Ingredients 2 tbsp coconut oil, divided 1 ½ cups chopped fresh pineapple 1 large diced red bell pepper ¾ cup chopped onions 2 cloves garlic, pressed or minced ½ cup chopped raw, unsalted cashews 2 cups cooked and chilled basmati rice 1 tbsp soy sauce 1 to 2 teaspoons chili garlic sauce or sriracha 1 small lime, halved Salt, to taste Handful of fresh coriander leaves, cut into little pieces, for garnishing Recommended: Meaty vegan delights Preparation Guide Place a large kadai over medium-high heat. Once hot, add one teaspoon oil, pineapple and red pepper. Cook, stirring constantly, until the liquid evaporates and the pineapple is caramelized on the edges, about 3-5 minutes. Add the green onion and garlic. Cook until fragrant while stirring constantly for 30 seconds. Reduce the heat to medium and add the remaining 2 teaspoons oil to the pan. Pour in the cashews and cook until fragrant, stirring constantly for 30 seconds. Add the rice and stir to combine. Cook until the rice is hot, stirring occasionally, about 3 minutes. Add the soy sauce and chilli garlic sauce, to taste. Squeeze the juice of ½ lime and stir well. Season with salt and set aside. Slice the remaining ½ lime into 4 wedges. Transfer the stir-fry to individual serving bowls and garnish each bowl with a lime wedge and a light sprinkle of coriander.
Ingredients 2 cups dried soy chunks 3 cups vegetable broth 2 cloves of mashed garlic 1 tsp salt 1 inch cube of grated ginger 1/2 cup flour 3/4 cup vegetable broth 1/2 cup cornflour 1 cup bread crumbs 1 tbsp garlic powder 1 tbsp lemon pepper 1/2 tsp salt Recommended: Meaty vegan delights Preparation Guide In a large bowl, mix soy chunks, mashed ginger-garlic, and 1 tsp salt. Fill the bowl with vegetable broth until it covers the soy chunks. Soak for 20 minutes or until chunks are soft. Heat oil in a pan. Mix 1/2 cup flour and 3/4 cup vegetable broth from the soaking soy chunks and whisk until no lumps remain. Divide between two bowls. Once the chunks are soft and soaked, gently squeeze the excess liquid from the soy chunks and coat in one of the bowls of flour mixture. Transfer the chunks to a ziploc bag with 1/2 cup cornflour. Shake until coated and transfer to the second bowl of flour mixture, coat. Now transfer to another ziploc bag that has the garlic powder, bread crumbs, lemon, pepper, and salt. Fry the chunks in oil in batches until golden. Remove and drain on a paper towel.
The number of young people turning vegan worldwide is on the rise. A 2016 survey found that the number of vegans in Britain has grown by 360 percent over the past decade. For reasons ranging from aversion to animal cruelty, environment preservation to health benefits, an increasing number of people are going the vegan way, abjuring all animal products such as meat, fish, eggs, dairy and honey. Simultaneously, to cater to this new tribe of vegans, there’s been an explosion in the availability of plant-based foods including vegan meat substitutes. Here are three recipes which offer vegans the taste and texture of meat without the emotional baggage. – Parvathy Menon Veggie grilled burger Ingredients 1 cup cooked brown rice 1 cup walnuts (or bread crumbs) 1/2 tbsp oil (plus more for cooking) 1/2 finely diced white onion 1 tbsp chilli powder 1 tbsp cumin powder 1/2 tsp sea salt and black pepper each (plus more for coating burgers) 1 tbsp coconut or brown sugar 1 1/2 cups cooked black beans or rajma (well-rinsed, drained and patted dry) 1/3 cup bread crumbs 3-4 tbsp vegan BBQ sauce Preparation guide Heat a pan over medium heat, add raw walnuts and toast for 5-7 minutes, stirring frequently, until fragrant and golden brown. Set aside to cool. In the meantime, heat a skillet over medium heat, add oil and onion. Season with salt and pepper and sauté for 3-4 minutes or until onion is soft and translucent. Blend roasted and cooled walnuts in a blender or food processor with chilli powder, cumin, salt, pepper and coconut or brown sugar until powdery. Set aside. In a large mixing bowl, add drained, dried black beans or rajma and mash well with a fork, leaving only a few whole beans. Next, add cooked rice, spice-walnut mixture, sautéed onion, bread crumbs, BBQ sauce, and mix thoroughly with a wooden spoon for 1-2 minutes, or until a moldable dough forms. If too wet, add more bread crumbs. Divide into 5-7 patties depending on the size you want. Cook on grilling pan for 3-4 minutes or until brown on the underside, and flip gently. Cook for 3-4 minutes on the other side. Avocado Appeal Thai Pineapple Fried Rice
Do popular and widely advertised health drinks and supplements provide children the vitamins and minerals they need? Nutrition products make tall claims but a closer look at their labels will tell you that the RDA (recommended dietary allowance) of most products aren’t sufficient for your child’s needs. The nutrition claims also depend on your using a large quantity of the product, as prescribed on the label. If you were to use that amount, your box of health drink powder will run out in a week. Trusting these products to take care of your child’s vitamin needs can be dangerous. There is far greater benefit in getting vitamins from natural sources. Here’s a food chart to help you add vital vitamins to your children’s meals.
PW invited parents of Arya Gurukul, Kalyan (E), Mumbai to share their insights on how they manage their children’s packed schedules without stressing them out. “Given that 21st century children have extra busy academic schedules supplemented by sports and co-curricular activities, it becomes imperative for parents to work around them and find time with their children. At the dinner table, our 15-year-old daughter Aditi (class IX) is most relaxed and generally in a mood to talk. We encourage her to tell us about her daily challenges and try to offer solutions by narrating incidents from our own professional lives and how we overcame difficult situations. On weekends, we insist on her spending time outdoors while also encouraging the habit of nurturing house plants. Aditi is aware of the importance of self-organisation, a lesson we taught her from early years.” — Shweta Lazarus, Institutional Shareholder services Pvt. Ltd “Our son Vedant (class VII) enjoys the benefits of living in a joint family which I believe is a great stress buster. On weekends, his grandparents play games with him and tell him endless folklore stories. On weekdays after school hours, we encourage him to read story books and practice playing musical instruments. Sometimes we play family games like chess, carom, cards and vocabulary building with him. Moreover by keeping Vedant in seniors’ company and fully occupied, we keep a healthy check on his screen time.” — Vrushali Vivek Kaneri, assistant professor and head, Dept of English, R.A. Podar College of Commerce & Economics “I believe when parents keep communication channels open with their children, it gives them the confidence to openly share their anxieties and fears. Our six-year-old son Jayaank (class II) is a perfect example. Jayaank loves to narrate everyday incidents without any hesitation. We not only ensure he eats healthy food and gets restful sleep at night but also encourage him to play outdoor games rather than spend time with electronic gizmos and gadgets.” — Hardik Jayesh Kariya, Proprietor and designer, Owner at ClaSSiquE Furniture & Interiors “Our 11-year-old son Aaradhya (class VI) participates in all academic and non-academic competitions with a high success rate without getting stressed. He is capable of coping with packed schedules because we have taught him the value of discipline and planning for contingencies well in advance. Moreover his recreation includes playing the piano, reading books, playing cricket, singing and creative art, which ensures minimum stress.” — Ravindra Pandeji, General Manager (Sales), Schneider Electric
The epicentre of the world’s three great monotheistic religions (Judaism, Christianity and Islam), Jordan is a tiny desert kingdom wrapped in history – Indira Gidwani Born out of the ruins of World War 1, the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan (HKJ, pop: 10 million) sited on the east bank of the biblically famous River Jordan, owes its origin to one of the oldest civilizations of the world. Once an important commercial centre of the Roman Empire and epicentre of the world’s three great monotheistic religions (Judaism, Christianity and Islam), Jordan is a tiny desert kingdom wrapped in history. This region has always been on the fringes rather than centre of empires, but its strategic position ensured it was always influenced by early civilizations. Egyptians, Assyrians, Babylonians, Hittites, Greeks, Romans, Arabs, Turks and Crusaders — all traded, built cities and fought wars here leaving behind rich cultural imprints. During World War I, the British — and particularly the legendary T.E. Lawrence — unified disparate Bedouin tribes into the Arab Legion. After the success of the Great Arab Revolt against the Turks during World War I, HKJ was established by King Abdullah I, with Amman as its capital in 1921. In a 30-year reign during which he consolidated his rule and unified the kingdom, King Abdullah I was succeeded in 1953 by his grandson the late King Hussein who ruled for 46 years until his death in 1999, when his son King Abdullah II assumed the throne. Since then under the rule of Sandhurst-educated Abdullah II, Jordan has emerged as an oasis of liberal democratic (Jordan has its own Parliament with a loyal opposition) rule in the politically troubled Middle East. Indeed, over the past decade despite — or perhaps because of its more than two million-strong Palestinian refugee population — Jordan has morphed into a safe and stable nation averaging GDP growth of 3.5 percent per year. This small country currently boasts a per capita income of $9,110, 98 percent literacy, and 20 private and ten public universities and a remarkably modernised and educated Bedouin population. Amman One of the world’s oldest continuously inhabited cities, Jordan’s capital Amman (pop: 4.2 million) is a classic convergence of old and new, ideally sited on seven hills between the desert and the fertile Jordan Valley. In the commercial heart of the city, ultra-modern buildings, hotels, restaurants, art galleries and boutiques comfortably co-exist with traditional coffee shops, artisans’ workshops and folk sights and sounds. Almost half the population of the HKJ lives in the greater Amman area. The city offers its visitors plenty of lively night life, with everything from cultural and theatrical events to traditional Arab entertainment, modern restaurants and clubs. Known in the Old Testament as Rabbath Ammon, the capital of the Ammonites circa 1,200 BC, in the 3rd century BC it was renamed Philadelphia after the eponymous Ptolemaic ruler (243-246 BC). In the Byzantine period (6th-7th century AD) Philadelphia was the seat of a bishop of the church of Rome when several churches were…
But use it right or it could be your Waterloo – Roopa Banerjee ‘Ah, Krusty — this is your Waterloo!’ says Sideshow Bob in the iconic TV show The Simpsons, alluding to the Battle of Waterloo, where French emperor Napoleon Bonaparte suffered a crushing defeat from which he would never recover. Here, Bob uses the literary device allusion to suggest that Krusty is about to go down just as Napoleon was decimated at Waterloo. Allusion is a figure of speech that references a person, place, thing, event or other work of artistic expression. The word allusion originates from the Latin alludere, ‘to play with’ or ‘to jest’. Even though using allusion does not inevitably include humour, many jokes allude to recent events or renowned personalities. Most allusions give clear reference to the original source material and also use the reference for new purposes. For example, Big Brother is now a popular reality television show in many countries around the world but few know that the phrase Big Brother is from George Orwell’s dystopian novel 1984 (Orwell, in turn, borrowed the phrase from a billboard of World War ll). Although big brother merely describes a family relation, Big Brother now alludes to mass surveillance and abuse of government power. Similarly, the phrase Catch-22 commonly means a situation without a good solution. But it is actually an allusion to Joseph Heller’s novel Catch-22 (1961) about a group of soldiers stranded on an Italian island during World War II. It illustrates their difficulties with every solution creating a new problem. Another example is Achilles’ heel which refers to a weakness of a strong person. Achilles is a popular figure of Greek mythology and a hero of the Trojan War. He was said to be invulnerable except in his heel. During the Trojan War when Prince Paris shot Achilles’ in his heel, the wound proved fatal. Since then, Achilles’ heel is an idiom referring to attributes or qualities other than physical that can lead to one’s downfall. Sometimes, a once-uttered phrase by a famous person can lend itself to coining an allusion. In 1968, artist Andy Warhol made the comment, “In the future, everyone will be world-famous for fifteen minutes.” The phrase ‘fifteen minutes of fame’ has become an oft-used allusion, especially with the advent of reality television and social media. Allusions are useful for adding emotion to writing because of the prior association that the reader has with the allusion. Often, allusions to a historical event form an important part of texts. In Harper Lee’s book To Kill A Mockingbird, there’s a line saying: “The Cunninghams are country folks, farmers, and the crash hit them hardest.” The crash is an allusion to the US stock market crash of 1929 that led to the Great Depression. Readers not familiar with this cataclysmic event would be confused about what type of crash devastated the Cunninghams. The problem with allusions is that if the reader does not understand the context, the effect is lost. A lot…
The rich variety of red, white, and sparkling wines which India now produces has opened up a whole cellar of tantalising career opportunities for oenophiles to mix business with pleasure. With economic liberalisation and globalisation having precipitated a huge change in the lifestyle of Indians, wine is beginning to flow as easily as conversation in trend-setting middle class households across the country. As a growing number within the jet set are becoming conscious of the adverse health consequences of hard alcohol, there’s been a phenomenal growth in the wine-making industry in the past five years. The rich variety of exquisite red, white, and sparkling wines which India now produces has opened up a whole cellar of tantalising career opportunities for oenophiles (wine connoisseurs) to mix business with pleasure. Whether you want to produce, distribute, sell, teach winemaking techniques, taste it, or write about it, there’s expanding accommodation in this sunrise industry. Oenology. Known as an oenologist, a professional winemaker needs a degree in oenology (winemaking) or viticulture (cultivation of grapes). An oenologist is responsible for every facet of winemaking; not only does he decide on the quality of grapes, but also on how to blend them to create the best flavours. An oenologist needs a sharp understanding of climatic factors which affect the quality of grapes and the expertise to coalesce these factors to produce marketable blends and flavours. Vineyard manager. Another career option in this fast-track industry is of vineyard manager who supervises grape plantation and maturation right from planting, irrigation, pruning, pest control, and harvesting. Vineyard managers also discharge admin duties such as preparing budgets, hiring, and training workers. Cellar master. The cellar master comes into the picture after the grapes are picked and brought to the winery. Cellar masters manage winemaking equipment such as tanks, barrels, gases, bottles, and work closely with oenologists to produce wines in accordance with their prescription and specifications. Wine taster. After a wine is produced and is ready for bottling, it must pass muster with professional wine tasters. Quite obviously, tasters must have the palate and discrimination ability to differentiate and classify varieties of wines and nuances of flavours. If it’s lacking, the taster suggests ways and means to improve it. Sales and marketing. With the demand for wines of all vintages, flavours, and prices booming, there is no dearth of openings for wine marketers. Starting as a sales rep, importer/exporter, or distributor, the rise to the position of marketing director could be swift. Apart from these directly connected professions, job opportunities galore in the fields of writing, training, and wine education. The annual growth of wine in the market estimated at 30–35 percent is not likely to slow down, at least not for another decade. Domestic consumption may be fuelling it but wine producers like Indage and Sula are also exporting large volumes overseas. Thus there is great opportunity for all those interested in working in this industry — in the production of wines, as a wine taster, as a sommelier,…
Dance can be a life-changing experience. Benefits of dance include helping children develop self-confidence, social skills, and simultaneously improve their cognitive and academic capabilities as well as health and fitness – Jigish Sonagara What is it about music that compels us to move and grove with it? To tap our fingers and feet, bob our heads to the tune, and experience the rush of adrenaline as we twist and shake? From infants to the elderly, the love of dance is universal, transcending nations and cultures, with people the world over developing their own unique styles and movements. For children in particular, dance can be a life-changing experience helping them develop self-confidence, social skills, and simultaneously improve their cognitive and academic capabilities as well as health and fitness. In a brilliant TEDed blog titled ‘Why Dance is as Important as Math in Education’, Sir Ken Robinson, the renowned global education reformer and Lou Aronica, the US-based author, argue that “dance can help restore joy and stability in troubled lives and ease the tensions in schools disrupted by violence and bullying… dance promotes many of the personal qualities that employers recognise as essential in a collaborative, adaptable workforce”. Here are five benefits that children participating in dance lessons/classes can derive: 1. Counters screen addiction of children Most millennial parents are confronted with the 21st challenge of weaning children away from mobile/computer and television screens. Increasing tech addiction of children has resulted in a large number of them suffering health and socio-emotional problems. Participating in a dance class with peers provides children an enjoyable alternative to screen time. 2. Improves fitness and physical health Dance is a great way to engage children in an enjoyable stress-free physical activity. It builds stamina and strength and develops poise and grace of learners. There is no shortage of research studies highlighting that moderate to vigorous physical activity prevents obesity, improves cardiovascular fitness, blood pressure and bone density, as well as alleviates depression and anxiety in children. 3. Teaches discipline and perseverance Dance is a highly demanding and exhausting activity. Professional dancers spend years honing their skills, training for several hours every day. Children who integrate dance practice into their daily routine learn the vital importance of discipline and perseverance. 4. Creativity and self-expression Finding an outlet for creative self-expression is integral to the balanced emotional and psychological development of children. Dance provides an ideal platform for creative self-expression, allowing children to channel their emotions into a constructive and healthy activity. 5. Builds social skills Dancing is a social activity, whether it involves one partner or a larger group of participants. Working in tandem with a partner or synchronising with other participants teaches children the important life skills of teamwork, collaboration, cooperation and coordination. (Jigish Sonagara is the Mumbai-based founder-CEO of imd1 —Yes, I Am The 1)
In post-liberalisation India and the new millennium in particular, with newly affluent and indulgent parents giving in to their children’s every whim and demand, there is rising awareness that we are raising a generation of self-centred, narcissistic children with an overweening sense of entitlement – Jayalakshmi Vaidyanathan & Mini P On August 9, a Haryana youth drove a brand new BMW motor car into a canal near Yamunanagar in a fit of rage because his father presented him a BMW (price tag: Rs.45 lakh) when he had set his heart on a Land Rover Jaguar (Rs.1.1 crore). The young man wanted his landowner father to know how upset he was over the trivial birthday gift. So he recorded a video of his protest and posted it on social media. Though this example of a spoilt rich brat throwing a tantrum when he didn’t get his own way is over the top, in urban newly affluent households — and even rural India — there is growing disquiet about I-me-myself children and youth of the 21st century. With the country’s small but growing newly affluent class parents conceding every whim and demand of their children, there’s rising awareness that a generation of self-centred, narcissistic children with an overweening sense of entitlement is running amok countrywide. As nuclear households with working parents become normative in urban India, the dynamics of parent-child relationships are changing radically. Within the country’s newly rich haute bourgeoisie it has suddenly become politically incorrect to discipline children and deny them instant gratification. ‘My children right or wrong’ is becoming a normative sentiment and the newly emergent selfie and Instagram generation is taking full advantage of permissive parenting. “Millennial parents want to give their children the best — materially and emotionally. But in their yearning to become ideal parents, they are over-protecting and over-indulging children. However it’s time parents become aware that parenting is not a popularity contest; it’s about raising well-balanced children while providing love, comfort and emotional security. Couples who mollycoddle and over-indulge their children are in effect encouraging them to transform into narcissistic and self-centred spoilt brats incapable of accepting denial and refusal. Learning begins at home and the onus is on parents and caregivers to develop positive social skills such as sharing, caring, empathy and respect for rules and authority in children. Parenting is a responsible duty,” says Vyshakha Chikkanagoudar, psychologist at the Asara Centre for Psychological Wellness, Bangalore. This phenomenon of over-indulged spoilt brats with money to burn is not peculiarly Indian. Around the world, over-indulgent parenting — particularly in newly emergent less developed countries — by the nouveau riche (especially in the political class) has resulted in spoilt brats running amok and setting bad examples for impressionable children to follow. A 2015 study of 565 children aged seven-12 and their families conducted in the Netherlands, concluded that narcissism is more likely to manifest when a child is “overvalued” by parents during her development stages. The objective of the study, jointly conducted by Ohio State, Amsterdam…
My daughter (15) is slightly overweight. To reduce weight, she has started following the keto diet. I am afraid that following this diet will have adverse effects. Please advise. — Shalini Gowda, Bangalore Adolescence is a period of constant growth and hormonal changes. It is critical that children in this age group eat a healthy, balanced diet. Obese children should take care to eliminate processed foods and refined sugar from their diets. They also need to exercise and engage in physical activities such as cycling, swimming, jogging, aerobics, and yoga. Any weight-loss diet including the keto prescription should not be started without the advice of a doctor and guidance of a dietician. The fats-intensive keto diet is not balanced, and lacks important nutrients. There are many such fad diets in the market and teenagers should be counseled to avoid following them blindly without professional advice. My 14-year-old son has black spots on his legs. I assumed they are a reaction to him playing sports and games in the sun. But these black spots are spreading towards his thighs. Should I consult a doctor? — Vineeta Vishnu, Kochi There are many causes of black spots on the body. A thorough knowledge of your son’s dietary habits and lifestyle is required to make a correct diagnosis. I suggest that you carefully note down any changes in his food intake, and other activities, such as exposure to different chemicals, weather conditions, and skin care products, etc. This way, you’ll be better prepared to brief a dermatologist who will diagnose the ailment. My nine-year-old daughter’s milk teeth haven’t yet all fallen and one incisor is also yet to erupt. Should I consult a dentist? — Pamela Das, Kolkata Usually in healthy children, incisor teeth erupt by nine years of age in secondary dentition. In some children, this process can be delayed by a year. You should wait for few more months more for normal eruption. If it still doesn’t happen, you should consult a dentist. Also an annual dental check-up is highly recommended. My 17-year-old daughter sleeps after 11:45 p.m every night after her studies. She wakes up again at 4 a.m and does not sleep during the day. I am worried that she is not getting enough sleep but don’t know how to make her reduce her study time. What is the recommended sleep duration for teenagers? — Rima Choudhry, Pune During adolescence, the biological sleep cycle shifts to later sleep onset and later awakening. However, it’s important adolescents get 8-10 hours of sleep every night. As your daughter is managing only around four and half hours of sleep per night, it is definitely inadequate. Help her to rearrange her study time schedule so that she can fit in the minimum sleeping hours. Otherwise she could experience chronic fatigue and her immunity level will go down. This will also lead to poor academic performance as well as behavioural and health problems. (Dr. Soja Vijayan is assistant professor of paediatrics at the Malabar Medical…
My daughter has just completed her Plus Two (science with maths) but did not get admission into the college of her choice. She is not very happy with the other options available and wants to take a gap year. Will a gap year help her or will it be a disadvantage? — Shyama C, Bangalore Your daughter will benefit from a gap year only if she is focused, disciplined and has a plan of action. Otherwise it may end up being a long unproductive holiday. Discuss her plan for the gap year with her. What new skill, education-related interest or passion does she plan to pursue in these 12 months? I don’t recommend a gap year if your daughter is not mature enough to plan and take responsibility for her time. My daughter loves maths but dislikes science. She doesn’t want to study commerce or accounts in Plus Two. Can you suggest some other study options? — Marlyn D’Souza, Mumbai Most Indian colleges/ schools don’t offer maths without science/commerce in Plus Two. I suggest you consult a professional career counsellor who can help identify her personality, capabilities and career interests through structured aptitude tests. This will help her choose the appropriate study programme and career path. My son has scored 60-70 percent in all subjects in class X (CBSE). He is interested in making a career in drama or media. Which subjects should he opt for in class XI? — Rohini Mehta, Bangalore CBSE offers a choice of many humanities subjects in Plus Two. Among them: fine arts (painting, applied/commercial arts, graphics, etc); dance, music, media studies, etc. However not all schools offer this wide bouquet of subjects in classes XI-XII. You need to research and select a CBSE school which offers your choice of subjects. Moreover since many students change their minds over a period of two years, have a Plan B career option as well, based on his evolving interests and aptitude, and opt for subjects such as psychology/sociology. This will qualify him for an undergrad degree in mass media/theatre with psychology/sociology. My son is a tennis player and has won several district level tournaments. He wants to participate in state and national tournaments but his school is not willing to allow him too many days off because he is in class XII. How do I convince the school management to accommodate his traveling schedule? — Sharath Saxena, Delhi Unfortunately, most school managements are obsessed with excellent board exam results and discourage extra-curricular and sports activities. I recommend that you have a frank discussion with the school management, explaining your son’s interest in sports with facts and figures and explain how this will positively impact the school’s reputation. If they still refuse to accommodate, I suggest shifting him to a new school which encourages sports education. (Srinath Deshakulkarni is a career counselor and senior advisor of Academics & Beyond, Bangalore)
For preschoolers, lying is simply a way to escape trouble; they are too young to think about its moral implications. Counsel them that telling lies is wrong by explaining how lying can make a person untrustworthy. “I did not do it!” “You did!” “I didn’t!” “You’re lying!” Parents often feel cheated and betrayed when faced with blatant lies. But angry words won’t fix the problem. It needs to be tackled at a deeper level. Preschoolers who lie For preschool children, the line between imagination and reality can sometimes be thin. When asked what they ate in class, your child might make up stories about the giant chocolate in her friend’s tiffin box, because she forgot what she ate, or has an active imagination. If your child imagines herself doing something heroic, or talks about imaginary friends or activities, listen with amusement. Don’t treat it as a lie. It’s normal for children below age five to blur the distinction between reality and make-believe. But if your child obstinately refuses to admit to eating unhygienic, forbidden snacks, you need to be stern. For preschoolers, lying is simply a way to escape trouble; they are too young to think about its moral implications. Counsel them that telling the truth is important and explain how lying can make a person untrustworthy. “If I told you I have a real rainbow cake at home, and you come home to find that I lied, you won’t feel like trusting me the next time, will you?” is an example. Little children need to understand why lying is not acceptable. Help them get over the fear of telling the truth. “If you admit your mistake, I might scold you, but I will be happy inside because I will know that you are telling me the truth,” is a good line to take. If your child admits to lying and apologises, make sure you are appreciative of her honesty and help her mend her ways. When an older child lies It’s easy to feel let down. But remember that children lie to avoid reprimand and/or punishment. Therefore it’s tempting to brush the issue under the carpet by telling her not to lie again. But that’s the easy option. While confrontations are unpleasant, if you want your child to absorb the right values for the long term, you need to take more pains. First, cool down and think calmly about it, so that you don’t make things worse by accusing your child of bare-faced lying which might make her rebellious. Acknowledge that your child may have a deeper problem that she is attempting to resolve. Discuss better solutions. “If you really had to go to your friend’s home, you should have asked me again. I might have suggested going on Saturday,” you could say while explaining your prohibition of the first instance. Moreover, offer a way out. “The next time you feel tempted to tell a lie, remind yourself that only brave children tell the truth, and have the courage…
Take this quiz to determine whether you are an authoritarian, progressive or over-indulgent parent. Authoritarian parents insist on children following hard and fast rules based on the ‘because I say so,’ philosophy. Progressive parents balance the need for rules and regulation while encouraging freedom combined with responsibility. Over-indulgent parents give their children too much latitude and tend to fudge discipline issues. Take this quiz to determine which type of parent you are. 1. You have just realised that your child has been watching television for more than three hours daily and want to reduce TV time to an hour per day. a. You declare that the new rule is ‘one hour per day’ with immediate effect. b. You believe it’s too difficult to turn back the clock and decide not to introduce new rules. c. You discuss the health and academic downsides of watching too much television and explain the need to cut down watching hours. 2. Your child insists on eating junk food at a mall after having had more than sufficient fried snacks during the past two days. a. You refuse outright, and drag a crying or sulking child outside. b. You give in and let her have it. c. You offer to purchase healthier alternative snacks or fruits instead. 3. Your child went shopping without your permission though you had forbidden it. a. You scold her, remind her of the dangers of her act and withdraw privileges for a day. b. You ignore the issue. She is back home safely after all. c. You give her a yelling, cut off all outings, visits and hobby classes for the next three weeks. 4. Your child’s teacher complains that she responds rudely to teachers. a. You tell her to give no cause for complaint and leave it at that. b. You sit down for a heart-to-heart talk with your child about what happened and insist on proper behaviour, spelling out the consequences if misbehaviour is repeated. c. You give your child a harsh punishment and insist that the rudeness won’t be tolerated. Answer key: Give yourselves ten marks for each of these answers: 1. c, 2. c, 3. a, 4. b If you’ve got 30-40, you can consider yourself a progressive parent. If not, examine your parenting style and consider making appropriate changes. Progressive parents are assertive in expressing their opinions and rules, yet are democratic in discussing and accepting ideas from children. They are consistent about discipline and try to correct behaviour, rather than impose harsh punishment.
“Mommy, I want that video game. Josh has it and it is so much fun.” “Dad, I just have to have Nike sneakers. The others aren’t as good.” “Mom, I need to go to the movies tonight. All the kids are going. It’s a really cool movie.” An endless stream of sophisticated and unrelenting media entices children to continue to want things they believe they must have. It’s a parental duty to teach children, over time, to control their impulses, to develop judgement, and become less egocentric. You can do this by helping them differentiate between needs and wants, by teaching them the concept of “enough,” and by encouraging them to become empathetic. Why Do Parents Spoil Their Children? Sometimes you may play into your children’s hunger for material objects for any number of reasons. • You may not be entirely clear about your own values with regard to material things. • You may fall prey to the ‘keeping up with the Joneses’ frenzy we all live with. • You may have a sense of not being satisfied with what you yourself have. • You may want your children to have the things you missed out on when you were a child. • You may be ambivalent about setting limits. You don’t want your children to be disappointed or frustrated. And you want them to like you. • And, of course, it’s a pleasure to give to your children. While all of these motivations are understandable, they make it more difficult to teach children gratitude and learning to appreciate what they have. It is tempting to want to make your children’s lives easier and to protect them from disappointments, frustrations, failures and mistakes. But as Dan Kindlon states in his book Too Much of a Good Thing (2001), we can’t protect our children from the pains of growing up. “Money and material things can’t protect our children from the discomforts of maturation and it can’t buy them character either.” Children need to learn responsibility, to delay gratification, to tolerate frustration, to cope with failure and disappointment. What Can Parents Do? There are many things you could consider doing so your children develop the skills and attitudes to help them avoid being labelled as “spoiled”. You can teach children important life skills that will set them on a course of appreciation, moderation and responsibility. Some suggestions: • Set limits and say “no” when appropriate. For example, “No, it doesn’t work for me to have Sarah sleep over tonight.” • Help them to delay gratification by not giving them everything they want. For example, “No, we don’t have time to stop for ice cream tonight.” • Don’t make things too easy for them. Allow children to experience frustration in appropriate doses. For example, “I know learning to tie your shoe laces is hard, but I know you can do it. I can talk you through the process as you try it one more time.” • Let children experience a moderate amount of…
Vyshakha Chikkanagoudar, a psychologist at the Asara Centre for Psychological Wellness, Bangalore, suggests five ways and means to teach children the virtues of empathy and compassion: • Model the art and etiquette of accepting and giving compliments. • Use informal discussions, dinner-time conversations to help children learn how to accept other people’s opinions and judgements. • Use the five magic phrases: Please, Thank You, You are welcome, I’m sorry, Excuse me, please in daily interactions and transactions at home. • Create a caring climate at home by demonstrating empathy and compassion in transactions with family members and friends. • Children with responsibilities tend to be more empathetic and caring. Give your child specified tasks. For instance, allow her to care for the family or a friend’s pet. Teach her to help with household chores. When children are taught responsibility, they learn to care about others.
When the stress of parenting becomes chronic it can transform into parental burnout, an intense exhaustion that leads parents to become detached from their children, according to latest research published in Clinical Psychological Science (August). This type of burnout can have serious consequences for both parent and child, prompting parental neglect, harm, and thoughts about escape. These conclusions are based on the findings of two surveys: the first, of 2,068 French-speaking parents in Belgium, and second, of mostly English-speaking parents in the UK. “In the current cultural context, there is a lot of pressure on parents. If they want to do the right thing too much, they could end up doing the wrong thing. Being a perfect parent is impossible and attempting to be one can lead to exhaustion. Our research suggests that whatever allows parents to recharge their batteries, to avoid exhaustion, is good for children,” says Moïra Mikolajczak, lead researcher and professor at UCLouvain University, Belgium.
Using a mobile phone to take a break during mentally challenging tasks does not allow the brain to recharge and results in poorer performance, says Terri Kurtzberg, associate professor of management and global business at Rutgers University, USA and co-author of a study published in the Journal of Behavioral Addictions (August). Researchers analysed 414 college undergraduates who were asked to solve sets of 20 word puzzles. Some were given a break halfway, during which they were told to choose three items to buy within a specific budget, using either their cellphone, paper circular or computer. The participants who took phone breaks experienced the highest levels of mental depletion and were among the least capable of solving the puzzles afterwards. Recommended: Excessive mobile phone usage affects memory of teens “The act of reaching for your phone between tasks, or mid-task, is becoming commonplace. It is important to know the costs associated with reaching for this device during every spare minute. We assume it’s no different from any other break — but the phone may prompt increasing levels of distraction that make it difficult to return focused attention to work tasks,” says Kurtzberg.
Adolescents are likely to have their “mental health compromised” by frequent use of social media, reveals a study published in The Lancet Child and Adolescent Health (August). The study, which surveyed 10,000-plus 13-16-year-olds in England over three years, found that frequent use of social media increases a teenager’s exposure to bullying, and reduces time available for sleeping and exercise. The study defined “frequent use” as using social networking sites such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat and Whatsapp three or more times a day. For girl children, the more often they checked social media, the greater their psychological distress. For example, 28 percent of the girls who frequently used social media reported psychological distress compared to 20 percent of girls who used social media weekly or less. Similarly, girls who reported using social media very frequently in the first two years of the study reported lower life satisfaction, lower levels of happiness and greater anxiety in the final year. The researchers attribute almost all of this to cyber-bullying, reduced sleep and physical exercise.
College-going students are more likely to start and sustain exercise routines if they receive family support and encouragement from friends, says a study published in The Journal of the American Osteopathic Association (August). The study conducted by the University of Mississippi, USA surveyed 135 college students, assessing their willingness to exercise for the recommended 150 minutes per week. The survey concluded that sustaining the stipulated weekly exercise regimen requires the support of family and friends, as well as an emotional shift, enabling students to use exercise as an outlet for stress. Respondents also said that social changes such as making friends who exercise regularly would improve their ability to persist. “Making exercise a stress outlet may help students attain recommended amounts of physical activity and to maintain that routine, students need social support from family and friends,” says Vinayak K. Nahar, assistant professor at the University of Mississippi Medical Center.
It was refreshing to read the cover story ‘Early lessons in patriotism’ (PW August). It is so easy to take our hard- won freedoms for granted. Especially millennial children born into political, economic and social freedom, have no idea of the painful and long independence movement. It’s important to educate them about the past, the true meaning of patriotism and its relevance today. With the abrogation of Article 370 and many such issues in the spotlight, discussions relating to freedom and patriotism have become very relevant. Your story made some useful suggestions to educate children about the libertarian ideals on which this great nation was founded. Your Independence Day books reading list for children was also excellent. Deepanitha Chaudhry Kolkata No politics please I write to express my deep anguish and disappointment to see political propaganda being done in your magazine (‘Early lessons in patriotism’, PW August). We read your magazine to understand about parenting and how to raise children. Not to seek your view on Article 370 and political parties. I am writing this email to register my protest against your attempt to tell me what political views I or my children should have. Hope this is not repeated in future. Amrender Pal Singhal on email I suggest you read Article 19 1 (a) of the Constitution of India — Editor Sharenting risks I read with apprehension your News bytes story titled ‘Sharenting puts young children at risk of online fraud’ (PW August). Most parents share personal information and photos of their children on social networking pages assuming that they’ll be viewed by family and friends. But obviously we must understand that nothing posted online is 100 percent private. And as parents, this is not our information to share, it is our children’s. When we were growing up, our parents didn’t share our photographs and personal details publicly. I strongly believe that parents must respect the privacy of their children. Moreover with online predators on the prowl, children’s personal information is increasingly being used to commit online frauds and worse, sexual abuse and cyber bullying. Anitha Divyansh Chennai Relevant & excellent suggestions Thanks for a relevant cover story ‘Early lessons in patriotism’ (PW August). Today’s children are too absorbed with digital devices to fully understand the depth and relevance of India’s freedom struggle. I was born in pre-independence India, and I’m shocked when my grandchildren say, “Ok, we are independent. What’s so great about that?” We need to make an effort to help the new generation understand India’s unique non-violent freedom struggle led by Mahatma Gandhi through movies, books and real life stories. Your book reading suggestions, biographies of women freedom fighters and list of memorable monuments of India’s freedom struggle were excellent. Schools should also encourage children to make projects about our many freedom fighters. For instance I still have a scrapbook of photos of freedom fighters which I used to collect when I was in school. Sharada Tilak Mumbai Don’t force-feed children milk ‘Should I force…
In 2013, the New York-based best-selling TIME magazine featured a cover story titled ‘The Me, Me, Me Generation’ signaling the arrival of the millennial generation, i.e, individuals born after 1980. It described them as “lazy, entitled narcissists, who still live with their parents”. The story cited “cold data” to argue that the millennials were more selfish and entitled than any other preceding generation. “The incidence of narcissistic personality disorder is nearly three times as high for people in their 20s as for the generation that’s now 65 or older, according to the National Institutes of Health. Millennials got so many participation trophies growing up that a recent study showed that 40 percent believe they should be promoted every two years, regardless of performance,” wrote the authors of the TIME cover story. The millennials that TIME wrote about are latter day parents and they are raising children who are even more greedy and selfish than themselves — self-absorbed, self-involved, glued to digital screens with overweening sense of entitlement. In India as well, in a large number of newly affluent households, parents are conceding to every whim and demand of their progeny, and a new generation of I-me-myself children and youth is running amok countrywide. Moreover with strict patriarchal parenting widely disparaged, parents are over-indulging and mollycoddling princelings who believe they are entitled to special privileges and preferential treatment at home, school and workplaces. In our cover story this month, we turn a searchlight on the new Me, Me, Me generation and advise parents to balance progressive with responsible parenting. The onus is on parents to kindly but firmly correct spoilt brats. The multiplication of the Me, Me, Me generation has dangerous implications for society which is steadily becoming unequal and divided. It’s imperative that parents learn to draw the line between providing material comfort, emotional warmth and encouragement and over-indulging and over-valuing children. Good manners, empathy, social responsibility, patience and the ability to accept failure and rejection are essential virtues required for personal and professional success and building egalitarian societies. There’s much else in this issue of ParentsWorld. Check out our Early Childhood feature on why preschool children tell lies; useful guidelines to help children with homework; benefits of dance and a child-friendly natural vitamins chart.
