challenges and situations, I strongly recommend: • Let your son know that you’re there for him and that he can always come to you with his fears and troubles. • Establish a predictable routine which will give him a sense of stability and security. • If your son’s fears persist and significantly affect daily lives, consider consulting a paediatrician or child psychologist for professional guidance and support. Remember, patience, understanding, and love are key to enabling children to navigate and overcome their fears and insecurities. My five-year-old son cries inconsolably whenever I drop him to his karate class. After some time, he is ok. Please advise. — Simi Prajjun, Hyderabad You need to support him to overcome his fears. Here are some suggestions. • Discuss with him if he has any concerns regarding the karate class. Ask open-ended questions to understand why he’s upset. • Tell him that it’s normal to feel scared or sad initially, but he’ll enjoy once he begins the class. Reinforce positive aspects of karate and the benefits he’ll gain from attending classes. • You need to gradually expose him to the environment and activities of the karate class outside of class time. This will make him more comfortable with the setting and routine. My daughter is an extrovert and speaks easily with strangers. I don’t think it’s safe. I also think her super-friendly behaviour is a camouflage for her insecurity. How do I explain to her that it’s not safe to mingle with strangers? — Revati Kumar, Chennai Start by having age-appropriate conversations with your daughter about personal safety. Teach her about personal boundaries and whom to trust. It’s also important that you monitor her interactions with strangers and gently guide her towards appropriate social behaviour and precautions. Moreover, boost her self-confidence and self-esteem so she doesn’t seek validation from strangers. Encourage her to develop strong relationships within family and close friends. (Dr. Mazher Ali is consultant, psychiatry, CARE Hospitals, Hyderabad)

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Visibility and acceptance of people with disability

Abha Adams is one of India’s most well-known and respected educationists. An alumna of Lady Shri Ram College, Adams has served as Director of the Shri Ram Schools, establishing the Shri Ram School, Moulsari in 1995 and The Shri Ram School, Aravali in 2001 followed by the Shri Ram Educare consulting company. In 2006, she […]

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Can I take my child out of school to go on a holiday?

As the school term stretches on, many parents might be tempted to take their children out of school. Perhaps they want to beat the crowds at the snow or enjoy off-season prices at the coast. Maybe they just need a break. As parents, we have certainly experienced this dilemma. But what are the rules around taking your child out of school in term time? And is it a good idea? You do need to send your child to school The precise rules around school attendance differ slightly from state to state. But by law, you are required to send your child to school every day. For example, in New South Wales, the state Education Act says that all students who are enrolled at school regardless of their age, are expected to attend that school whenever instruction is provided. The Act also says parents are responsible for ensuring their children attend school and must explain absences within seven days. It’s an offence not to send your child to school and parents can be prosecuted. Habitual school absences can be considered a form of neglect. This is defined as “a minimum of 30 days absence within the past 100 school days”. However, this should only be taken as a guide, because “a range of contextual factors may impact the level of risk”. Obviously if a child is sick and cannot attend school, it will not be counted. There are some other exemptions, such as if a student is employed in the entertainment industry or participating in elite arts or sports events. But exemptions around travel are less clear cut. The NSW Department of Education and NSW Association of Independent Schools both say travel does not qualify as an exemption. However, principals can approve leave on a case-by-case basis. In the public system, if students are away for more than 100 days, a senior education department employee needs to provide approval. The Catholic Education Office says “extended absence in relation to children of travelling families” may be a “reasonable excuse”. For longer trips, such as taking students out of school for a term or a year, families can consider home schooling or distance education. Why a trip can be a good idea There can be educational benefits around taking your child out of school in term time. There is potential for learning that cannot be easily replicated in schools. Education psychologists Jerome Bruner and Jean Piaget developed “discovery learning”, believing it is best for learners to discover facts and relationships for themselves. For example, visiting Uluru and taking a tour with local First Nations groups is arguably a better way to learn about indigenous cultures and history than by reading about them in a book. This approach can see children develop deeper conceptual understanding, stronger interest in particular topics and an increased sense of responsibility for their own learning. School excursions are an example of experiential learning, and depending on what trip you’re planning, you might be able to provide your child with…

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Promising career for history buffs

Following enactment of the Public Records Act making it mandatory for every government office to maintain records, demand for archivists is rising If you want to understand the present, you have to know your past! “India, with its long and diverse history has a cultural wealth of hundreds and thousands of manuscripts, records, inscriptions, documents etc. Preserving and restoring such ancient documents is the role of an archivist,” explains Bhaskar Dhatavkar, former director of the Maharashtra State Archives housed in the heritage building of Elphinstone College. In these premises surrounded by over five million documents dating from the 16th century, stacked on towering, dusty shelves, Dhatavkar researches the history of the Maratha and Peshwa dynasties of modern day Maharashtra. The National Archives of India (NAI) is the official custodian of all non- current records of the government of India and its predecessor bodies. It is the premier records repository in Asia and has four regional repositories in Bhopal, Bhubaneshwar, Jaipur, and Pondicherry. NAI provides financial assistance to state archives (each state has its own), voluntary organisations, and other custodial institutions so the nation’s documentary heritage is preserved and research and writing of history is facilitated. The job of a professional archivist is to meticulously collate, classify, and preserve ancient documents, parchments, records, and materials, so they remain in good condition. As such, she has to combine scholastic research with the aggregation, preservation, cataloguing, and description of documents, records, and objects of historical value. Archivists could also work with specialised forms of records viz. manuscripts, photographs, electronic records, sound recordings etc. STUDY PROGRAMMES. An appropriate academic base for archival studies is history or the library sciences. Specialisations include public administration and political science. A PhD is preferred for high-ranking positions in academic institutions. There are, however, specialised courses in archival studies/science of one-year duration. The School of Archival Studies, New Delhi, offers a diploma programme in archival studies (12 months); certificate courses in archives administration, reprography, care and conservation of books and manuscripts (eight weeks); certificate courses in record management for personnel employed in archival repositories and record rooms in government, public and private organisations (four weeks); sub-professional course in servicing and repair of books for personnel employed in record rooms of ministries, libraries and other departments (eight weeks). Other courses on offer are: Diploma programme in archives maintenance (part-time), Annamalai University One year postgrad diploma programme in archival science and manuscriptology, Gandhigram Rural Institute, Gandhigram, Tamil Nadu Postgrad diploma course in archival science and manuscriptology (one-year), Osmania University, Hyderabad One year postgrad diploma programme in archival studies, Pondicherry University 12-month certificate course in archives, Gujarat Vidyapeeth, Ahmedabad A Ph D in archival studies, history, or library science is generally the prerequisite for advancing to the highest position of director of state government archives. PROFESSIONAL PROFILE. “A number of business houses like the Tatas have set up their own archives and with so many Indian companies tying up with MNCs, demand for trained archivists is rising,” says Dhatavkar, a dedicated archivist,…

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Importance of eye contact in early childhood

Poornima Dilip Making and maintaining eye contact is critical to effective inter-personal communication. In early childhood, eye contact is especially important because in the absence of language skills, infants and toddlers communicate visually. A majority of information infants/toddlers receive is processed visually and optimal visual development is imperative for development of language and fine motor skills. Infants start to establish eye contact at six to eight weeks and after one-three months they are able to maintain it for a longer time. At three to six months, parents can expect infants to have continuous eye contact and recognise faces. As they turn one, infants use visual contact to connect with others. However, for several reasons including vision loss, social anxiety and autism disorders, some infants are unable to make eye contact. Parents should be vigilant and watch out for poor eye contact symptoms in infants. Among them: Infant is not meeting/avoiding eye contact and doesn’t respond to her name. She is not using eye contact to communicate, even at six months. Is unresponsive to your visual expressions. As children begin preschool or day care, visual communication becomes even more important as poor eye contact can result in delayed development of social skills. Therefore, parents have a critical role to play in improving young children’s visual contact skills. Shubhada Shekar, counsellor, Christ Nagar Junior School, Trivandrum, suggests some ways parents can enable toddlers to improve eye contact: Engage your infant/toddler in activities that promote eye contact and social interactions. For example, games that involve looking at the other person, asking for help in putting together a puzzle step by step, visiting friends, and outdoor play with peers. Simple games such as peek-a-boo, stacking blocks, or playing with toys that require turn taking are also helpful. Encourage reading books with colourful pictures. Whenever she asks for a toy, get her into the habit of looking at you before handing it over. Use positive reinforcement to encourage eye contact. Whenever your child makes visual contact, smile or give a positive reaction. However if your child is still unable to make eye contact, you need to consult a healthcare professional or developmental specialist. Early intervention is invaluable in addressing this problem. Also read: Do not glorify outdated rhymes: Early Childhood Association to Bollywood

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Balancing academics with co-curricular activities

PW invited parents of Vasal Education (Punjab) to share insights on how they ensure their children strike a balance between academics and co-curriculars “From her teenage years I have allowed my daughter Sehar (class IX) to take control of her own life and decide for herself what according to her is priority at that particular moment. I give her my suggestions but she gets to make the final choice herself. I strongly believe the responsibility of our children’s actions should devolve on them. When children are enabled to take ownership for their actions, it makes the whole process of learning much more enjoyable”. — Dr. Rana Preet Gill, Veterinary Doctor & Author, animal husbandry dept, Punjab govt “A balanced intervention has helped my children — Avyan (class IV) and Naisha (class VII) – take a fancy to academic and co-curricular education in equal measure. I have always encouraged my children to participate in co-curricular activities of their interest by convincing them that exposure to varied stimuli helps in mental development. They are both aware that overall growth and development is not solely dependent on academic excellence but learning beyond the classroom” — Deepshikha Dua, Manager, Taxation Mazars, Advisory LLP “I believe striking a healthy balance between academics and extra and co-curricular activities is the key to success. Towards this end, I encourage my son Agampreet Singh (class IX) to practice time management for prioritising tasks, and above all maintain a positive and healthy lifestyle. By virtue of balanced family guidance, adequate sleep and healthy diet and most importantly by exercising time management skills, my child feels confident and empowered” — Kuljinder Kaur, science teacher “The day my daughter Aastha (class XII) was born, I promised myself that I will not only be her mother but her best friend as well. An academic topper, Aastha doesn’t need to be reminded about study schedules but I have always ensured that she devotes some time to co-curricular activities as well. She loves to dance and I have always cheered her on as audience. She loves cooking and twice or thrice a week she cooks a variety of dishes with me in the kitchen” — Monika Kaushal, homemaker

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Managing rising wave of child aggression

In the new digital age of ubiquitous social media, there is an upsurge in violent behaviour among children of all age groups. Reports of teens committing outrageous crimes of rape and murder have become de riguer in the media. Younger children are also visiting violence on their peers writes Aruna Raghuram & Summiya Yasmeen In these troubled times, every few days one reads about teenage boys in the US — where the right to own guns is a fundamental right — going berserk in malls and public spaces and randomly killing and wounding people. On September 26, three teens killed three peers and wounded a fourth in South Carolina. Other recent incidents include a shoot-out at a teens party in St. Louis which killed one and injured a dozen; a teens’ fight in Florida’s Hollywood Beach that injured nine including a one-year-old and four teens were killed and 30 wounded at a Sweet 16 party in Dadeville, Alabama. Nor is teenage violence confined to the US. It’s pertinent to recall that one of the perpetrators in the horrific Nirbhaya rape and murder incident in 2012 was an under-age teen. Similar reports of teens committing outrageous crimes of rape and murder have become commonplace in the media. According to a PTI report (August 27), in the Western India state of Rajasthan (pop. 68 million), 1,358 cases of theft, 571 cases of rape, 514 of forgery, 379 of kidnapping, 319 of robbery, 305 of attempted murder and 168 of murder were registered against juveniles in 2021-22. And Rajasthan is just one of India’s 29 states. And younger children are also visiting violence on their peers. On June 22, a disturbing video of a 2.5-year-old-child beating his classmate in a preschool in Bengaluru went viral. Rising crimes committed by children may be the outcome of their experiencing violence from early age. A research survey titled ‘Cognitive & Affective Skills Study in Schools across India 2022’ of the Delhi-based Centre for Science of Student Learning indicates that physical and verbal aggression against children is on the rise. The study, which polled 34,648 students during the pre-pandemic period 2018-20, reveals that 47.9 percent of children in private schools reported verbal abuse and 36.4 percent peer physical abuse. Moreover, the Covid pandemic has aggravated aggression and anger in children. A 2022 study by the UK-based National Institute for Economic and Social Research reported increased aggressive behaviour such as biting and hitting in preschool children post-pandemic. Another study published online in the National Library of Medicine found (2019) that adolescents have become more aggressive after the pandemic lockdowns. Dr. Aman Bhonsle, a Mumbai-based psychotherapist, family therapist and author, says that in “the new digital age of ubiquitous social media”, there is an upsurge in violent behaviour among children of all age groups. “Undoubtedly, there is a rise in aggression among children across age groups. Children are responding aggressively to minor issues such as parents restricting access to video games and smartphones. Rising exposure to violence on mobile…

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