– Richa Singh, CEO, Happinetz

Some of the most useful conversations I have had about children and the internet have not begun with a major online safety incident. They begin with much smaller things. A parent realises that taking away the tablet has not really reduced screen time because the child has simply moved to the television. Another notices that YouTube, which was opened for a school assignment, has turned into a long trail of unrelated videos. Someone else tells us that their child keeps asking for “five more minutes” at bedtime, only for them to realise later how late the device is actually being used. None of these incidents sound alarming on their own. But together, they reveal something important about how children are growing up online. We tend to talk about online safety after something has already gone wrong. A child encounters inappropriate content, shares something they should not have, speaks to someone they do not know or gets drawn into an interaction that makes them uncomfortable. By then, the conversation is reactive. I think we have that backwards. We teach children road safety before they start crossing roads alone. We talk about personal boundaries before expecting them to manage difficult situations independently. The internet deserves the same approach.

Digital confidence can be misleading

Children are remarkably good at using technology. They know how to switch between apps, search for information, use AI tools, find videos, navigate games and work around settings faster than many adults expect them to. That ease can be mistaken for maturity. But knowing how to use technology and knowing how to judge what happens online are two very different things. I have heard parents describe children who are completely confident online but still cannot tell whether the information they have found is reliable. A child may know exactly how to create an account but have very little understanding of what happens to the personal information they enter. They may know how to use an AI tool for homework but not recognise when the answers it provides are incorrect. One parent may think the child “only plays games”, only to discover that the game also includes chats, links, advertising and interactions with people they do not know.

That is why I think our definition of digital literacy is still incomplete. We have spent a lot of time teaching children how to get online. We now need to spend just as much time helping them understand what they find once they are there.

Often, the first clue is a pattern

In our work at Happinetz, I have noticed that parents are rarely looking for total control. Most are trying to understand what is actually happening. One parent may discover that screen time itself is not the biggest issue. Most of the problem may stem from one particular app or one type of content. Another may realise that usage increases dramatically when the parents are travelling. Someone else may notice that a child who seems perfectly fine during the day is staying online much later at night than anyone realised. We have also spoken to parents who assumed that limiting access to one device would solve the problem, only to find that their children were moving between phones, tablets and smart TVs. These conversations have made me realise that visibility is often more useful than blanket restrictions. When parents know where the problem lies, the conversation becomes more specific. Instead of saying, “You are always on the internet”, they can discuss why one app is taking up so much time, why certain types of content may not be appropriate or why devices need to be put away at a particular hour. That is a much better starting point for digital literacy than simply saying no.

Safety should not mean keeping children offline

Parents sometimes worry that online safety automatically means surveillance or taking away independence. That is not what most families want, nor is it realistic. Children need the internet. They use it to learn, research, communicate, play and increasingly work with tools that will be part of their adult lives. The question is how to give them that access without assuming they are ready for complete independence from the beginning. Age-appropriate filters, access controls and safer networks can help while children are still learning. At home, these measures can reduce exposure to content that younger children may not be ready for. In schools, the same approach needs to extend to the network itself. If internet access is part of everyday education, online safety cannot be limited to one cyber-awareness session a year. Students, teachers and administrators do not necessarily need the same kind of internet access, and schools need to consider this when designing their digital environments.

Eventually, children have to make the decisions themselves

No parent, teacher or technology tool will be present for every online decision a child makes. Over time, children must learn to recognise when information seems questionable, when someone is asking for something they should not share, when an interaction feels uncomfortable or when they have spent far longer online than they intended. That ability does not suddenly appear at thirteen, sixteen or eighteen. It develops through years of boundaries, explanations, conversations and gradually increasing independence. The parents I find most interesting are not the ones trying to control every click. They are the ones asking how to reach a point where they no longer have to. For me, that is where digital literacy ultimately needs to lead. An always-connected childhood is already here. Our job now is to ensure that children are not only confident enough to use the internet but also equipped to understand it.

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