Nivedha M.

– Nivedha M. is a Pondicherry-based child psychologist

My eight-year-old spends a lot of time on the mobile phone, tablet and television. How can I reduce his screen time/device use without constant argument?

— Manasi Shrivastav, Mumbai

The Indian Academy of Pediatrics (IAP) recommends limiting digital screen time for children in this age group to two hours per day. However, it’s not advisable to impose arbitrary restrictions, but to gradually replace excessive digital screen viewing with meaningful, enjoyable offline activities.

For example, if your child is spending five hours a day viewing digital screens, reduce this gradually rather than imposing sudden change. Plan alternative activities such as visiting the park, playing sports or enrolling in an extracurricular class.

Don’t arbitrarily restrict digital screen viewing. It will increase aggression, agitation and cause a relationship rift with your child. Once you establish a screen-time limit, be consistent. If you decide that your son can use a digital device for one or two hours per day, don’t extend the limit because you are busy or your child asks for more time, cries or becomes upset. Consistent boundaries help children understand and accept rules and routines.

At the same time, help your son discover other activities to interest him. Involve him in household chores and encourage hobbies such as singing, swimming, arts and crafts, reading, sports. Regular outdoor play is particularly valuable and provides a great opportunity for family bonding.

Finally, remember that parents are important role models. Children observe and imitate adults around them. If we expect our children to reduce their screen use, we should also examine our own habits and demonstrate healthy, balanced use of digital devices.

My son is shy and doesn’t talk much. I want him to be extroverted, but the more I try, the more he withdraws. Please advise.

— Geetika Agarwal, Delhi

There is a difference between avoiding talking to others and being shy. Observe your child closely and, if he is simply shy, avoid putting pressure on him to talk. Give him time and space to feel comfortable and adapt to new people and environments.

Encourage him to start with small social interactions Praise his efforts, even if they are small. Provide him opportunities to become more independent. For example, you could ask him to go shopping with you and make a purchase. Encourage him to express his needs verbally rather than anticipating them. Don’t respond when he communicates with gestures.

Avoid labelling him as ‘shy’ before family and friends, as it will make him absorb reticence as a defining part of his personality. Instead, focus on his strengths and allow his confidence to develop naturally. Include social play in his day-to-day activities. Take him to the neighbourhood playground and involve him in sports and extracurricular activities.

Children often learn by observing their parents. Model positive social behaviour by greeting people, initiating conversations, and demonstrating how to sustain friendly interaction.

My seven-year-old daughter is hyperactive and finds it difficult to sit still or concentrate on tasks for long. However, when she is engaged in an activity she enjoys, such as painting, she can remain focused for a considerable amount of time. How can I help improve her attention and focus?

— Maithri Sinha, Bengaluru

It is common for children to be restless and have trouble sustaining attention, especially when an activity is boring, challenging or requires them to concentrate for a long time. This does not necessarily mean that a child is inattentive or hyperactive. Children possess naturally active minds and are often drawn towards activities that stimulate their curiosity and interest.

Rather than labelling your child as “inattentive” or “hyperactive”, look for ways to ascertain activities that interest her. If she is interested in painting, you could enroll her in an art class, encourage her to present paintings to family and friends, or even curate a small online gallery of her work. When children are provided opportunities to engage in activities they genuinely enjoy, sustaining their attention becomes much easier.