Falling to Stand Tall: Why Our Children Need ‘Risky’ and ‘Destructive’ Play
– Dr. Swati Popat Vats, Play Advocate and Playfluencer
On the occasion of International Day of Play (June 11), early childhood education expert and play advocate Dr. Swati Popat Vats explains why children need opportunities for both risky and destructive play. She argues that allowing children to test boundaries, take age-appropriate risks, and express emotions through play helps build resilience, emotional regulation, and critical life skills.
We have all done it. The moment a child climbs a few inches onto a low garden wall or reaches for a tree branch, our breath catches. Before we even think, the words fly out of our mouths: “Be careful! You’re going to fall!”
In our desire to protect our children from every bump, bruise, and scratch, we have accidentally created a world of hyper-safety. But in doing so, we are pushing out two of the most critical types of play that children naturally crave and biologically need: Risky Play and Destructive Play.
On this International Day of Play, it is time to look past our fears and understand why letting children explore their limits is one of the greatest gifts we can give to their development.
- Risky Play: Learning to Judge Danger by Facing It
When we hear the word “risk,” we often think of danger. But there is a significant difference between a hazard (a broken glass bottle on a playground) and a risk (climbing a tree). A hazard is something a child cannot see or manage. A risk is a challenge that a child can see, evaluate, and decide whether to take.
When a child balances on a low wall or climbs a tree, their brain is doing complex calculations:
- “Is this surface slippery?”
- “Can my foot hold my weight here?”
- “How high can I go before I feel unsafe?”
The ability to judge when something is genuinely harmful or dangerous is built through risky play, not by avoiding it. If we eliminate risk, children never learn how to assess danger.
Resilience Is Built on the Low Wall
If a child never falls from a low wall, they never learn how to catch themselves. If they never experience a skinned knee, they never learn that a minor injury is something they can survive. Risky play builds resilience—the mental and emotional strength to say, “That didn’t work; let me try again differently.”
- Destructive Play: The Ultimate Emotional Release Valve
We teach children to build, create, and keep things neat. So, when a child starts banging blocks together aggressively, tearing up paper, or pulling and smashing playdough, our instinct is to stop them. “Don’t break that!” or “Quiet down!” are common refrains.
However, destructive play is a fundamental and healthy human need.
Children experience a whirlwind of big emotions every day—frustration, anxiety, sensory overload, and pent-up physical energy. They do not always have the words to say, “I had a tough day, and I feel overwhelmed.” Instead, they express these feelings physically.
The Power of the Smash
- Tearing Paper: The physical resistance and the sound of ripping paper provide an immense sensory release.
- Pulling and Punching Playdough: This acts like a stress ball, allowing children to channel their frustration safely into a mouldable object.
- Banging Objects: This helps them understand cause and effect, volume, and their own physical strength.
When we constantly tell children not to break, rip, or bang things, we close their natural escape valves. Destructive play allows them to release pent-up energy and express complex emotions safely through play, rather than through tantrums or emotional withdrawal.
How to Bring Both Back Safely
Bringing these forms of play back does not mean letting children play in traffic or destroy valuable household items. It means shifting from a mindset of protection to one of preparation.
| Type of Play | Instead of Saying… | Try Saying (or Doing) This… |
|---|---|---|
| Risky Play | “Get down, you’ll fall!” | “Test that branch first to see if it’s strong.” or “I am right here if you need me.” |
| Destructive Play | “Don’t ruin that!” | Give them an explicit outlet: “Here is a box of old newspapers you can tear up as much as you want.” |
A Call to Action for Every Parent
Our children have an inner drive to explore, test boundaries, and interact with the world with all their might. When we sanitize their environment of all risk and all mess, we interrupt their natural development.
This International Day of Play, let’s make a pact to step back just a little. Let them climb that tree. Let them balance on that wall. Give them the old cardboard box to smash and the paper to tear.
Let’s trust our children to explore, to fall, to pick themselves up, and ultimately, to grow into capable, resilient, and emotionally balanced individuals.
Also Read: Governing Social Media Use in Adolescents: Is It a Necessary Evil in the Modern World?
Add comment