In the digital age, constant distractions from smartphones, the internet, and social media have eroded children’s ability to listen effectively

Cynthia John

“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak” – Epictetus, Greek Stoic philosopher

Listening is perhaps one of the most important, yet underrated life and communication skills. The art of listening is crucial for building trust, interpersonal relationships, understanding and resolving conflicts, developing empathy, following instructions, improving learning/work productivity and most importantly, preventing miscommunication. In the digital age, constant distractions from smartphones, the internet, and social media have eroded children’s capability to listen effectively. Parents and educators often complain that children’s reduced attention spans are leading to poor listening which in turn affect communication and learning.

“Children’s listening skills are declining because of constant digital stimulation, reduced capacity for sustained focus, and underdeveloped auditory attention skills. In today’s fast-paced environment, there is strong emphasis on oracy — speaking, performing, and presenting — while the foundational skill of active listening receives less attention. “Although we learn through all five senses — visual, auditory, tactile, olfactory, and gustatory — the visual sense seems to dominate modern learning. Videos and screens demand less mental effort than actively listening and processing information. As a result, children’s minds are often distracted, leaving little space for focused listening,” says Divya Goel, a Bengaluru-based psychologist, life coach and co-founder of Udgam, a centre for well-being.

According to Goel, there are two types of listening: active and passive listening. “Active listening is a fully engaged, empathetic process involving conscious effort to understand, respond, and remember a speaker’s message, often using cues like nodding and questioning. Passive listening is hearing information without active engagement, interaction, or deep processing, often resulting in missed details. Today’s children are hearing passively, not listening actively to understand and retain information,” says Goel.

In ancient India, the gurukul education system emphasised structured progression of learning — shravan (listening), bhashan (speaking), pathan (reading), and lekhan (writing). Gurus taught young children the foundational skill of listening before speaking and writing. Indeed, most early childhood education philosophers such as Maria Montessori and Friedrich Froebel prioritise sensory engagement without pressurising children to develop verbal expression, placing listening at the foundation of learning.

Divya Goel

Divya Goel shares some ways parents can consciously improve and nurture children’s listening skills:

• Patience is a key prerequisite of effective listening. Parents can cultivate patience in children through activities such as gardening, listening to instrumental and classical music.
• Role model good listening habits — listen to children with undivided attention, using reflective phrases such as “I see, that must have felt frustrating”. Children learn by observing and imitating their parents.
• Play verbal games like ‘Simon Says’ and ‘Chinese Whispers’ — it helps children practice attentive listening through play.
• Encourage children not to hesitate to ask open-ended questions such as “How did you do that?” or “What happened next?” This strengthens their listening skills while deepening understanding and comprehension.
• Mindfulness and grounding techniques, rooted in ancient practices, activate children’s auditory senses. Try this exercise: ask children to close their eyes and focus on nearby sounds such as a fan or rustling paper. Gradually, instruct them to shift their attention to distant sounds like traffic, chirping birds, or the movement of air, enhancing their auditory awareness and presence.
• Create “no-distraction” listening moments. Set aside short periods each day where digital devices are put away and children focus only on listening during conversations, stories, instructions.
• Read aloud to children. Storytelling builds attention spans. During storytelling sessions, pause to ask children what they heard, predict what comes next, or summarise key points to reinforce active listening.