My teenage daughter is all set to enroll in an undergraduate college. While it’s a well-reputed college, I want her to also focus on developing soft skills, which will increase her career readiness. Please advise.

— Rima Sharma, Mumbai

The myth that a college degree equals work readiness is crumbling. Paper degrees are not an indicator of success or achievement. Real-world and workplace success requires adaptability, emotional intelligence, and self-learning — not just good academic scores.

To succeed in rapidly changing 21st-century workplaces, your daughter needs to develop the following skills:

• Adaptability. The ability to adjust to new information, environments, and challenges.
• Problem-solving. Think critically and apply knowledge and learning to solve problems.
• Emotional intelligence. Manage emotions and personal relationships, and develop empathy.
• Self-driven learning. Develop the habit of continuously learning.
• Creativity. Use imagination in practical, innovative ways.
• Collaboration. Work well with others, often across cultures or digital platforms.

These aren’t just “soft skills” — they are survival skills in a world where change is constant.

My daughter is a good student, but doesn’t like it when we push her to set ambitious academic goals. How do I make her understand that it’s good to be ambitious?

— Minakshi Shekar, Chennai

You need to be sensitive to her aptitudes, interests, and potential. Your goal should be to help her not only succeed in academics but also develop into an emotionally strong, self-driven individual ready to thrive — not survive — in the future. My suggestions:

• Shift emphasis from marks to effort. Prioritize learning over scores. Focus on developing her creativity, not just knowledge.
• Nurture life skills by involving her in family decision-making, budgeting, planning, and resolving conflicts.
• Don’t impose your career choices. Encourage her to research emerging careers and guide her in making well-informed decisions.
• Role model emotional intelligence. Children observe and emulate how you respond to challenges and manage your emotions.

The media sends out mixed messages about gender identity. I want my children to understand gender identity in a healthy and nonjudgmental manner. Please suggest.

— Vinayak Desai, Mumbai

Gender identity is a person’s deep, internal sense of being a man, woman, both, neither, or another gender, which may or may not align with their sex assigned at birth. It is a sensitive topic in most Indian families, and most parents feel uncertain about how to talk about it. The first step for parents is to educate themselves and approach the subject with awareness and sensitivity.

As societies evolve, research and open discussions have brought greater clarity to what was once a highly stigmatized subject. Adolescence is a “second growth spurt,” involving not only physical changes but also psycho-sexual, emotional, social, and cognitive development. During this stage, children explore and form different aspects of their identity, including gender identity. This process of self-discovery is part and parcel of growing up.

Build a healthy parent-child relationship based on trust and open communication – it will encourage your children to discuss personal issues. If the subject of gender identity arises, avoid reacting with shock, judgement, or discomfort. Instead, listen calmly and keep explanations and conversations age-appropriate. In families where such conversations are difficult, it’s best to seek guidance from a qualified counsellor or mental health professional.

When parents provide a sense of safety, security, and understanding, children are more likely to grow into confident and emotionally healthy adolescents and adults.

(Sridhar Pallia is a Bangalore-based clinical psychologist and co-founder, DigiNxtHlt Solutions and Services Pvt Ltd, a mental wellness health-tech company)