(Sridhar Pallia is a Bangalore-based clinical psychologist, founder of Brain Behaviour Academy and cofounder of DigiNxtHlt Solutions and Services Pvt. Ltd, a mental wellness health-tech company)

Sridhar Pallia

My teenage daughter wants to pursue a degree in business management. Though I am happy with her choice, I believe she should also focus on developing soft skills. Please advise.

— Rima Sharma, Mumbai

The myth that paper degrees equal career and job readiness is crumbling. High exam marks are not an indicator of success or achievement. In today’s dynamic workplaces, employers value graduates who demonstrate adaptability, emotional intelligence, critical thinking, and a commitment to continuous learning as much as, if not more than, high grades.

To succeed in 21st-century workplaces, these are the six major soft skills your daughter should focus on acquiring:

• Adaptability. Capability to adjust to new information, environments, and challenges.
• Problem-solving. To think critically and apply knowledge, not merely recall information.
• Emotional intelligence. Manage emotions, develop empathy, and inter-personal relationship skills.
• Self-driven learning. The habit of self-learning and seeking knowledge beyond prescribed textbooks.
• Creativity. Apply imagination in practical, innovative ways.
• Collaboration. Work well with others, often across cultures and digital platforms.

These aren’t just soft skills but survival skills in a new era where change is constant.

My daughter gets upset whenever we tell her to focus on securing high marks in exams. We want her to get admission into a reputed college. Please suggest how best we can guide her?

— Minakshi Shekar, Chennai

Parents need to be sensitive to their children’s aptitudes, interests, and potential. There are many ways you can help your daughter discover her aptitudes:

• Prioritise learning and understanding over exam scores. Focus on developing her critical thinking and problem-solving skills rather than memorisation.
• Encourage her to develop life skills. Involve her in home budgeting, planning, decision-making, and resolving conflicts.
• Avoid imposing your career choices and decisions on her. Encourage her to research and explore emerging careers, rather than focusing on outdated careers.
• Model emotional intelligence. Teenage children observe and learn more from how parents manage challenges. Therefore, role model calmness, emotional regulation, and problem-solving skills.

The media often presents varied and sometimes conflicting perspectives on gender identity. How can I help my child understand this topic in an age-appropriate, balanced, and nonjudgmental way?

Parents are often evasive when children raise questions about gender identity, especially as media and social media expose them to diverse viewpoints. The first step is to remain calm and keep the conversation open. Children and adolescents are naturally curious about themselves and the world around them, and asking questions about identity is a normal part of growing up. Listening without judgment helps them feel safe to share their thoughts and concerns.

Explain that gender identity refers to a person’s internal sense and preferences of gender. Keep discussions age-appropriate, answer only questions your child asks, without overwhelming her with unnecessary information. If you don’t know the answer to a question, it is acceptable to say, “Let’s learn about it together.”

Most importantly, avoid reacting with shock, ridicule, or anger, as this can discourage future conversations and damage trust. A warm, respectful parent-child relationship provides the best foundation for discussing sensitive topics, including gender identity. If your child is distressed, persistently confused, or conversations become difficult to navigate, seek guidance from a qualified child psychologist. Supporting your child with empathy, open communication, and reassurance will help her develop confidence and emotional wellbeing.