Reena Chopra

– Reena Chopra is a Bhubaneshwar-based child psychologist and founder of Saar Holistic Wellness

my two children, aged ten and 12 years, about sharing personal information online in an increasingly digital world?

— Manas Thapas, Kolkata

Children in this age group learn best through clear rules and repetition. Introduce simple digital safety guidelines, explaining that private information such as full names, home addresses, school details and personal photos should not be shared, while also reiterating what is safe to share online. Use simple, calm language, not fear-based warnings.

Co-view digital content with children, keep devices in shared family spaces, and role-play online situations just as you would practise real-world safety skills like crossing the road. A helpful tool for online content is the ‘traffic light rule’: Green — safe to share; Yellow — ask a parent first; and Red — never share.

Moreover, encourage your children to pause and check before posting – it will turn online safety into a habit, not a source of anxiety.

My ten-year-old son is envious of some of his friends’ expensive gadgets, foreign holidays, etc. I want him to understand that material possessions don’t define happiness or self-worth. Please advise.

— Kyra Ved, Bengaluru

Envy is a normal emotion, not bad behaviour. Teach him to name the feeling i.e, envy, without judgment and shift focus from comparison to self-growth. Avoid dismissive responses such as “learn to be grateful.” Instead, validate his emotion of envy, then explain to him that everyone’s circumstances and timelines are different, and another child’s success does not diminish his own potential.

Encourage effort-based praise and prompt him to identify his own strengths. For instance, a nine-year-old girl was upset when a friend won a piano competition. Her father responded, “It sounds like you wish you had that moment too.” Together, they spoke about her love for art and set a small goal of joining a weekend art class. Over time, her envy transformed into motivation and purpose.

How can I support my 15-year-old son to develop a balanced view of success beyond academic scores in a competitive education system?

— Deepa Gagan, Pune

Teenage children mirror what parents celebrate. If home conversations revolve only around exams and marks, teens tend to equate self-worth with exam results. Make a conscious effort to value skills, effort, emotional strength, and diverse interests. Share real-life stories of people who have succeeded in diverse professions and create space for open conversations, not lectures. Discuss how resilience, teamwork, and creativity are critical for success in 21st century workplaces. Most importantly, encourage him to identify and develop his co-curricular strengths. This will help him gain confidence beyond his report card.

My six-year-old daughter gets startled and agitated when she hears loud or sudden noises, such as construction or traffic noise. Is this normal for a child of her age?

— Garima Shetty, Chennai

Young children’s nervous systems are still developing, and loud noises can often overwhelm them. Prepare her by explaining that some noises can cause disturbance. Offer sensory support such as noise-cancelling headphones or a favourite comfort toy to help her cope.

Teach simple calming techniques, like slow, deep breathing, and reassure her that the noise is temporary and safe. It is equally important to model calm behaviour, as children learn emotional regulation from parents.

It’s also helpful to observe and track common noise disturbances in your neighbourhood such as construction schedules or peak hour traffic and gently prepare her for when to expect them. With reassurance, predictability and support, most children gradually become more comfortable with loud sounds.