Confidence is not a genetic endowment. Through structured activities, parents and educators can guide and enable children to develop this vital attribute that’s necessary for success in complex and fast-changing workplaces worldwide

Kiran Balimane & Cynthia John

“If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence, you have won before you have even started” — Marcus Carvey (1887-1940), Jamaican political activist and Black nationalist leader

Defined by the Oxford English Dictionary as “the feeling of trusting in your own ability to do things and succeed, leading to a sense of assurance and sureness about oneself or a situation,” self-confidence is the magic attribute that is necessary for success in complex and fast-changing workplaces worldwide. It regularly features among the 3 ‘Cs’ — together with commitment and competence — identified by self-help and leadership gurus as non-negotiable traits to overcoming obstacles and achieving academic, personal and professional goals. And like most attributes and traits that shape character, children’s self-confidence can be nurtured and strengthened from youngest age through adolescence to enable them to develop into confident young adults ready to take on the world.

Several authoritative studies link children’s low self-confidence to diminished capability to learn, build skills, participate socially, and realise their potential. A recent Listen Up Report 2025 by UK-based education agency, Hark, highlights that lack of confidence negatively impacts children’s capability to “learn, develop skills and relate to people around them”.

The study, which surveyed a representative sample of 1,400 children aged 11-18, found that 33 percent of them had little or no confidence, with the result that they are less likely to participate in school (40 percent never raise their hand in class even when they know an answer) or engage socially, often avoiding clubs, leadership roles and extra-curricular activities. According to the study, the “confidence crisis” will have a negative impact in terms of workforce readiness and soft-skills deficits. The authors of the study conclude that “confidence is not merely a personality trait but a foundational capability that shapes how young people learn, relate to others, and step into adulthood”.

Yet confidence is not a genetic endowment. Through structured activities, parents and educators can guide and enable children to develop this vital attribute. In this year-end cover story, we present valuable advice from child psychologists and parenting experts on ways and means to build and nurture children’s self-confidence from young age.

Extra-curricular activities

Reena Chopra

According to Reena Chopra, a Bhubaneswar-based psychologist and founder of SAAR Holistic Wellness, a firm that provides mindful parenting advice, encouraging participation in structured extra-curricular activities provides an excellent pathway to build children’s self-esteem and confidence. “Unfortunately, in most schools, there is excessive focus on academics and exam success to the neglect of sports, games and extra-curricular activities. This results in children failing to develop important life skills. Extra-curricular activities such as theatre, sports, public speaking and debates, provide children safe spaces to take risks, express themselves and discover innate capabilities. When children practice collaboration and leading in these settings, confidence grows naturally. These experiences teach them to develop life skills, navigate setbacks and move forward with greater confidence in everyday life,” says Chopra.

To develop children’s self-confidence, Chopra suggests three extra-curricular activities in particular.

Theatre/drama. Participation in school plays and theatre develops children’s memory, elocution and self-assurance. When children participate in dramatisation and role play, they explore a range of emotions and perspectives. This process enhances emotional intelligence and diminishes social inhibition, especially in shy and introverted children. Through role-play, voice modulation exercises, and group performances, children develop the confidence to present themselves before public audiences.

Sports. Participation in physical activities and formal sports and games builds children’s confidence by providing them numerous opportunities for experiences of mastery — the feeling of ‘I can’ after consistent practice and effort. Every small improvement is a stepping stone towards building capability. Physical challenges and failure also teach resilience, enabling children to learn that setbacks are temporary. Even small successes build competence, while failures provide opportunities for emotional regulation and problem-solving. Additionally, team sports develop leadership, cooperation, and socialisation skills which in turn develop self-confidence.

Public speaking and debate. Encouraging participation in school debates, elocution and public speaking activities develops children’s verbal confidence and communication skills. Children who begin with hesitant participation often progress to delivering full-length speeches and engaging in formal debates. Such incremental experiences reduce stage fright, improve articulation and logical thinking, and promote capability to express ideas confidently in group settings.

Adventure activities

Blessy Esther

Blessy Esther, Director-Programs, at Breakthrough, a Bengaluru-based firm that facilitates soft skills learning through outdoor programmes, believes adventure activities such as rock climbing, rappelling, and trekking provide great opportunity to develop children’s self-confidence. “In professionally managed experiential learning environments, every adventure activity is paired with guided reflection, helping children process what they felt, what they attempted, and what they accomplished. It is this cycle — experience, reflection, application — that transforms a moment of courage into habit. These experiences require children to manage fear, assess risk, and persist despite discomfort. When a child completes an age-appropriate climb or navigates a rope course, the experience generates powerful sense of accomplishment. It enhances the belief in one’s capability to undertake and execute challenging tasks. Over time this develops children’s self-confidence and can-do mindset, positively influencing their attitude to academic, social, and personal challenges,” says Esther, who strongly recommends parents to sign up their children for organised adventure activities such as rock climbing, trekking, rappelling, obstacle-course challenges, and supervised outdoor camping during long vacations.

Swati Jain

Free-thinking activities

Swati Jain, an alum of Delhi University and the well-reputed Fore School of Management, Delhi and Director of The Banyan, a Delhi-based enterprise that provides in-workplace children’s day care services to corporate employees, advises parents to encourage “free-thinking activities” to develop children’s self-confidence. “Confidence isn’t built only by academic outcomes and structured play and games. Children should also be encouraged to imagine, explore, experiment, and express themselves. When children engage in open-ended, ‘free-thinking’ activities, they learn to make choices, develop their unique personalities and cognitive skills, freedom to think, imagine and ideate. The more opportunities children have to play, discover and express freely, the more naturally confident they will become,” advises Jain, who recommends four ‘free-thinking activities’.

Unstructured creative play. Don’t always direct how children should play. Allow them to make up their own games, experiment and play with paint, playdough, sand. This nurtures creativity, cognitive capability, risk-taking, and confidence by providing them a sense of ownership and pride in games and activities they craft.

Free outdoor exploration. Outdoor exploration also boosts children’s self-confidence. Simple ‘free’ outdoor activities such as picking up sticks and stones, collecting seashells, and sand play encourage sensory engagement and spontaneous discovery. Such experiences nurture curiosity, adventurism, independence, and willingness to venture into unfamiliar territory. Exposure to outdoor environments gradually reduces fear of the unknown and strengthens children’s belief in their capability to navigate challenges with confidence.

Building blocks. This childhood game is not as simple as it seems. Building and creating structures with blocks enhances children’s confidence because they’re starting from scratch, developing creativity, design and problem-solving skills. Each time they build a new structure, they’ll experience pride and accomplishment.

Storytelling. This is a time-tested pedagogy to build children’s self-confidence. Encourage children to make up their own characters, narrate stories drawn from their own imagination, and share them with friends and peers. They will transform into great raconteurs and perhaps great writers.

Mind games

A 2023 study published in Frontiers in Psychology says that self-referenced praise, such as “You’re improving so much” helps to develop “healthier, more stable confidence” than comparative praise like “You’re the best.” Moreover, well-known psychologists such as Stanford University professor Carol Dweck (growth mindset theory) and Canadian-American psychologist Albert Bandura (self-efficacy theory) have concluded that when children imagine successful outcomes, monitor their progress, and use positive, affirming language, they develop greater confidence and perseverance.

Here are four suggested ‘mind’ activities grounded in positive psychology and cognitive-behavioural (CBT) research:

Journaling. Provide your child with a journal (note book) and encourage her to write down achievable daily or weekly goals. Subsequently, completing and checking off tasks establishes a clear sense of progress and builds confidence through small, consistent triumphs.

Visualization. Teach children to mentally rehearse successful outcomes.  For instance, delivering a speech with poise or scoring a winning goal. Positive visualization strengthens self-belief and reduces performance anxiety by helping children (and adults) picture themselves as capable.

Positive affirmation. Teach children to use short, empowering statements during moments of anxiety and challenge. Simple phrases such as “I can do it” or “I’m bold and capable” help towards developing determination and emotional stamina.

Progress tracking. Break long-term goals into measurable steps using a visual progress tracker. Experiencing incremental advancement helps children to remain motivated and measure their growing competence, as they progress towards accomplishing set goals.

3 ways to build confidence in youngest children

An alum of America’s top-ranked, blue-chip Georgia Tech and Stanford universities, USA, Mumbai-based Raghav Himatsingka is founder-CEO of Raising Superstars Pvt Ltd. The company has ideated and developed an app christened Prodigy Baby, designed to arouse the inherent latent potential of 0-6-year-old children. Himatsingka shares three parent-child activities designed to develop the self-confidence of youngest children.

“Make small wins possible. In the early years, confidence grows from mastery, not praise. And the best way to develop mastery is by assigning toddlers small, achievable challenges. Each day or week, give your child a small task that’s just above her current capability — folding a T-shirt, balancing on one leg, tidying a bookshelf, building a simple Lego model from a picture, pouring water into glass. When she completes it, her brain registers a sense of achievement/capability, reinforcing the belief that she can accomplish tasks on her own. Don’t rush her or jump in to help prematurely. You need to celebrate effort and persistence rather than outcome or perfection. Keep tasks/challenges short and interesting; don’t let her feel like she is doing big chores or being tested.

Brave or unusual act of the day. Confidence also comes from learning to be okay with mild discomfort in everyday activities — such as trying something new, taking initiative, or speaking up. Every evening, casually ask, “What was one brave thing you did today?” Don’t set unrealistic expectations or define “bravery”. Encourage her to recall anything where she felt uncomfortable but tried anyway. Make deliberate efforts to introduce unusual moments in her day, such as greeting a stranger, asking a question, trying a new activity, etc. Subsequently, at the end of the day help her recollect these moments. Keep the conversation light, pressure-free, and matter-of-fact without making it a big deal or stressful.

Make your child teach. One of the simplest ways to build confidence is to flip roles and let your child become the expert. Ask her to teach you something she knows — how to dribble a ball, draw a rocket, a dinosaur fact, a puzzle trick. When children take pains to explain, they activate metacognition and experience a sense of competence and leadership. Exhibit genuine curiosity, ask follow-up questions, and let them guide the interaction without correcting them in the moment. Ensure you don’t come across like you already know the answer. Engage meaningfully and with curiosity, praising effort rather than perfection. This ritual helps them visualise themselves as someone who has knowledge worth sharing, which is a profound confidence booster.

When parents integrate such experiences into routine learning, children develop a robust internal belief system: conviction that they are capable, adaptable, and prepared to take on new challenges. Ultimately, confidence is not taught; it is built through well-designed experiences that enable children to know themselves, trust their abilities, and engage boldly with the world.