– Usha Rani Bengaluru-based child psychologist and founder of I Hear You Counseling Centre

My nine-year-old daughter gets angry easily and often argues with us. Sometimes, to ensure her safety and for other unavoidable reasons, we need to say no and disappoint her. Even explaining the situation doesn’t help. How can we manage her anger?

— Shivani Bidappa, Bengaluru

At this age, children experience strong emotions but may not always know how to express them appropriately. Don’t dismiss her anger outright; try to understand the reason behind her frustration. When she has calmed down, encourage her to find positive ways to respond and cope with her anger. Teach her simple techniques such as deep breathing, taking a short break to vent her emotions — all of which are cathartic. Explain to her why it’s important to understand the situation and why you refused a request, rather than focusing on her disappointment. Most importantly, parents need to model calm communication. When she handles a difficult situation well, appreciate her effort.

My ten-year-old son spends most of his free time playing video games and doesn’t want to participate in outdoor activities. I have tried arranging playdates and taking him to parks. These help only at that moment. The minute we are home; he is back to video games. Please advise.

— Himai Patel, Mumbai

Rather than making video games the enemy, I would suggest creating a healthy balance. Set clear time limits for video gaming and involve your child in choosing physical activities he enjoys. It could be cycling, swimming, football, walking, or simply playing outdoors with friends. Children are more likely to participate when an activity feels enjoyable rather than forced. Make physical activity a regular part of his routine rather than an occasional outing. Plan opportunities for non-digital activities every week, and ideally, every day. You could also join him and turn it into a valuable family activity. Consistency is more effective than daily arguments about screen time.

My eight-year-old child has difficulty following a daily routine and often delays homework, meals and bedtime. I have tried making attractive timetables and giving him deadlines linked to rewards but it doesn’t seem to work. How can we help him develop positive habits?

— Venkatraman Krishnan, Chennai

Children need structure, but they also need time to adjust to it. Create a simple routine that your child can see and understand, with set times for homework, play, meals and bedtime. Give him a gentle reminder before it is time to move from one activity to another. Avoid repeatedly reminding or reprimanding him when he does not follow the timetable; instead, encourage him to gradually take responsibility for his routine. Start with one habit at a time and appreciate his efforts and consistency. With patience and repetition, what initially feels like a routine will slowly become a natural habit.

My seven-year-old daughter refuses to share her toys with her younger brother and often fights with him. I know this is a common problem among siblings, but I feel she does it more than other children her age. How can I teach her to share and cooperate?

— Garima Mehta, Delhi

Sharing doesn’t always come naturally to young children, especially when they feel that their possessions are being taken away. Respect her need to have a few things that are her own, while gradually teaching her the importance of taking turns, sharing, and cooperating. Practise these skills through simple games and everyday situations rather than forcing her to share every time. Encourage her to take turns with her brother and help her find solutions when they both want the same toy. Notice and appreciate even small moments of cooperation. Avoid calling her “selfish” or comparing her with her brother, as this can make her resentful and worsen the behaviour.