Suresh Subrahmanyan is a Bengaluru-based former advertising professional

I’m suspicious of people who don’t like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn’t like a person — American comedian Bill Murray.

In case you are wondering if I woke up rather late and decided to pen my impressions on the late Frederick Forsyth’s novel The Dogs of War, his hugely successful effort after his blockbuster tome Day of the Jackal, you would be gravely mistaken. Forsyth’s obsession with matters canine, even if only employed metaphorically as catchy book titles, put me in mind of the tremendous palaver currently ongoing in our own country about street dogs. I don’t consider myself a fit candidate to add to the feast of reason and flow of soul we are currently inundated with, or how we should or should not be treating our dumb chums. Far weightier minds than mine are daily voicing their opinions and concerns, tv news channels and social media have been full with film clips of Jimmy and Rani and their doggie friends roaming the streets of Delhi unchecked.

Even the Supreme Court has got into the act. Men and women have been running for cover while hungry creatures are, quite literally, demanding their pound of flesh. However, the fact that everybody who is anybody is holding forth on the subject is not about to deter me from putting my oar in, even if many of the ‘shouters from the rooftops’ are barking up the wrong tree.

It may seem strange but the dog issue has overshadowed, at least in India i.e, Bharat, by some distance the shenanigans of all that is happening on the political front around the world. It’s a case of dog eat dog out there. ‘Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war.’ Putin to engage with Trump in Alaska* (or in Russia if Trump’s faux pas is to be taken seriously), Zelenskyy sulking in Ukraine, Xi Jinping smiling enigmatically like the cat that has eaten the cream and its rare earth minerals, the EU playing its cards close to its chest, Modi not quite certain which way he should be leaning while the Trump Tariff Sword of Damocles hangs precariously over our heads. Meanwhile the world holds its collective breath. These are matters of state to be accorded the status of earth-shattering importance. Notwithstanding, the dog menace will not go away.

The body politic of India is versatile. We can engage with equal felicity on matters pertaining to tariffs and oil prices, alleged voter fraud with the Opposition and the Government throwing punches at each other, often below the belt while simultaneously addressing the vexed issue of dog bites and rabies if matters are left unchecked. In short, everybody is frothing at the mouth over dogs and ‘vote chori’ while diplomatic matters of state on the world stage are kept on the back burner, ready to bounce back at any time. Soon the Bihar state elections will be upon us and all the action will turn to pre-election mud-slinging, more voter fraud allegations and some strategic floor crossing to add fuel to fire.

To get back to the subject, let me state unequivocally that I am an unrepentant dog lover and to watch the poor orphan pooches (pie dogs, as they are known) being hauled into vans with steel hooks as they squeal in pain, is heart wrenching. This is not the first time we have witnessed such cruelty to animals, mainly dogs, and it won’t be the last either. Signature campaigns across social media eliciting support for a more humane solution to canines’ plight seem to be falling on stony ground.

The other side of the debate, as voiced by many eminent personages including learned justices of the judiciary, is that humans and children in particular, cannot be put in harm’s way simply because we are unable to find a solution to check the growth of the canine population. The Supreme Court has read the riot act, but who is listening? It’s a stalemate and a standoff. And we are nowhere near finding a solution.

That’s it. If you cannot solve a problem in India, get on a plane and spend quality time in Switzerland or the Lake District. Stay away from Russia and Ukraine if you know what’s good for you. The same goes for the United States. There are some very nasty Rottweilers there snarling and baring their teeth this very minute. You can throw them a beef marrow bone but they will want the entire Holstein Friesian. You will be tariffed out of existence. You cannot teach an old dog new tricks.

*The Trump Putin Summit happened in Alaska, but nothing else happened. In the frosty conditions of Alaska, they warmly shook hands, bear-hugged and said nice things about each other. End of. No deal. Big deal! The foreplay did not yield a deal, leaving Zelenskyy out in the cold. At least they could have taken a ride with the sleigh Huskies – lovely, furry canines who never bark or bite. Then again, Trump is too busy taking the whole world for a ride!