Parents play the most important role in helping children manage anxiety by creating calm, emotionally secure and supportive home environments

Punita Malhotra

Stress and anxiety among children have reached crisis levels worldwide. A 2024 study in Frontiers in Psychiatry, analysing data from 204 countries, found that anxiety disorders among children and young people aged 10-24 rose 52 percent between 1990 and 2021 with the sharpest spike recorded in the 10-14 age group. But these are only the cases that get counted. Because children, whose emotional vocabulary is still developing, cannot name what they feel.

Shreya Singhal

“Anxiety is widely prevalent in young children, and it looks nothing like it does in adults,” says Shreya Singhal, a Delhi-based counselling psychologist and trauma-informed psychotherapist. “A child is unlikely to come up to his parents and say, ‘I’m feeling anxious right now’. Usually, anxiety manifests through visible physical symptoms — headaches, sleep problems, loss of appetite, among others.”

Sangeeta Subudhi

In children, physical discomfort and ailments are often the first language of anxiety — and one of the most misread. They are frequently dismissed as minor ailments or attention-seeking behaviour. “My antennae go up when children come to me with repeated complaints of headaches, stomach aches, nausea, vomiting, fainting, and unexplained fatigue. These are evident anxiety symptoms, but I run diagnostic tests to show parents the ‘normal’ reports to prepare them to accept the anxiety diagnosis,” says Delhi-based paediatrician Dr. Sangeeta Subudhi who adds that paediatricians are often the first frontline responders to identify a child’s anxiety symptoms.

There’s a tendency among parents to give anxiety different labels. For instance, she’s naughty. She has anger issues. He’s just defiant. She’s always been shy. Attention-seeking, clingy, always unwell, oversensitive. And then there’s the particularly common version of normalising it altogether: “Oh, she’s a worrier, just like her dad.”

Beyond physical manifestations, behavioural changes are also markers of anxiety in children. Sudden emotional outbursts, temper tantrums, social withdrawal, and constantly asking for reassurance are symptoms of anxiety. Anxious children become unusually clingy, avoid social situations, struggle to concentrate, or show changes in sleep and eating patterns. Youngest children don’t have the vocabulary to express their fears and worries, so anxiety often reveals itself through behaviour rather than words. Recognising these early signs enables parents to provide children timely reassurance and emotional support.

In today’s fast paced world, the causes of childhood anxiety are manifold. Packed school and extra-curricular activity schedules, academic competition, peer pressure, unrealistic parental expectations, and growing digital dependence have placed children under constant stress. In particular, unregulated exposure to smartphones and social media has intensified children’s fear of missing out and comparison culture, and resulted in overstimulation and reduced attention spans. Add to this the tendency among millennial parents to overprotect and over-correct children, leading to the latter perceiving the world as unsafe and themselves as incapable of handling challenges independently. Psychologists warn that over-protective helicopter parenting can unintentionally increase children’s anxiety and undermine their confidence, independence and problem-solving capabilities.

Moreover, emerging research suggests that children’s risk of developing anxiety may be influenced even before birth, with vulnerability being passed from mother to foetus in the womb. The Encyclopedia on Early Childhood Development cites studies indicating that children of highly anxious pregnant mothers are twice as likely to develop emotional and behavioural problems in childhood compared to children of mothers with low anxiety levels. “When a mother experiences chronic stress and anxiety during pregnancy, the foetus absorbs it. Then, in the early years, especially from infancy to age seven, children absorb emotions, reactions and behavioural traits from their surroundings. They are highly sensitive to the emotional tone at home, parental stress, and how adults respond to situations. If anxiety and pressure become constant in a child’s environment, she gradually internalises those sentiments,” says Rachna Nayar, a clinical hypnotherapist with over three decades of practice and co-founder of Tranquility Now Therapies, Yamunanagar (Haryana).

Parents play the most important role in helping children manage anxiety by creating calm, emotionally secure and supportive home environments. Children learn how to respond to stress by closely observing adults around them. A parent who is constantly anxious, overwhelmed or glued to a smartphone may unintentionally signal that stress is unmanageable and inevitable. Likewise, dismissing children’s fears with comments such as “You’re fine” or “Don’t be so sensitive” can make them feel misunderstood or ashamed of their emotions. Instead, parents need to create safe spaces where children feel heard, reassured and accepted.

Shreya Singhal advises parents to listen patiently without immediately judging, correcting or rushing to solve the problem. “Asking open-ended and empathetic questions encourages children to express their feelings freely. “Instead of saying, ‘Were you anxious about the test?’ parents could say, ‘I noticed you seemed worried before school today. Do you want to talk about it?’ This helps children feel understood rather than interrogated. Moreover, children are more likely to manage their own emotions positively when they see adults handling stress calmly and constructively. Demonstrate simple calming strategies such as taking deep breaths, going for a walk, pausing before reacting, or talking calmly through difficult situations. Children learn far more from observing parent behaviour than from instructions,” says Singhal who adds that maintaining predictable daily routines, ensuring adequate sleep, limiting digital screen exposure, spending quality time together and encouraging outdoor play also alleviates anxiety of children.

However, if anxiety begins interfering significantly with a child’s daily life, sleep, schooling, eating habits and relationships, parents should consult professional counsellors, therapists and medical experts early rather than dismissing symptoms as a passing phase. “Childhood anxiety should never be dismissed as a passing phase that they will outgrow. When parents recognise the signs early and seek support without shame or denial, children learn healthier ways to cope with stress and anxiety. Timely intervention can change not just children’s emotional well-being, but also their confidence, relationships and overall quality of life as they grow into adulthood,” says Dr. Sangeeta Subudhi.

Anxiety: Signs & Coping strategies

Rachna Nayar

Rachna Nayar, a Yamunanagar (Haryana)-based clinical hypnotherapist with over three decades of practice, shares some tell-tale signs of anxiety in children and suggests ways and means to manage it.

Signs

Emotional. Sudden mood swings, excessive fear, separation anxiety, repetitive questioning, overthinking

Physical. Headaches, stomach aches, sleep disturbance, nail biting, excessive fidgeting

Behavioural. School avoidance, clinginess, sudden meltdowns, perfectionism, ‘good child syndrome’ — over-compliant and overachieving but chronically stressed internally

Coping strategies

0-6 years. Parents should encourage hugging and gentle back rubs because touch signals safety and reassurance to youngest children. Teach belly breathing playfully — “your tummy is a balloon, inhale to fill it, exhale to empty it” — to alleviate stress and anxiety. Practising the butterfly hug technique — crossing arms and gently tapping shoulders — can also be especially helpful for children experiencing separation anxiety.

7-12 years. Encourage children to identify and name their emotions instead of suppressing them. Teach them to express their feelings, “I am feeling worried” or “I am sensing anger.” Physical movement such as shaking, stretching, jumping or dancing releases stress hormones accumulated in the body. Parents can also introduce a “worry journal” or “worry hour” before bedtime where children write down their worries and close the book for the night. Often, worries feel less overwhelming by morning.

Teenagers. Teach grounding techniques such as the 5-4-3-2-1 method to help teenagers calm racing thoughts and reconnect with the present moment. Ask them to identify five things they can see, four they can touch, three they can hear, two they can smell and one they can taste. Cognitive reframing helps teenagers challenge anxious thoughts by encouraging them to ask themselves practical questions such as, “What is the worst that could realistically happen?” or “How likely is this fear to come true?”

All age groups. Experts also recommend Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), based on principles of acupressure, to manage stress and anxiety. This involves gently tapping specific points on the face, hands and chest while focusing on the emotion or worry the child wants to release. Combined with deep breathing and reassurance, such calming techniques help children regulate emotions more effectively.

When it’s time to get help: 5-step checklist

Delhi-based counselling psychologist Shreya Singhal shares a five-step checklist to enable parents to recognise when a child needs professional support to cope with anxiety:

1. Has the anxiety been present for several weeks or more?
2. Does it feel unmanageable — for the child and for you?
3. Does it show up in multiple settings — home, school and social situations?
4. Is it interfering with the child’s daily life and routines?
5. Are physical symptoms recurring without any clear medical cause?

If the answer to most of these questions is yes, it’s time to seek professional help and support.